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    #1

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    I learned two things today about London: traffic is bloody awful (90 minutes on Friday evening on a bus for a 15 minute journey) and I am reasonably happy I left.

    I digress.

    I have the option of a flat in Rotterdam. And if anyone knows anything about me, they will know that I am scared. There is a job (unnattached)

    I have the option of about 3 months before I MUST speak Nederlands. I have a SoFi nummer but I cant remember it (anyone in Nederlands can please give me a shout... I am registered in Rotterdam... how do I go about finding it?))

    I have a wonderful job here, and it turns out that I have a nice person, who might be a nice partner. I REALLY like Holland... I also (now) really like my friend.

    Thats about it really. If I stay in Bournemouth, I will fall apart. My friend has a passport. We (I wont lie, HE) has two dogs, ergo, he wont come.

    Is there anything I might mention that will make him manoeuvre?

    If I were to be selfish, I would jump at this. I am not selfish. Bugger.
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    #2
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    What's a SoFi number?

    You have to do what you want to do, and your friend has to do what he wants to do. If those two things are different, and neither are willing to compromise, then maybe it's time to part ways. You can always remain friends, but you have to put your own happiness first. Selfish, maybe, but if you don't, you'll only end up feeling resentful later on.

    Of course a new situation is scary--that's what makes it so exciting. Take the plunge, and if it doesn't work out, you go somewhere else, wiser for the experience.

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      #3
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      thanks FF (M)... I know you are correct, but... its like a memory that comes and bites you on the arse. Everything, right now, is unexpected. My friend here, will not budge, so the future is obvious, but...

      (SoFi number is a Dutch social security number.... so you get to pay tax)

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        #4
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        I thought this thread was about Black Scholes and we were having a finance frenzy on here.

        As for the solution - I don't know. I have sacrificed quite a bit over time of things I want, don't want, relationships maintained and not, all to be where I am right now. I guess you just have to weigh things up. I would get the Holland stuff sorted in case you do want to go.

        I mean, I have ended up in New York, plan to stay here and though looking at a career I want keep getting sorely tempted by jealousy towards Amor for doing a PhD.

        But then again, I am appalling at planning things out (well - not that, but I am very much a Just In Time delivery system), as anyone I know will tell you.

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          #5
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          I think it's good to be spontaneous. None of us really knows what will happen to us tomorrow, and sometimes taking a risk turns out to be the best thing we ever did. But you don't know that until you do it. Planning is overrated.

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            #6
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            I'd say move. Keep your friendship, it is not exactly a great distance to keep a friendship over. You can then make more choices based on how things go once you move.

            Your friend might decide to move, you might hate it and want to move back, that way you leave your options open, but not moving will always leave you wondering.

            I moved half way across the world knowing no one, leaving many behind. I love it, no regrets.

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              #7
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              Wendy, if that is the only post you ever make, it is a belter. And of course, you're right.

              This morning, the decision isnt so hard to make. and BOFB is actually warming to it (TOO MUCH INFORMATION ALERT), as he will get to sleep with a pillow.

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                #8
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                Decision made... all sorted. I havent gone, and probably wont, but I am (as Wendy suggested) not burning my bridges.

                I have about a month in Rotterdam before I make my decision, and then I will follow my head, and not the other pulsing thing in my body (yes, my heart, you filthbags.)

                I have an option which gives me the lease for 6 months, so I am fine. If I have any persuauive qualities, and I do, I will know if its all ok by then.

                I would like to leave B'mouth. I have always fucking hated it. When your face doesnt fit in a small town, you are stuffed, and not in a good way.

                I have arranged for my dogs to have pasports and they are a bastard to come by. Especially as one has a pedigree I didnt know about (Parson Russell, fact fans) and is the stepdaughter of a Crufts champion who may or may not wish her to leave the country. The fact that Peggiy was a stray teaches me more about the owners than about the dog (who is clinically insane by any standard).

                Fuck it... its a nice dilemma. And my mate is backing me up, big time. (No comment!)

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