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Sentences never uttered before

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    Sentences never uttered before

    I've been meaning to start a thread like this for ages. Every so often I find myself saying a sentence and being certain that I've never said that sentence before, and possibly no other human has either. It seems to happen more frequently now that I have children due to the level of chaos they inject into my life.

    Anyway, today's never before uttered sentence is:

    "Who left fennel and watermelon slices on top of the piano?"
    ​​​​​

    #2
    When our son was about 4, he said "Wir mussen warten hasta que the green man comes [referring to lights at zebra crossings]".

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      #3
      "My daughter's driving my wife to Asda."

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        #4
        "I was only driving in order to test my eyesight" must still be a 2020 award nominee for implausibility.

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          #5
          This will be the favourite Spurs title win of my lifetime

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            #6
            I've just ordered a Christmas hamper from a cornershop in Gozo to be delivered to my Dad, who has emigrated there.

            This might not actually be the first time that's ever been uttered. I get the impression there are a lot of British ex-pats in Malta.
            Last edited by Rogin the Armchair fan; 05-12-2020, 13:58.

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              #7
              The kids are excelling themselves today. I have a new sentence to add: "Why is there a box of blueberry wheats in your bed?"

              (The answer was "I like them". Regular readers will be unsurprised to discover that the culprit was my son).

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                #8
                This went up on my Facebook feed:

                My son: "Is that beer?"
                Me: "Yes"
                My son: "Almost everything in this house is alcohol."

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                  #9
                  "Hello, friend, I'm soon going to eat your eyeball."

                  5-year-old towerlet addressing her slice of cheese on toast adorned by a ketchup smiley.

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                    #10
                    A former otfer, and nephew upon having one of his last nappies changed by my sister: "you won't find any poo in there".

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                      #11
                      A few years ago, I had cause to ask a virtual stranger "Have you moved all the bodies?" and, while that's a sentence that probably has been uttered before, I certainly wasn't expecting to utter it that day or any day.

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                        #12
                        Ms Felicity being asked "Are you one of the police officers?" when she went for her jab

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                          #13


                          This should jump automatically to 2mins 11secs in. If it doesn't, do so manually (though the entire sketch is worth a watch).

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                            #14
                            "Have you seen these pictures of the Tenby Walrus?"

                            - me, earlier, to Mrs Thistle

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