This is such a great time to be here

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

I’m helping out my mate who owns a pub this month.* You’re all welcome. I’ll pay for everything you muster to drink, as long as it’s tomorrow or the next couple of days.

I’m working behind the bar so for 30 days I’ll be a less gifted version of EIM in regards not only pouring a pint but pretty much everything else. Except cocking tabs up. I’ll be much more gifted in that aspect.

Anyway, the hours are pub hours so now I’m unwinding and I feel like I own this place OTF. There’s no one else around. It’s like I’ve been left at that very pub above with keys and all, and can do whatever I please. Down a whole bottle of Absolute Vodka. Talk any old invented bull behind your back.

Maybe EIM will pop in. He usually does at 4-ish to mention a new kebab he invented or why ducks and owls should shag forth a new breed. But apart from that. I can do anything. It’s my house!

* He doesn’t own it this month only. He owns it all the time but I’m.... nevermind.

[EIM]

This is such a great time to be here

I start a new bar job tomorrow, as it goes. Just part time as I try to find a way out of this fucking industry.

Also ducks and owls mating would be hideous.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

This is such a great time to be here

I wish you luck, man.

I'll tell you one thing. You know that shit question "what would you do if you won the 20 million jackpot?".
I don't need anything in my life. I've over the years learned (or is this where you say "learnt"? Never used learnt in my life) to live on basics. Punishing OTF with my presence, able to watch Milan's every game, having a computer I can write that other stuff. That's all the luxury I need. If I won, I'd give you a tenth.

To make of your life what I know you can become. It's shit being stuck in a loop. It takes guts and other crap not so easy to just do, to do it.

I'm sorry if that sounded overly fatherly and pukey.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

This is such a great time to be here

Now I feel lonely. I almost wish I had lice so I had at least some company on this OTF and the night.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

This is such a great time to be here

First of all, who drinks Scotch when there's Macallan?
Then, water? Are you drinking or half-arsedly brushing your teeth?

[Elvis Wilbury takes a turn]

This is such a great time to be here

A wee drop of water brings out the Scotch very nicely. If it was good enough for Frank, it's good enough for me. That man knew how to live.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

This is such a great time to be here

I'm just pissing on your tram ride, butchering your kebab, nailing your pet with vegan nails to a wall.

I'm going to hit the bed now. Think it's time. Take care, man. Keep on being brilliant.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

This is such a great time to be here

Toro toro's normally around at 3 in the morning. He's an insomniac. God knows how he manages to cycle to work at 8.