Cockwomble - you read it here first?

[Benjm]

One of my cousins' new fave word is cockwomble. Checking that it doesn't have a meaning beyond 'total idiot' I came across a suggestion that the word was first sighted on an internet football forum. Was that here? I'm sure that I first saw the term here, but that doesn't prove anything more than how much time I [strike]waste[/strike] spend reading OTF.

COCKWOMBLE.

Discuss.

[blameless]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

I've been seeing the word for a few years, mainly on Pie & Bovril - it's become so synonymous with describing clueless SPFL chief executive Neil Doncaster that it's pretty much the board's house style now (indeed, one of the Urban Dictionary definitions for "cockwomble" uses Doncaster as the subject).

[Lang Spoon]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

If it was Pie and Bovril or here even that invented it, that's a pretty impressive take up for niche obscurish sites. I thought it would be some NSFW casually shitebag site like Football365.

[GCostanza]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

It's been going a while...

[ad hoc]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Been a lot of talk this week about the origin of the word shitgibbon, which was used by some Philadelphia senator this week in relation to 45.

[Lucy Waterman]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

My guess is that it either comes from one of the obscurer parts of Chris Morris's output, or was coined by an enthusiastic Chris Morris fan. It is an impossibly Morris-y portmanteau, with its mix of swear and whimsy.

[Benjm]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Hmm, looks like cockwomble won't be useful as supporting evidence in establishing OTF as the third pillar of the English language after Shakespeare and the King James Bible then. Shithammers.

[Various Artist]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Who killed Cock Womble?

[Benjm]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

And which page of the atlas did she pick her name from, anyway?

[Gerontophile]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Benjm wrote: Shithammers.

Jizzspanners.
Splurgepliers.
Spunksocket. (I might have to copyright this one)
Turdcrimper.

Yes, those work just fine. Any more?

[EIM]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

This twee overwrought swearing is wank. Sorry. Wankdyfloss. Wankteepee. Wankhamster. Wankcanoe.

[Various Artist]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

I still cherish Gero's former sidebar text, which I think read "Hatewank is my new favourite word".

[Various Artist]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Benjm wrote: And which page of the atlas did she pick her name from, anyway?

I don't think it was an atlas that they used for that one. Some more... specialist publication, perhaps.

[Benjm]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Maybe one of them was hiding adult periodicals in the atlas, with unfortunate consequences. At first, suspicion fell upon Tomsk and Tobermory, as the more laddish Wombles, but I reckon it was Wellington, whose air of furtive sexual repression makes Morrissey seem positively Scandinavian.

[Benjm]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

EIM wrote: This twee overwrought swearing is wank. Sorry. Wankdyfloss. Wankteepee. Wankhamster. Wankcanoe.

This is true up to a point but you're also a bit starry eyed about the pretence towards direct blokeness of your new rugby mates.

Just remember that, for them, wankteepees, wankhamsters and wankcanoes aren't comedy swearwords but real and fondly remembered leisure options from their boarding school days.

[EIM]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Fucked the rugby off and went Fiorentina v Udinese instead.

[Gerontophile]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Various Artist wrote: I still cherish Gero's former sidebar text, which I think read "Hatewank is my new favourite word".

Whenever I see* the word "Hatewank" nowadays, I immediately get a Motors earworm, which is very pleasing.

*(I don't really hear it nowadays, I may have to change that)

[Benjm]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Can't believe I ever doubted you, EIM.

It's direct route one swearing only from now on.

[Various Artist]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Gerontophile wrote: Whenever I see the word "Hatewank" nowadays, I immediately get a Motors earworm, which is very pleasing.

Oh, that's brilliant. I'll never hear Airport the same way again...

[ad hoc]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

More on cockwombles and shitgibbons http://www.languagejones.com/blog-1/2017/2/9/linguists-have-been-discussing-shit-gibbon-i-argue-its-not-entirely-about-gibbons

[WOM]

Cockwomble - you read it here first?

Whenever I have to blow my nose first thing in the morning, I always tell the kids that the snotgobblins must have come by in the night