So you thought you'd like to save the world

[DCI Harry Batt]

Decided to stage a jumble sale...

Do you have rednosedaynightmares at your place of work? They could get lost in "office annoyances", so share them here, why not?

https://[video=youtube_share;0aJ4HzV...ature=youtu.be[/video]

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

I do one of those "guess the number of ..." ones.

Mine is "guess the number of people being sponsored to do something zany or generally just rattling a collection tin who've put fuck all in the tin themselves".

[Guy Profumo]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

I'm conflicted:

I can't decide between "Everyone else is doing this for free, but I'm taking a 7 grand fee", or "everybody else - send money to cover for that fact as a multi-millionaire who is avoiding paying tax on his income, this shortfall needs to be made up by charitable donations"

[Vulgarian Visigoth]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Why do people need sponsorship to run a 10K? Trainers are not that expensive...

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

The very first John Bishop film from Kenya had me. Some bloke burying his own kids in his back garden from malaria.

Bloody hell.

03457 910 910. Took about three minutes to donate.

[DCI Harry Batt]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

30 years, is it, they've been doing this? Lenny Henry hopes they carry on going for many years to come.

Seems odd.

[Bored Of Education]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

You lot can fuck off. No uniform Comic Relief day means 29 over-excitable kids that I have to try and fucking teach something. I tried the "show them the video of the poor Africans and tell them how lucky they are to have an education" and it did no good especially after the cake sale Mothers' Day card-making hysteria.

If that wasn't bad enough, I am in a Catholic school and next Tuesday is St Paddy's Day. They tell you in education that every minute counts and you end up with days written off.

Those African teachers don't know how lucky they are not to have Comic Relief. Not only that but they still have old fashioned blackboards that don't need rebooting.

[DCI Harry Batt]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Lazy git! At least change the odd word here and there!

[Janik]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Oh, thats why the kids at the local school were all wearing jeans and trainers today. I did wonder what caused that.
Not that I was bothered by it, I hasten to add. I would be completely in favour of the general scrapping of school uniforms.

[DCI Harry Batt]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Yes, school uniform is WRONG.

[Benjm]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

The cashier in Robert Dyas asked me if I would like to buy a Comic Relief pen with my lightbulbs the other day.

'No. I do sodding not!' I shouted, before kicking over a pile of discounted sandwich toasters and storming out of the shop. If I want to give something back, I will do so under the terms of the community service order that I subsequently received in relation to the incident.

[DCI Harry Batt]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Shops telling customers to donate. FUCK OFF.

[Bored Of Education]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

TonTon wrote: Lazy git! At least change the odd word here and there!

I am surprised you haven't noticed before. I do it all the time.

[Jah Womble]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Well, to be fair, shops 'ask' whether you want to donate, rather than 'tell' you to do so.

Celebs on the TV are the ones who do that. Rather than ladle guilt trip after guilt trip upon those who can't afford it, why not take a smaller cut for your terrible series and donate the remainder, pompous assh*le.

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

If you wish to avoid Red Nose Day next year, I recommend moving to an African country - the poorer the better.

[EIM]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote: The very first John Bishop film from Kenya had me. Some bloke burying his own kids in his back garden from malaria.

Bloody hell.

03457 910 910. Took about three minutes to donate.

Poor fucker. If things aren't bad enough for him, we fucking send John Bishop round to mither him after he's just buried his own kids. Can't help thinking that as a European colonial power, we really should be sending these African nations we fucked up something more a tad more considerable than a painfully unfunny wool comic or two.

[Gerontophile]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

We had a red nose in the window, which had been beautifully sliced in half.

I work for a catering equipment company. (We made 15 quid, and we didn't even ask.)

[DCI Harry Batt]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

Vicarious Thrillseeker wrote: If you wish to avoid Red Nose Day next year, I recommend moving to an African country - the poorer the better.

Pretty much did ok ignoring it here, thanks all the same. Good idea though.

[Felicity, I guess so]

So you thought you'd like to save the world

I do love that Housemartins song, though, and have found myself on occasion singing 'fah the pah, fah the pah' (for the poor) in Heaton's singing voice in reaction to some charidee excess or other.

Comic Relief is rag week for grown ups, really.