Worst corporate buzzword competition?

[Sits]

They are pretty old, aren't they? Or have I just drunk the Flavor Aid?

Not as old as me I guess. I think I was one of the last Financial Directors to “rebrand” as a CFO. And I was quite a long time, seeing all these Business Analysts popping up all over the place, before I realised nobody gets called an Accountant any more.

[sw2borshch]

Revenue Accountants are quite attached to the term.

[WOM]

We briefed a new team last week, and this was one of the first lines of the brief: The Audience [who you're communicating to]

"Engaged CDJRF Owners (MY2010 – 2020) & CDJRF HRs since Jan 2019"

It means 'Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Ram and Fiat owners (of vehicles from model years 2010 to 2020) who are actively looking for a new vehicle & Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Ram and Fiat owners who have raised their hand (HR) to indicate they are considering a new vehicle since January 2019'.

That's on page 1 of an 8 page brief.

[ursus arctos]

Of course, my immediate reaction is that it would be much clearer to use FCA

But it is all about the Marques, innit?

[WOM]

It is. And beyond the cash cows Ram and Jeep, there's little beyond a token efforts to push the others. Fiat who? Oddly, we give a Alfa a surprising amount of effort.

[sw2borshch]

Ah, the concept of 'our offer'. That's one.

[caja-dglh]

It is. And beyond the cash cows Ram and Jeep, there's little beyond a token efforts to push the others. Fiat who? Oddly, we give a Alfa a surprising amount of effort.

That would be because the Alfa new models are beautiful (ok, the SUV is weird but acceptable) and they are pitching into the Maserati dealerships. I would still like a Giulia, which are coming off lease at some great prices (much like every car right now though).

[ad hoc]

WOM: I think this makes caja-dglh an HR. You need to get on that.

[caja-dglh]

I don't think my off-lease scavenging is what they are after, though I could be wrong. The weird one in that group is the cash-cow, the Jeep Wrangler. Every single person I know who has one tells you they are absolute misery to drive in. Yet they have a resistant resale value and they never get rid of them.

[ursus arctos]

Alfa in North America has been to generations of FCA management what the white whale was to Ahab

[WOM]

My partner on the FCA business is an Alfisti, born and raised in Italy. He cruises the certified pre-owned selection on an almost daily basis looking for a sweet Giulia.

Wrangler is a bit bonkers, tbh. Hot in the summer...cold in the winter...rusty over 4 years old....but yeah, people are crazy loyal to them.

Now to scout around for a CPO Dodge Nitro for ah....

[Hot Pepsi]

From my work email last week:

"We can include product name and claim. Why not lean into our point-of-difference:"

By this, she meant 'why not leverage', which is that our client's dog worm pill treats five worms rather than just four, which the competitor's does.

And before you ask 'then why didn't she just use 'leverage' when she meant 'leverage' ?', I say shame on you sir. You clearly have a weak grasp of office bullshittery.

Or better yet, “emphasize our product’s advantages over the competition.”

[Hot Pepsi]

We briefed a new team last week, and this was one of the first lines of the brief: The Audience [who you're communicating to]

"Engaged CDJRF Owners (MY2010 – 2020) & CDJRF HRs since Jan 2019"

It means 'Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Ram and Fiat owners (of vehicles from model years 2010 to 2020) who are actively looking for a new vehicle & Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Ram and Fiat owners who have raised their hand (HR) to indicate they are considering a new vehicle since January 2019'.

That's on page 1 of an 8 page brief.

What am I missing here? Surely Fiats appeal to a very different kind of driver than the others on that list.

Is Chrysler still a consumer-facing brand? What do they sell?

[Hot Pepsi]

My jargon loving boss will say things like 'Really lean in to the insight' or 'lean in to the strategy.' This means 'be sure you make it obvious that you read the brief'.

In that situation, we used to like to say “really explore the studio space, Gene.” But older and younger people might not get that reference.

[Eggchaser]

HM Revenue & Customs has started referring to those of us who deal with them on a regular basis as "customers". What the fuck are we buying?

As a snobby solicitor, I utterly deplore attempts by our regulatory body to rebrand my clients as customers, too. I'll be done consulting before I work in the Private Customer Department in my firm.

[WOM]

What am I missing here? Surely Fiats appeal to a very different kind of driver than the others on that list.

You're missing the fact that they'll take any warm lead as a potential pickup truck sale.

Is Chrysler still a consumer-facing brand? What do they sell?

Believe it or not, just the Pacifica minivan and the 300 gangster sedan.

[Amor de Cosmos]

I do kind of admire the Dick Tracy cartoonishness of the 300. Is it actually any good?

[WOM]

I do kind of admire the Dick Tracy cartoonishness of the 300. Is it actually any good?

It is big and luxe and comfy. And yes, I love the design. But I wouldn't be looking for Camry-level reliability or resale value.

[Hot Pepsi]

You're missing the fact that they'll take any warm lead as a potential pickup truck sale.



Believe it or not, just the Pacifica minivan and the 300 gangster sedan.

I thought they’d given up on the 300 and I thought Pacifica was Dodge.

I see that they discontinued the Caravan in favor of the Voyager, which will be branded Chrysler. Is that right? Cheaper than a Pacifica, I guess.

My parents have had many Caravans since the first one we got in 1984 (to replace a the Country Squire station wagon) but now have a Toyota Sienna.

[DCI Harry Batt]

What is FCA?

[ursus arctos]

FIAT Chrysler Automobiles, the new holding company after the merger of the auto companies

[WOM]

I thought they’d given up on the 300 and I thought Pacifica was Dodge.

Nope and nope.

I see that they discontinued the Caravan in favor of the Voyager, which will be branded Chrysler. Is that right? Cheaper than a Pacifica, I guess.

Correct. My gut tells me that they'll be running the Grand Caravan factory overtime to fill as many parking lots with them as possible, so you'll be able to buy a new one for quite some time. It's an incredible value in a minivan. The new one is really pricey in comparison, even if they step it down a bit as the Voyager.

[caja-dglh]

I do kind of admire the Dick Tracy cartoonishness of the 300. Is it actually any good?

I got a 300 as a rental once. I felt like I was driving for the Ant Hill Mob. It was actually pretty nice, though I am sure after the amusement wore off I would be less impressed.

[sw2borshch]

HM Revenue & Customs has started referring to those of us who deal with them on a regular basis as "customers". What the fuck are we buying?

As a snobby solicitor, I utterly deplore attempts by our regulatory body to rebrand my clients as customers, too. I'll be done consulting before I work in the Private Customer Department in my firm.

Inland Revenue staff hated the phrase 'customers' twenty years ago when I started there.

To be fair to the Department, there doesn't need to be a purchase for there to be a customer relationship. People in all walks of life come across tough customers.
We still hated the phrase before our customers did and realised it antagonised them and was a manifestation of a poverty of ambition present in the Department's bosses, who thought being a business was somehow a higher aspiration than being a service.

Bloody Thatcher.

[Sits]

When we had two weeks in Boston in 1997 I rented a Dodge Caravan for a drive to Cape Cod. Even though it was basically a cheaper version of my mate’s Chrysler Voyager back in England, I enjoyed driving it. But then “people movers” were still a fairly new concept and I’d not driven one before. It just seemed cavernous.

Apart from catching a ferry at Falmouth to go to Martha’s, the only things I remember are an absolutely huge roundabout (“rotary”?) - the only one we encountered all day - and the kids being very excited when we stopped at Dunkin’ Donuts.