Bad things to say during a driving test

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

"Got the bastard!"

[WOM]

Bad things to say during a driving test

Does one normally have to take the test 3 or 4 times, or is this woman likely an aberration?

[Kowalski]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"It was my birthday last night, I was wrecked"

[chrisS]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"Just been playing Burnout on my XBox 360"

[Ginger Yellow]

Bad things to say during a driving test

A few facts about the British driving test. It was inaugurated in 1935, and since then, nearly 92 million people have taken it - 1.8 million in 2006/7 alone. The average time spent preparing is 14 months. Aspirants take an average of 52 hours of professional instruction, spending around £1,200. Even as British roads have grown more crowded over the past decade, the percentage of young people holding a licence has declined (in part because driving has become so expensive, but also because learning how to drive has become so expensive). In 2006/7, 43% of candidates passed the practical test on the first try, while 68% passed the theory test. It took an average of 2.3 attempts to pass the practical. Males have a slight (and narrowing) edge on the practical, while females have a more pronounced advantage on the theory portion. The most common manoeuvre driving instructors asked candidates to perform was "turn in the road". In one of five failed tests, the Department for Transport noted in a report, candidates actually performed so badly the instructor had to "physically intervene".

[Guest]

Bad things to say during a driving test

The average time spent preparing is 14 months. Aspirants take an average of 52 hours of professional instruction, spending around £1,200.

Christ.

In 2006/7, 43% of candidates passed the practical test on the first try, while 68% passed the theory test.

Christ. One in three fails the theory test?!

[Guest]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"I have a kind of red/green colourblindness thing going on but I don't let it stop me."

"See that street down there on the left, to the bottom? The one past the swimming pool, where that new hotel is, right where that guy walking his dog is standing? That's where the last instructor failed me for not watching the road."

"My instructor advised me to be alert, so I sank 25 Red Bulls before this test."

[Guest]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"Get the wheel for me, whilst I answer the phone"

[Incandenza]

Bad things to say during a driving test

When I took my driving test (which I passed on the first time, thankfully), I had to demonstrate that I knew the car's turn signals, emergency lights, etc., before we went out on the road. The person from the DMV stood behind my car to see that the lights worked and I knew how to use them--except when I showed her the turn signal, I was so nervous I kind of pulled back on the handle, which released the wiper fluid. Spraying your DMV examiner with wiper fluid apparently doesn't result in an automatic fail.

[Kowalski]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"Which pedal makes it stop again?"

[matt j]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"I don't need to know how to stop, just how to get it moving."

[Oldelpaso]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"Twenty-third time's the charm"

[Guest]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"What do you mean I jumped a red light? Ah fuck it, I'm taking this test for someone else. 50 quid, yeah?"

[loppy]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"could you take the next left please?"
""sod that, nasty little roundabout and junction down there and traffic will be bit heavy this time of day, I'm goin right, nice quiet road!"

[Sam]

Bad things to say during a driving test

WornOldMotorbike wrote:

Does one normally have to take the test 3 or 4 times, or is this woman likely an aberration?

You'd be amazed WOM. The mother of a kid I went to junior school with passed her driving text on the twelfth attempt. I'm of the opinion that there should be a maximum number of times you can tak it, because realistically, there's no way she can have significantly improved between her eleventh and twelfth tests, having already had... oh, what, about 500 hours of lessons as it was...

[JtS]

Bad things to say during a driving test

Has OTF turned into a bad edition of Whose Line Is It Anyway?

[Mumpo]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"Can you stick your thumb up my arse?"

[Gerontophile]

Bad things to say during a driving test

"Say 'When'. Hic"

[hobbes]

Bad things to say during a driving test

I passed first time after 8 lessons.
I'm a shit driver, though. Or as my mate put it "technically skilled but aggressive beyond the point of insanity."
This is why I no longer own a car.
The occasions when I drive now are a relaxing pleasure rather than gladiatorial combat.

[Wyatt Earp]

Bad things to say during a driving test

WornOldMotorbike wrote:

Does one normally have to take the test 3 or 4 times, or is this woman likely an aberration?

The average is 2.3 attempts, I think. Mrs E, who of course has taken yours and ours, says ours is a lot harder (though she passed it pretty easily, the caah).

The evidence that the difficulty of the test makes any difference to safety in the long term is, I gather, pretty weak.

[evilC]

Bad things to say during a driving test

Wyatt Earp wrote:

WornOldMotorbike wrote:

Does one normally have to take the test 3 or 4 times, or is this woman likely an aberration?

The average is 2.3 attempts, I think. Mrs E, who of course has taken yours and ours, says ours is a lot harder (though she passed it pretty easily, the caah).

The evidence that the difficulty of the test makes any difference to safety in the long term is, I gather, pretty weak.

I think that after a little while driving, people tend to think they know it all and are, by default, a good driver ...so they drive however the hell they like. I think that the interesting distinction to make is between people who know how to use their car and people who know how to use the road. Some people get a moderately expensive car that goes fast and they think that, because they know how to make it go fast, they're a good driver. Wrong!

I never thought I would be able to make (reasonably accurate) generalisations about people's driving habits by the car they drive, but there are definite patterns. One thing I was pleasantly surprised by is that most Porsche drivers seem like quite good road users. (I hate Porsche, you see.) Ferrari drivers, conversely, drive like utter arseholes.

How would you all feel about periodically having to re-take the test as a matter of course? Say, after every five years or after each bunch of points that go on your licence?

[Wyatt Earp]

Bad things to say during a driving test

I'd find it very irksome. But that's not a good argument against the idea.

[JtS]

Bad things to say during a driving test

I'd be in favour of re-testing, maybe after 5 yrs then each 10 yrs, then every 5 yrs once you reach 65.

I'd also be in favour of a complete driving ban for anyone wearing a hat while driving. Research shows that they drive like cnuts.

[Wyatt Earp]

Bad things to say during a driving test

I foresee problems in the Stamford Hill area.

[kugelrund]

Bad things to say during a driving test

In France, of course, if you're really, really bad at driving, lack the basic mental faculties to pass the theory test, or both, you simply go out and buy a VSP - a voiture/vehicule sans permis. And off you go, out onto the roads as normal.

After all, just because you can't really steer very well, aren't sure what those switches do on the dashboard, and have no idea what those funny signs at the side of the road mean, it doesn't mean you shouldn't have a car.

Even if you lose your licence for some reason - say, you're an alcoholic who continually gets shitfaced and crashes and are banned from driving as a result - you just buy a VSP and carry on as normal. Only more slowly.