Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

    You have all seen those Facebook links to sites which give you tweaks in daily life and such.

    "You have been doing this wrong"
    "You have been doing that wrong"

    I got one today. "You’ve Been Drinking Coffee Wrong This Whole Time"

    I didn't even read it because I have been drinking coffee right my entire life, which is not very often at all.

    But if I do drink it, I'll drink it just the way I want, thank you. If I enjoy it, I enjoy it.

    Now, it doesn't mean I'm a stubborn bastard who won't hear someone else out on suggestions.

    I guess I'm in a bit of a conundrum here.

    On one hand, I feel like it's a sod off moment when someone wants to lecture me how to eat or drink something.

    On the other hand I can appreciate someone explaining how a certain Weissbier should be poured in the glass, for me to get most out of the flavor.

    I guess it depends on who is advicing and how. A link on Facebook isn't my cup of tea.

    #2
    Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

    Hello!

    Comment


      #3
      Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

      Coffee is for twats.

      Comment


        #4
        Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

        Like!

        Comment


          #5
          Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

          I'm having coffee right now.

          Comment


            #6
            Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

            Quite!

            Comment


              #7
              Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

              I drink tea as well, you know.

              Comment


                #8
                Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                As much as I enjoy coffee I loathe the palaver of queuing for ages while some oik bangs and crashes their way around a variety of gurgling apparatus before presenting you with an overpriced hot drink that takes just a few seconds to consume.

                And throughout your stay in the coffee shop you sit within earshot of more incessant crashing, banging and gurgling as further overpriced drinks are being prepared.

                It's a nonsense.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                  If only they'd confine themselves to shovelling money into Starbuck's offshore bank account it wouldn't be so bad. But they've spread to pubs, now.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                    I'm a barman (some of the time), and I've had barista training in the past as well. It is all pretty much a load of toss.

                    Guinness and their perfect pour shite can piss off an all.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                      You must be happy when a dedicated Stella drinker walks in.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                        Coffee is great. Tea is rubbish.

                        I fear that the "You're doing it all wrong" coffee thing that Jesus is referring to is probably that "bulletproof" coffee with butter in it. Which is utter madness in all kinds of ways.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                          WOM wrote: You must be happy when a dedicated Stella drinker walks in.
                          Why?

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                            Oh, that whole 9-step pour nonsense, with the knife or sword or whatever at the end.

                            Hang on, where's hobbes....?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                              WOM wrote: Oh, that whole 9-step pour nonsense, with the knife or sword or whatever at the end.

                              Hang on, where's hobbes....?
                              Ah, right. We don't serve Stella as it happens, but I don't think that's particularly common in the UK anyway. Stella's not a 'premium' brand really, although it does try to give that impression.

                              Comment


                                #16
                                Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                Why are we debating obvious clickbait?

                                Comment


                                  #17
                                  Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                  Gawpus, Anheuser-Busch InBev (which owns Stella) has been engaged in an expensive campaign in North America for the last year or so to position what had been a rather unknown brand over here as "premium", and (in their more fevered moments) a prime example of the Belgian brewers' art.

                                  The rubes are falling for it, too.

                                  This is the 9 Step Process WOM noted.

                                  Comment


                                    #18
                                    Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                    Can't speak for WOM, but I'm just passing the time while my baked potato is in the oven...

                                    Comment


                                      #19
                                      Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                      Lawyers FURIOUS that househusbands found out this SIMPLE, FREE remedy.

                                      Comment


                                        #20
                                        Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                        Gawpus wrote: Can't speak for WOM, but I'm just passing the time while my baked potato is in the oven...
                                        You, sir, are no Allain Schaiko.

                                        Comment


                                          #21
                                          Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                          WOM wrote:
                                          You, sir, are no Allain Schaiko.
                                          To my great shame.

                                          That video is hilarious, mind. I'd get my arse handed to me if I tried to serve a pint with that much head on it, perfect pour or no.

                                          Comment


                                            #22
                                            Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                            Indeed. I don't know what it's like in other parts of Germany, but if any barman/barmaid pulled a pint like that here, even in the scabbiest boozer where all the guests were so drunk that they'd pissed themselves and forgotten their children's names, they'd get a stern talking-to.

                                            It's not the head so much as the beer dribbling down the side of the glass. You can get away with that if you're pouring champagne into a pyramid at a wedding reception, but not with any other drinks.

                                            Comment


                                              #23
                                              Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                              Baristi, Christ, baristi.

                                              You've been doing that wrong.

                                              Comment


                                                #24
                                                Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                                Gawpus wrote: Guinness and their perfect pour shite can piss off an all.
                                                It's nearly 20 years since I worked as a barman, and I still remember how to do it. It's piss-easy. You just fill the glass up to about the five-sixths mark, wait 90-120 seconds, then finish it off.

                                                Comment


                                                  #25
                                                  Do we have any bartenders or barista here?

                                                  Green Calx wrote:
                                                  Originally posted by Gawpus
                                                  Guinness and their perfect pour shite can piss off an all.
                                                  It's nearly 20 years since I worked as a barman, and I still remember how to do it. It's piss-easy. You just fill the glass up to about the five-sixths mark, wait 90-120 seconds, then finish it off.
                                                  I hate bartenders because it takes much more time than that for them to notice me. They always have a damn pal they're chatting away with over cricket or rugby or other bullshit.

                                                  Bartenders should be stood as if in the military, never socialize as if part of their job is to be pals or the encyclopedia dramatica of the day. That tap should be like the rifle in Full metal jacket.
                                                  "This is my rifle, this my gun.
                                                  This is for firing, this is for fun"

                                                  A bartender should never let go of that tap-handle unless he is serving a pint. When not, he should be stood there wanking it glamorously, head moving left-to-right as if he’s on an assassin's recon for Hitler.
                                                  Not be Dr. Phil or chat about sport.

                                                  I particularly hate bartenders in a slow pub, where there are only three people. Me and his or her two "mates"

                                                  I went for a pint yestereve. Two schmucks sat afront the bar. The bartender sported a hipster beard and worked in shorts. It's November and we're not in Miami or Tahiti. I should have left right there and then.

                                                  I ordered my first Guinness. Fine.
                                                  20% left in the glass I ordered my second. It took the bartender 15 minutes to remember I had ordered, because the arse was way too busy sharing crap with those other two, and running after the young girl working the tables, like he was a puppy on dope and she was his fix.

                                                  99% of bartenders are not tenders at all. They do sod all.

                                                  My "favorite" bartender is the one who looks down at the floor constantly.

                                                  You're stood half an inch from my face, I just walked in, I want to order, but you stare down the floor while talking to some other bartender five feet away from you about a customer complaining over a dirty fork yesterday. And you didn't even serve him. It was that lass you're chasing who went through the ordeal.

                                                  Rant is over.

                                                  Comment

                                                  Working...
                                                  X