You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

[WOM]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Pfft. Sit down...have a read....it'll start and stop eventually.

[Toby Gymshorts]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

treibeis wrote:

Cadbury's Fruit and Nut is a thing of joy.

Apart from the fruit bits and the nut bits.

hobbes is right.

The Frank Muir advert was rubbish as well.

If only there was some kind of catchy word or phrase to pithily describe how wrong you both are.

Anyway, I'm pleased to report that 18 hours in the waterworks are still functioning as previously.

[Jah Womble]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Frank Muir definitely voiced the 'Fruit and Nutcase' commercials, not the Whole Nut ad.

Anyone who tries to claim that nuts and chocolate aren't perfect bedfellows seriously needs to reevaluate his entire existence.

[Satchmo Distel]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

"nuts whole hazelnuts" is based on The Banana Boat Song by Harry Belafonte. The vocal is presumably by some hack jingle singer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6t9ZJK-vc-I

[hobbes]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

I used to know a shaggy dog story that had the (sung) punchline "huts, old naval huts. The cavalry got them and they covered them in chocolate."

[Jesus]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

By the way, who makes that shit chocolate in these?

[Jah Womble]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

You seem to be trying to eat a cheap Christmas card.

Stan Freberg's parody of Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) still amuses me for some reason - not that it gets too many airings these days, like.

It also provided the basis for a 1980s Trio chocolate biscuit commercial, IIRC.

[treibeis]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Jah Womble wrote: Anyone who tries to claim that nuts and chocolate aren't perfect bedfellows seriously needs to reevaluate his entire existence.

When I was a child, my mother worked in a chocolate factory. The staff discount was very generous, so she'd bring home sacks (literally) of sweet stuff that she'd bought for about ten pence.

One of this factory's most popular products was chocolate-covered nuts. I think they went by the ill-chosen name of Knobs.

The chocolate tasted like cooking chocolate that had been down the back of a sofa for a month. The nuts tasted like burnt toast.

I know it was the quality of the ingredients, rather than the combination, that made these things taste shit. It still doesn't make the chocolate-nut memories any less painful, though.

[Sits]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

All this talk of Fruit & Nut and Whole Nut, no love for the unsung greatest of the trio, Cadbury's Sultana?

[Sits]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

treibeis wrote:
That's another thing about turning 40. You can remember ancient chocolate adverts, but you can't remember to get up and go to the lavatory before starting to urinate.

Everybody knows, Texan takes time a-chewin.

[treibeis]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Sits wrote: All this talk of Fruit & Nut and Whole Nut, no love for the unsung greatest of the trio, Cadbury's Sultana?

Was that a cousin of the Amazin Raisin bar?

"It's amazin / What raisins / Can do".

Not Frank Muir. Possibly the same bloke who did the voiceover for the Denim adverts.

[Jesus]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

I notice that there is no reply to what a snow-scent candle might smell like.

People who decide to start a business where the core element is candles and scent are probably the most likely to get ripped off by a TV-pastor. So they can shove their snow-smell up where it often smells a lot.

[Jesus]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Jah Womble wrote: You seem to be trying to eat a cheap Christmas card.

You've never had one of those where you open Dec 2 and it's the same crappy bit of chocolate stuck in plastic behind there?

[Jah Womble]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

I wrote:

The Amazin Raisin bloke was some cheery young Cockney bus conductor, as I recall.

Just to correct myself at this juncture - was he b*llocks a bus conductor. What the heck was he? A window cleaner? Maybe he had a fruit stall.

Can't remember...

[Toby Gymshorts]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Actually I've had a change of heart and decided that Cadbury's can fuck off.

[Ginger Yellow]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

On the plus side, the Treasury is consulting on changes to the tax regime which would render such schemes basically useless.

[Anorak Smith]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Ginger Yellow wrote: On the plus side, the Treasury is consulting on changes to the tax regime which would render such schemes basically useless.

Meaning Mondelez might look to increase revenue elsewhere, perhaps by further cuts to UK production/staff, or worse, making Dairy Milk bars even "rounder"... f*ckers.

[Jah Womble]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

(Forget it - going quietly mad here.)

[Bored Of Education]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

WOM wrote: Pfft. Sit down...have a read....it'll start and stop eventually.

It's what Tetris on the I-phone was invented for. I sometimes forget to go.

[Ginger Yellow]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Speaking of tax policy, Gideon has just appointed Angela Knight head of the "Office of Tax Simplification". That'll be Angela Knight, former head of the British Bankers Association and current chief lobbyist for the energy industry.

[Ginger Yellow]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

More tax policy! Stop me if it's getting too exciting.

Yahoo is no longer going to spin off its Alibaba stake, which is worth far more than Yahoo itself and would probably create a huge capital gains liability. Instead, it's going to spin off everything other than Alibaba. Don't ask me why that makes any difference.

[Vulgarian Visigoth]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

You suck chocolate? What a bunch of fucking weirdos. What are you, in the oral stage or something?

[Jesus]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

What do you do? Grind it down and sniff it like cocaine?

[treibeis]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Jesus wrote: What do you do? Grind it down and sniff it like cocaine?

I'd wager that he crunches/chews it. Like most people with teeth do.

[Jah Womble]

You don't chew chocolate, you oddball

Jesus wrote:

What do you do? Grind it down and sniff it like cocaine?

I'm guessing that you divide up a single bar of Whole Nut thereby feeding most of Basingstoke.