The inglorious Twelfth

[Kevin S]

Yes, it's that time of year again. Last year, we had a bonfire on a housing estate which set fire to someone's roof. This year... well... let's let the picture speak for itself, eh?

[Kevin S]

Apparently it's gone a bit wonkier since that picture was taken. And there are some local embellishments being flown, too.

[Duncan Gardner]

My old Ma lives round the corner (middle background in the photo).

Street running past the Ziggurat used to be the local Lovers' Lane until they named it after Prince Andrew.

Unless that photo was taken in the least fortnight it has grown since.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

This would suggest that it's at the junction of Prince andrew way and love lane, which given his exploits with Jeffrey Epstein seems like as good a place as any for this bonfire.

I love some of the quotes.

[Kevin S]

It's quite hard to get a sense of perspective from the photos. Here's a BBC article on it.

I've seen some claims that there's about 100m between the tower and the petrol station. But embers can surely float that far when they are starting from 15m up.

I don't much fancy the chances of the nearby trees and lampposts either.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

you can check it out on google maps. It's at the west end of Prince Andrew way, near the most westerly road linking it to Lovers way. It's maybe a 100 metres away, but it's clearly far too fucking close.

[Duncan Gardner]

Trust me, it's close to the pumps and pretty worrying.

[Kevin S]

Ah, yes. So behind the row of trees is Carrickfergus Golf Club, just in case it collapses away from the road.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Why hasn't this Bonfire been dismantled? It's clearly illegal, it's clearly incredibly dangerous, what are the police for? Why do the UK govt pander so shamefully to the Loyalists? It doesn't do them any good.

[Kevin S]

How do they actually construct these things? Scaffolding? Cranes? Or do they just climb up each layer?

[ursus arctos]

I thought that they brought in traditional artisans from Côte d'Ivoire

[WOM]

Please tell me they're not still layering them with old tires...as I've seen in some of the photos.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Ah, come on, it's a bit of harmless fun now isn't it?

Anyone buying that? Thought not. As for why the government panders to loyalists, the answer is obvious.

[Kevin S]

Oh no, you mustn't diminish and demean the bonfires... that's cultural war, that is.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Jaysus.

[WOM]

Have they seen a calendar round those parts? Do they realize it's 2017?

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

No the answer isn't obvious. That's the thing. This bonfire in this picture is fucking insane. They should take the fucking thing down and if the council won't do it, send the army and police to do it. At some point the UK govt is going to have to stand up to the loyalists, and put them in their place. We know they're well able to do it. This isn't something you can ignore until it goes away, or is this bullshit going to go on until 20 people get killed by a bonfire, and every suddenly realises that this is fucking dangerous lunacy?

[Toby Gymshorts]

The question wasn't "why the fuck doesn't someone stop this bollocks?", it was "why does the government pander to loyalists?". I'm no political expert (and therefore exactly the type of person the government might love, in these post-expert days), but I reckon I've got a fairly good idea why.

[Various Artist]

Any ideas why of all places this towering inferno had to be set up right there?

I mean, if they're in search of a little frisson of excitement that might very well come along hand-in-hand with the adjacent petrol station going WHOOOMPH midway through the party, then obviously it's an ideal site. But WTF were they thinking of?

[WOM]

I don't mean to be culturally insensitive and intellectually dismissive, but perhaps you're not dealing with the best minds of one's generation when talking about grown men stacking used tyres (sic) and shipping pallets for burning. Perhaps they're just, you know, idiots.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Are you involved in the Sinn Fein cultural war too?

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

These bonfires are really weird. I mean don't get me wrong, we like a good bonfire down south. Like a lot of rural britain and france we light bonfires on John's eve which by being two days after midsummer has absolutely nothing to do with the old pagan festivals that involve bonfires. (it's also a good way to dispose of awkward things you want to burn like a shitty old wardrobe, or a load of packing cardboard that your new wardrobe arrived in.) We like to have the odd one at halloween, and if a rural county wins an all ireland, particularly after a long absence, then there'll be a bonfire in each town as the team makes its way home.

But those things I'm talking about are rather small, and usually don't involve too many pallets, and no tires. Because that's fucking crazy. I mean really fucking crazy. I appreciate that some communities may not have access to large amounts of open space, because they live in the middle of a fucking city, but often it is these bonfires that are the most ridiculously oversized.

But this one is special. This could result in an enormous explosion that kills them all. How is this happening.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Maybe, just maybe, a massive petrol station explosion will be what it takes.

I mean, I don't want to be dismissive, but perhaps this is just natural selection at work.

[WOM]

... like a shitty old wardrobe, or a load of packing cardboard that your new wardrobe arrived in.

Made me chuckle a lot longer than it ought to have.

[Third rate Leszno]

They do have a terrible, mad beauty about them though (if you were able to remove all the sectarian bollocks that surrounds them).