I have a hiccup since yesterday

[Jesus]

I have the perfect cure for hiccup, which I will not go into now as I can't be arsed and maybe I will patent it. It simply does not work right now, my patent.

Hiccup is an evidence that God is evil. No one needs hiccup. It's bullshit.

Now I don't know. Should I be pissed off or go for the world record? I think the man to beat had this crap for years so there's an enormous dedication necessary to beat him.

[Vulgarian Visigoth]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

You're being sacrilegious against your Father.

[Stumpy Pepys]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

You should consider digital rectal massage.

However, make sure you enlist a qualified medical professional. Some people will just do it for the lulz.

[EIM]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Lime wedge with a couple of drops of bitters on.

[Stumpy Pepys]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

I imagined morphine would do the trick, but it would appear it's more likely to cause hiccups than cure them.

Back to the DRM then.

[Toby Gymshorts]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

I'm so hipster I prefer analogue rectal massage.

[WOM]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Vinyl rectal massage is making a comeback.

[Jesus]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Vulgarian Visigoth wrote: You're being sacrilegious against your Father.

Fuck him. He owes me a bag-in-box Chilean wine.

[Mumpo]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Stumpy Pepys wrote: You should consider digital rectal massage.

Links you don't want to click at work.

Sure-fire cure: breathe in. Right in. Further. Right in until you go dizzy. More. That's it. Now hold that for about thirty seconds.

...

...

...

...aaaaand release.

Gone.

[Mumpo]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

The hiccups, that is.

[Stumpy Pepys]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Mumpo wrote:

You should consider digital rectal massage.

Links you don't want to click at work.

I wouldn't do that to you all. It's a link to a New Scientist article.

[Jesus]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

I still have the bastard.

It will not go away!

[treibeis]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Jesus wrote: I still have the bastard.

It will not go away!

You'd better put that big, cold key down your back now. In a few months' time, it'll no longer be possible.

[Jesus]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Mumpo wrote:

You should consider digital rectal massage.

Links you don't want to click at work.

Sure-fire cure: breathe in. Right in. Further. Right in until you go dizzy. More. That's it. Now hold that for about thirty seconds.

...

...

...

...aaaaand release.

Gone.

I do the big deep in, then exhale slowly in a grunty kind of way, I make a sound like I'm trying to release the biggest shit the world has seen this side of the dinosaurs. It always works.

Not today.

It works for a few minutes, then it's back.

[MsD]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

WOM wrote: Vinyl rectal massage is making a comeback.

It never went away in some quarters.

[MsD]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

What works, but at a price, is for someone to embarrass you by mentioning something you've done that you had no idea they knew.

It does get rid of the hiccups, but moves your relationship on, as they say.

[treibeis]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

WOM wrote: Vinyl rectal massage is making a comeback.

Is that one of Bored's old groups?

[Jah Womble]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Jesus wrote:

You're being sacrilegious against your Father.

Fuck him. He owes me a bag-in-box Chilean wine.

Just buy one of those giant bottles of mineral water and get him to work his magic.

WOM wrote:

Vinyl rectal massage is making a comeback.

Only among hipster assholes.

[Guy Profumo]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

Jesus wrote: I still have the bastard.

It will not go away!

Can you not heal yourself?

[Bored Of Education]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

treibeis wrote:

Vinyl rectal massage is making a comeback.

Is that one of Bored's old groups?

Hm, you say that but I am having an MRI tomorrow to see if I need one.

[San Bernardhinault]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

EIM is correct. Bitter or bitters. Down a shot of Campari or Fernet Branca and your hiccups will probably be gone.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

The Fininvesta Group and all its subsidiaries including Milan have just been shut down by the Italian tax authorities, and all its accounts and business dealings suspended pending criminal proceedings.

...

[Balderdasha]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

I used to have a million different cures for hiccups and I used to get really stressed about trying to get rid of them. Then I met my husband, and he pointed out that the anxiety / stress was way worse than the hiccups and suggested that I just try not being bothered about if they went away or not. I thought he was talking utter nonsense at first and that I'd never be able to not care if I had hiccups, but I started trying it and it's got easier over time and it means these days I hardly ever get hiccups and when I do I ignore them, don't do anything about them and they go away really quickly.

I'm not sure if I'm explaining it very well, but for me at least, it seems as if persistent hiccups was an anxiety-related symptom and the key to solving it was in my head. The fact my husband managed to effectively remove it from my life as an issue is one if the many reasons I love him.

[Vulgarian Visigoth]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

San Bernardhinault wrote: EIM is correct. Bitter or bitters. Down a shot of Campari or Fernet Branca and your hiccups will probably be gone.

Hmmmmm, Campari...

[Stumpy Pepys]

I have a hiccup since yesterday

What is this Campari of which you speak?