This week I have recouped a total of £100 from a variety of cunts.
Earlier this year, the cunts at Barclays put in place a ridiculously complex new security system for their online banking. It's called, vomitously, PINsentry and involves a card that looks like a debit card but in fact can only be used with the PINsentry card reader. Insert the card, type in its PIN and the reader gives you an eight-digit number to enter into the website. Initially they sent the reader to my house, where all the bills go, and the card to my old address that I left two years ago, but eventually I got it working. Until a few weeks ago, that is, when it stopped. After a number of phone calls to the cunts at customer services, culminating in a 20-minute chat to the only cunt who knew how the fuck anything worked, it turned out that not only can you just use your ordinary debit card with the PINsentry reader, but that if you hold a debit card and then start using a PINsentry card as well, the system gets confused and cancels your online banking. So in other words, the card that I didn't ask for, that took them two attempts to send to me, was actually worse than useless. Stupid, stupid cunts. Anyway, as a result of not being able to transfer money online, I went overdrawn, for which the cunts charged me £30. Then when another transaction went through the cunts charged me another £30. I wrote to them pointing out that these charges are illegal, that I only went overdrawn because of their fucking stupid online banking system, and that if they didn't refund the £60 instantly I would simply close the account. I also strongly implied that on a personal and professional level, they were cunts. On Wednesday some cunt phoned to meekly inform me that the £60 would indeed be re-credited to my account.
Earlier this month, I signed up for mobile broadband with Three. However, when I noticed that there's free wireless on my street (cough), and read not only that Three's mobile broadband might not work on my Linux machine, but also that Three are notorious for being, in customer services terms, cunts, I cancelled the contract, within their given cancellation period. Today I noticed that Three had charged me £15 for the first month anyway. £15 would not have been the right amount in any case, as I entered into the contract when they were offering it at the reduced price of £7.50. I phoned them today and the cunt on the other end ascertained in seconds that my account had indeed been terminated, and agreed to rectify the "error" of charging me twice the agreed price for a service I am not receiving.
The Three direct debit was from my other bank account, with HSBC. Last month these cunts wrote to offer me an overdraft. It was the same one I had already, but this had "expired" and they were kindly offering me the chance to renew it for the bargain price of a £25 "arrangement fee". That's £25 for literally not doing anything - what a pack of cunts. So today I phoned them to say no thanks, I just won't have an overdraft facility any more, and don't even think of charging me £25. The cunt at HSBC put me on hold for over five minutes, then came back and said that as I was outside the 14-day cancellation period, they would indeed be charging me £25 - in a particularly fine piece of total cuntery, she then offered to cancel the overdraft anyway as that's what I had requested, ie she was offering to charge me £25 for a reduction in the service provided. Unfortunately for HSBC I'm not as credulous as they evidently hope people are, so I kept her on the line while I checked the letter, which said I had until today to reply and mentioned nothing of a 14-day time limit. She directed me to the terms and conditions, which stated that if I had accepted the offer I would have had 14 days to reconsider. I asked when HSBC thought I had accepted the offer, and the call centre cunt recited to me the date of the letter HSBC had sent. So their case was - and remember she went away for several minutes before trying this, so she'd evidently been told to say it by a more senior cunt - that their written offer itself constituted an acceptance by me of said offer. What a complete shower of cunts. When it became obvious that this crude attempt to swindle me out of £25 wasn't working, she put me on hold for another five minutes before returning to meekly announce that yes, they would cancel the overdraft, and no, they wouldn't charge me £25 for nothing whatsoever.
In summary:
Barclays - cunts.
Three - cunts.
HSBC - cunts.
Earlier this year, the cunts at Barclays put in place a ridiculously complex new security system for their online banking. It's called, vomitously, PINsentry and involves a card that looks like a debit card but in fact can only be used with the PINsentry card reader. Insert the card, type in its PIN and the reader gives you an eight-digit number to enter into the website. Initially they sent the reader to my house, where all the bills go, and the card to my old address that I left two years ago, but eventually I got it working. Until a few weeks ago, that is, when it stopped. After a number of phone calls to the cunts at customer services, culminating in a 20-minute chat to the only cunt who knew how the fuck anything worked, it turned out that not only can you just use your ordinary debit card with the PINsentry reader, but that if you hold a debit card and then start using a PINsentry card as well, the system gets confused and cancels your online banking. So in other words, the card that I didn't ask for, that took them two attempts to send to me, was actually worse than useless. Stupid, stupid cunts. Anyway, as a result of not being able to transfer money online, I went overdrawn, for which the cunts charged me £30. Then when another transaction went through the cunts charged me another £30. I wrote to them pointing out that these charges are illegal, that I only went overdrawn because of their fucking stupid online banking system, and that if they didn't refund the £60 instantly I would simply close the account. I also strongly implied that on a personal and professional level, they were cunts. On Wednesday some cunt phoned to meekly inform me that the £60 would indeed be re-credited to my account.
Earlier this month, I signed up for mobile broadband with Three. However, when I noticed that there's free wireless on my street (cough), and read not only that Three's mobile broadband might not work on my Linux machine, but also that Three are notorious for being, in customer services terms, cunts, I cancelled the contract, within their given cancellation period. Today I noticed that Three had charged me £15 for the first month anyway. £15 would not have been the right amount in any case, as I entered into the contract when they were offering it at the reduced price of £7.50. I phoned them today and the cunt on the other end ascertained in seconds that my account had indeed been terminated, and agreed to rectify the "error" of charging me twice the agreed price for a service I am not receiving.
The Three direct debit was from my other bank account, with HSBC. Last month these cunts wrote to offer me an overdraft. It was the same one I had already, but this had "expired" and they were kindly offering me the chance to renew it for the bargain price of a £25 "arrangement fee". That's £25 for literally not doing anything - what a pack of cunts. So today I phoned them to say no thanks, I just won't have an overdraft facility any more, and don't even think of charging me £25. The cunt at HSBC put me on hold for over five minutes, then came back and said that as I was outside the 14-day cancellation period, they would indeed be charging me £25 - in a particularly fine piece of total cuntery, she then offered to cancel the overdraft anyway as that's what I had requested, ie she was offering to charge me £25 for a reduction in the service provided. Unfortunately for HSBC I'm not as credulous as they evidently hope people are, so I kept her on the line while I checked the letter, which said I had until today to reply and mentioned nothing of a 14-day time limit. She directed me to the terms and conditions, which stated that if I had accepted the offer I would have had 14 days to reconsider. I asked when HSBC thought I had accepted the offer, and the call centre cunt recited to me the date of the letter HSBC had sent. So their case was - and remember she went away for several minutes before trying this, so she'd evidently been told to say it by a more senior cunt - that their written offer itself constituted an acceptance by me of said offer. What a complete shower of cunts. When it became obvious that this crude attempt to swindle me out of £25 wasn't working, she put me on hold for another five minutes before returning to meekly announce that yes, they would cancel the overdraft, and no, they wouldn't charge me £25 for nothing whatsoever.
In summary:
Barclays - cunts.
Three - cunts.
HSBC - cunts.
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