Today is truly a great day. And not just because it's my birthday.
My ex-wife and I split up about five and a half years ago, when I was still living in Montreal. She took the kids and headed to Toronto - can't blame her, really. But since I was damned if I was going to be an absentee father (I've got enough issues with my own father over that one), I soon quit my steady job and made my way to Toronto, too.
I work in the field of public policy. Here in the NPS, we don't have a lot of "think tanks" and independent foundations. Most everyone who works in Public Policy has to work in government, in academia, or in one of the NGOs in Ottawa. This is a problem for me. I don't work in government because I have a low bullshit tolerance. I don't work in academia because I have a low boredom tolerance (the continuing lack of a completed doctorate is a bit problematic, too). And I don't work at one of the Ottawa NGOs, partly because I've been there and done that but partly because Ottawa is a festering canker sore of a city which is high on my list of places I'd be happy to see swallowed up in a fiery cataclysm.
With shitty alternatives on all sides, I started my own business. Policy research and consulting, mostly, although we put out a lot of free publications and do some pro bono work, too. I share a name and some resources with a partner in the US, but the Canadian office has always been my business, my risk.
Unless you've a particularly obsessive personality, I don't recommend starting a business. It's harrowing. Having a payroll is terrifying. Constantly wondering if you've got enough money to pay your employees is harrowing. Constantly worrying if you've got enough people (and the *right* people) to do the job is even worse. Loads and loads of sleepless nights from work and worry.
Anyways, as we took on more and more work, I took on more and more employees. But since revenues always lag the work, I was always having to borrow money to keep the whole thing moving. A major fuck-up on a project about two years ago set me back 70K. At its worst, I had about 120K in debt – much of it on credit cards - and was juggling creditors back and forth.
I've never really been in debt before, and I found it a totally nauseating experience. Panic would set in whenever I left myself even a moment's peace. There were times when I thought I'd never get out of debt. Sometimes, I wanted to get out of the business entirely, but I couldn’t face the thought of shutting the doors and putting my employees out of work, either.
Anyways, for the past few months, things have been getting better. Sure, I'm still overloaded with work and getting up at 3AM all the time, but I've been able to start paying myself some of the salary I had to defer when times weren't very good. As a result, as of today, both my company and me personally are completely out of debt for the first time in five years.
I feel fucking fabulous. Even if I'm not crazy about being 38, I feel a totally new man.
My ex-wife and I split up about five and a half years ago, when I was still living in Montreal. She took the kids and headed to Toronto - can't blame her, really. But since I was damned if I was going to be an absentee father (I've got enough issues with my own father over that one), I soon quit my steady job and made my way to Toronto, too.
I work in the field of public policy. Here in the NPS, we don't have a lot of "think tanks" and independent foundations. Most everyone who works in Public Policy has to work in government, in academia, or in one of the NGOs in Ottawa. This is a problem for me. I don't work in government because I have a low bullshit tolerance. I don't work in academia because I have a low boredom tolerance (the continuing lack of a completed doctorate is a bit problematic, too). And I don't work at one of the Ottawa NGOs, partly because I've been there and done that but partly because Ottawa is a festering canker sore of a city which is high on my list of places I'd be happy to see swallowed up in a fiery cataclysm.
With shitty alternatives on all sides, I started my own business. Policy research and consulting, mostly, although we put out a lot of free publications and do some pro bono work, too. I share a name and some resources with a partner in the US, but the Canadian office has always been my business, my risk.
Unless you've a particularly obsessive personality, I don't recommend starting a business. It's harrowing. Having a payroll is terrifying. Constantly wondering if you've got enough money to pay your employees is harrowing. Constantly worrying if you've got enough people (and the *right* people) to do the job is even worse. Loads and loads of sleepless nights from work and worry.
Anyways, as we took on more and more work, I took on more and more employees. But since revenues always lag the work, I was always having to borrow money to keep the whole thing moving. A major fuck-up on a project about two years ago set me back 70K. At its worst, I had about 120K in debt – much of it on credit cards - and was juggling creditors back and forth.
I've never really been in debt before, and I found it a totally nauseating experience. Panic would set in whenever I left myself even a moment's peace. There were times when I thought I'd never get out of debt. Sometimes, I wanted to get out of the business entirely, but I couldn’t face the thought of shutting the doors and putting my employees out of work, either.
Anyways, for the past few months, things have been getting better. Sure, I'm still overloaded with work and getting up at 3AM all the time, but I've been able to start paying myself some of the salary I had to defer when times weren't very good. As a result, as of today, both my company and me personally are completely out of debt for the first time in five years.
I feel fucking fabulous. Even if I'm not crazy about being 38, I feel a totally new man.
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