Sporting equivalents of courting dynamics

[anton pulisov]

Surely we haven't "done this before"?

I'll start with Scenario 1.
Many people stand at the edge of a bar/nightclub holding a glass of beer at starting at their shoes. I actually have the balls/moves to go on to a dancefloor by myself and talk to people. However, within five to ten minutes of me doing this, one of my friends comes and stands next to me, and says, "wow Bryan, this is really great music", proceeds to ignore me and then usually tries to do some shameless move on a lady dancing near me.

Sporting equivalent
The sporting equivalent of this situation would be a two man breakaway in the Tour de France, with one guy being a pain in the ass and constantly draughting. And possibly crossing the finish line first.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Sporting equivalents of courting dynamics

Scenario 2

The attractive young woman who thinks she's fallen in love with the cerebral father figure in her life (teacher, professor, boss at work). She uses her charms to woo him, and he is obviously flattered, but it soon becomes clear to both them that there is no future in it - he will never be able to change her from the scatty fun-loving partygoer into the intellectual partner he really desires, and she soon discovers that the very things she thought she found attractive - the promise of interesting conversation, of learning, of travel - she finds excruciatingly boring and dull.

Sporting equivalent

Liverpool appointing Roy Hodgson as manager (see also Scenario 3 , "the disastrous affair with an old flame from a decade ago").

[beak]

Sporting equivalents of courting dynamics

Scenario 3

After some misapprehension and missed opportunities, including spending a long time going through personal and financial issues, you finally get the partner you've always wanted (and who has always wanted you). But what's this? It's now five years down the line and you're miserable as fuck and sick of being twisted around the little of finger of your supposed beloved's ego; unfortunately a lack of long-term planning has left you bereft of ideas as to how to extricate yourself from what is rapidly becoming an abusive relationship.

Sporting equivalent

The last eighteen months of Alan Shearer's career.

[Keyzer]

Sporting equivalents of courting dynamics

Scenario 4

After a string of dour relationships the latest of which, a three year affair with her who used to knock around with your rival at work, has left you demoralised about ever falling in love again, the stunner who you spent your halcyon summer days with back when you were both 18 inter-railing around Europe getting pissed and fucking each other senseless arrives back in town. But after a few months you realise she's not what you thought. She has some extremely dodgy religious views for a start and she insists on blaming you for everything that goes wrong, every little problem. When disillusioned you break it off she blandly insists that 'no one could have done more to save the relationship than me'.

Sporting Equivalent

Glenn Hoddle at Spurs.