I was musing yesterday on the subject of funerals (while I was at one - covered in the 27 years on thread). I've been to a lot of funerals since I moved to Romania and there is a fairly standard way of doing things (whatever the religion involved - and all of them have involved a religion - Catholic, Hungarian reformed (Calvinist), and Romanian Orthodox). The ceremony takes place in a small open sided chapel in the cemetery. It is preceded by the close family of the deceased standing around the coffin (which is sometimes open other times closed), and the mourners arrive and walk round the coffin, offer their condolences to the family, and then go and stand somewhere. The priest shows up, and there is a fairly short service which includes a eulogy, and then the coffin is closed if necessary, and carried to the location of the grave, into which it is lowered, the earth shovelled on top and then all the flowers and wreaths placed on top. On leaving the cemetery everyone is offered a glass of palinka (local spirit) and a slice of "kalacs" (a sort of sweet bread). If you're close to the family and the deceased (or often if you've come far), you then tend to be invited to the lunch which will be usually be in a restaurant, and involve a set meal (soup, meat, dessert)
What is notable to me about this is that it all happens very soon after the actual death. In the vast majority of cases I have been involved in (either closely or just as a mourner) the funeral has taken place two days after the death, with only a few cases being 3 days later - my father in law died suddenly while staying with us, so (a) there had to be an autopsy; and (b) we had to transport him back to his home town for the funeral and so this was a 3 day one. My experience in the UK suggests that funerals are at least a week later, often closer to two . The question I'm laboriously getting around to is ... Why? Has it always been that way? Have funerals always taken so long, or is it a modern thing? Is there a reason behind it (ie it gives those grieving something to do, to have all the organising in front of them)?
Muslim funerals in my experience are even faster, a friend of a friend in Turkey died young and suddenly a couple of months ago on a Saturday night and his funeral was on the Sunday afternoon . In general in my limited experience in Muslim countries funerals are the next day. Now there is a possible reason for that in that Muslim countries tend to be very hot ones and it is potentially a very practical need to bury the body as quickly as possible. But is that why? Or are there other cultural/religious reasons?
What is notable to me about this is that it all happens very soon after the actual death. In the vast majority of cases I have been involved in (either closely or just as a mourner) the funeral has taken place two days after the death, with only a few cases being 3 days later - my father in law died suddenly while staying with us, so (a) there had to be an autopsy; and (b) we had to transport him back to his home town for the funeral and so this was a 3 day one. My experience in the UK suggests that funerals are at least a week later, often closer to two . The question I'm laboriously getting around to is ... Why? Has it always been that way? Have funerals always taken so long, or is it a modern thing? Is there a reason behind it (ie it gives those grieving something to do, to have all the organising in front of them)?
Muslim funerals in my experience are even faster, a friend of a friend in Turkey died young and suddenly a couple of months ago on a Saturday night and his funeral was on the Sunday afternoon . In general in my limited experience in Muslim countries funerals are the next day. Now there is a possible reason for that in that Muslim countries tend to be very hot ones and it is potentially a very practical need to bury the body as quickly as possible. But is that why? Or are there other cultural/religious reasons?
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