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I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

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    I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

    ...ye gods, the size of the spider I evicted from my flat this morning.

    It looked like one of these after a crash programme of weight training and creatine.

    I've flung it out into the back green. By the end of the day I fully expect it to have eaten the family of urban foxes who live there.

    #2
    I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

    hobbes would like a picture...

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      #3
      I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

      Only if it's taped to a pickaxe I can bury in your spinal column...
      /smiley

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        #4
        I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

        I think 'fast' is the thing about spiders that I really dislike most - I'm actually more comfortable staring at a tarantula in a zoo than I am looking at a big house spider because I know the tarantula is relatively slow moving and predictable. Although I'm mildly phobic I reckon I could let one of them sit on my hand, but the thought of letting a house spider do the same is making my hands curl up and I'm squirming in my seat as I type....

        Only bad encounter I had with arachnids in Australia was when one crawled out of the a/c unit in our hotel room in Hobart - I shit one and ran downstairs to get the night porter to come and capture it (soft pommie barstard).

        If you'd sat it on a saucer I think its legs would've dangled over the edge - not great.

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          #5
          I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

          you big girls blouses, you.

          Spiders are cute, and actually very pretty. However, they are also annoying buggers, and quite possibly not of this world (see Darwin etc)

          The males are nice because their webs are a shambles; the females are the ones who do the pretty things that look spectacular when wet. (Dont go there!)

          We currently have 4 house spiders of varying sizes... one is absolutely huge (about 5cm across) and just sits in a corner and waits. The smallest tends to run across the bathroom floor in a tizz, because there is fuck all to eat in there (clean bathroom, obviously). The female in the kitchen is the size of a 50p piece and has a web just over the window, which helps in the summer, when stupid insects come flying in, and get absolutely mullered. (I think she may give off a scent of some sort: the web is like a magnet)

          The other one is the bastard... it runs back and forth across the living room ceiling, like a drunk trying to find a taxi to take him south of the river.

          We clean the old webs up (before you ask) but not the ones that are currently in use.

          Spiders are cool. Get over yourselves.

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            #6
            I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

            8 legs, 3 eyes (I think)

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              #7
              I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

              We got a huge spider in the house the other day too. One of those ones that's big enough that it has visibly hairy legs. Mrs. H trapped it under a glass and then slid a postcard underneath to capture it before taking it outside to release it. However, when she got to the front door, she realised that the spider was no longer in the glass, and must have slipped out somewhere along the way.

              A few minutes later we spotted it walking across the living room again and this time we made sure we got rid of it.

              And then my mum nearly had a heart attack at the weekend when her and my dad were visiting and she spotted quite possibly the same spider again (certainly a similar size) on the floor distressingly close to her feet and, not incidentally, in the room where she was to be sleeping that night. If we hadn't removed it I think she'd have been on the next train back to Scotland.

              It's the season for them, isn't it? They always seem to emerge in late summer.

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                #8
                I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                It's coming up to daddy long legs season too, I think, judging by the one or two I've seen in the house lately.

                Be very afraid.

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                  #9
                  I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                  Fucking hell, I hate daddy longlegs. Moreso than spiders.

                  Here's a Charlie Brooker column from last year's spider season.

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                    #10
                    I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                    Did You Know?
                    House spiders can survive for several months without food or water.
                    No, I didn't. And would have been quite happy never knowing.

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                      #11
                      I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                      Mumpo wrote:
                      It's coming up to daddy long legs season too, I think, judging by the one or two I've seen in the house lately.

                      Be very afraid.
                      Indeed. Fucking evil bastards. I just came back from a run, started my warm-down stretches against the wall in the back garden, and there he was, two feet away. I could swear he was grinning at me. Felt like a dual in a bad Western - who would move first? Did I dare complete my stretch? Or would he leap at me if I did?

                      I did as it happens. But I bet he's still there now. Bastard! Daddy Longlegs are the pinacle of the scariness chain. Think about it. Think of the scariest animal you can. Then give it the ability to fly. With normal spiders, assuming you spot them first, you can at least keep an eye on them, and adjust your position accordingly. But DLL are three-dimensional bastards. They can fly right at you. Evil, accursed creatures!

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                        #12
                        I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                        Daddy long legs are fine with me, although when they try and fly up your nostril (as one did on Sunday) I can get a bit vexed.

                        I'm also ok with harvestmen, despite their similar appearance to spiders. Not sure what it is with spiders, but like my vertigo it's got more pronounced as I've got older.

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                          #13
                          I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                          I very slowly scrolled down this thread, glad there were no pictures (I'm a full-on arachnophobe, even reasonably accurate drawings of spiders will give me The Fear). And I haven't forgiven those cunts at The Metro for printing the enormous full-colour photo of the camel spider that's terrorised a family into leaving their house. Dropped my paper on the tube this morning and nearly leapt out of my seat.

                          I took a hypnotherapy course at London Zoo a few years ago. They get the head entemologist to give a bit of a Q&A session, then they have a hypnotherapy session, then a practical "can you capture this house spider now" session (and then an optional "get your photo taken holding this Chilean bird-eating spider" bit). The ZSL chap was saying that extreme arachnophobia can be horribly debilitating - they've seen people who've trashed their houses with makeshift deodorant can flamethrowers and air rifles, people who pass out at the word "spider", etc.

                          It did work for me - for about a day. Some wanker got a spasmy leg and kicked me, waking me up in the middle of the hypnotherapy. I made it as far as Fear Factor on TV that night, where a woman had several dozen large tarantulas poured over her. It was when they started wrestling and fighting each other I bottled it.

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                            #14
                            I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                            How can you find a daddy long-legs scary or evil? They look so silly. The spiders must all laugh at them behind their backs.

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                              #15
                              I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                              You needn't be worried about camel spiders, Crusoe. They're not spiders. They're solpugids. Which is an arachnid, of course, but it aint no spider.

                              I used to be fine with spiders. But too much watching Aliens as a kid has turned me right off them.

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                                #16
                                I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                                I learned something new tonight. Still, ugly and spidery freaks me out, even if they're just wannabes.

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                                  #17
                                  I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                                  I did a google image search for them, and fuck me. I seriously hope you never have to see the image I just saw.

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                                    #18
                                    I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                                    They're about as close to face-huggers as you get in real life, aren't they. Awesome beasts.

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                                      #19
                                      I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                                      The most famous picture of a camel spider is actually two and is quite misleading in it's perspective.

                                      They still look pretty cool though.

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                                        #20
                                        I'm not normally arachnophobic, but...

                                        Mumpo wrote:
                                        It's coming up to daddy long legs season too, I think, judging by the one or two I've seen in the house lately.

                                        Be very afraid.
                                        One of these bastards just flew right at me through the bathroom window. In fucking February! Is this one of the aspects of Climate Change Al Gore neglected to mention?

                                        The eight-legged apocalypse is coming...

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