This is one of the brutally funniest stories I've read in The Onion for some years. Read it all the way through - it picks up pace and doesn't let go.
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Happy 9/11!
It almost doesn't seem like a parody.But amid all the decorating and gift-giving, Vice President Cheney is careful not to let all the 9/11 festivities distract him from the deeper significance the day holds.
"Sometimes, in all the hustle and bustle of the season, it's easy to forget the true meaning of Sept. 11," Cheney said. "Sept. 11 is not about fancy 9/11 parades, or big 9/11 office parties. In fact, it's not even just about two buildings crumbling to the ground and leaving thousands of innocent people dead."
"No," Cheney continued. "No, 9/11 is about the warm feeling you get when you help an elderly woman cross the street and then whisper to her that the terrorists can strike at any moment. 9/11 is about the satisfaction of telling people to do things and then them doing it—not because they want to, but because they are afraid to do otherwise. 9/11 is about removing Saddam Hussein from power. But most of all, 9/11 is about love." -
Happy 9/11!
Yes, the GOP renders parody superfluous. Have you been watching The Daily Show at the RNC all this week? They've been on top form, especially when they sent their reporters out to ask delegates a simple question like, "What exactly are small town values?" which they then struggle to answer (One guy: "Fishing."). And Samantha Bee pinning people down on Bristol Palin's decision to keep her baby was genius. "So you would say she faced a....now what's the word I'm looking for? You know, when you have two alternatives and you choose one or the other?"Comment
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Happy 9/11!
SuperbAlthough Cheney himself has never received any Sept. 11 gifts, with the exception of a pair of silk pajamas from his wife and a second term in office.....Comment
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Happy 9/11!
imp - Yes, very funny stuff, but it's all just a bit too easy, isn't it? I mean, the Republicans aren't even trying to hide their hypocrisy this time around.Comment
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Happy 9/11!
FF, those 'Are Your Cats Old Enough To Learn About Jesus' t-shirts are just made for you.Comment
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