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    She’s very good I think

    https://twitter.com/sarahcpr/status/1262583362079936512?s=21

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      She's remarkable

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        [URL="https://twitter.com/Darren_Dutton/status/1263171840090025988"]https://twitter.com/Darren_Dutton/st...71840090025988[/URL]

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          Kids don't know how good they have it. When I hear all the people complaining about the nanochip implanted in the Covid vaccine, I think about when I was young and had to swallow a whole floppy disk with the polio vaccine.

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            Meanwhile, in Gondor:

            Beregond: My lord, the gates are sealed but the Orcs have the city surrounded. What are your orders?

            Denethor: Well, I’m glad we were guided by the facts. Our strategy was to take it on the chin and that was a complete success.

            Beregond: Um… we lost Osgiliath, the Pelennor Fields and your son Faramir is severely injured.

            Denethor: It was never the policy of this government that the people of Gondor had herd immunity to Orcs. The Osgiliath incident could not have been foreseen.

            Beregond: Erm… Mithrandir literally yelled at you that it wasn’t going to work. He had charts and everything. But anyway, what’s your order now? The guys at the trebuchets are sending messages up saying that they don’t have enough ammunition because of budget cuts.

            Denethor: We’ve been guided by the facts. And look at this list. We sent 100,000 items to the trebuchet crews.

            Beregond: Yes… but you’ve counted everything including spare feathers for their hats. That doesn’t help their ammunition situation. Anyway, what’s the plan now, my lord?

            Denethor: I think it’s time that we reopened. The death toll has gone down.

            Beregond: Dude! The death toll has gone down because we closed the gates, but we haven’t done anything about the million Orcs standing outside.

            Denethor: Our economy is in danger. The proles need to get back out into the fields. And anyway, we’ve done what everyone wanted, we locked the city down.

            Beregond: The lockdown was to halt the advance of the problem, not the solution to it. You send people out now, the Orcs will kill them!

            Prince Imrahil runs up.

            Imrahil: My Lord, the public are annoyed. They just found out that you were deliberately miscounting the deaths from the Osgiliath offensive. They’re not pleased that you decided everyone killed by an arrow wasn’t dying because of Orcs.

            Denethor: I’m getting married and having a baby!

            Imrahil and Beregond: WHAT?!

            Denethor: Yes, even though I’m known for my attention seeking I never revealed this until there was a politically awkward moment for me. The baby’s due in five months.

            Beregond: Congratulations I guess. To return to the issue at hand, the Orcs are still out there.

            Denethor: I need to disappear for 12 days to be with my son, he’s just been born.

            Beregond: Hang on, you just said it was due in five months!
            Imrahil: Plus, like, you’re not known for time spent with your sons…

            Denethor: Imrahil is my deputy, I’m going now.

            Imrahil: Er… okay, Beregond, let’s get extra troops to the walls and improvise some ammunition for those treb-

            Denethor (disappearing from public view): I’m still in charge, I’m the man.

            Imrahil: Do I have authority or not?

            Grima Wormcummings walks up.

            Grima: Right, get ready to open the city.

            Imrahil: DAFUQ mate? Who made you a decision maker around here?

            Grima: These orders do not come from me, they come from Lord Denethor. He signed them this morning. He’s busy with his son who nobody has seen despite the father being a shameless publicity whore.

            Imrahil: That’s some bullshit right there.

            Beregond: Guys, can we PLEASE try to pay attention to the fact that whilst we’re carrying on about reopening and economies and why Denethor keeps hiding from responsibility, the Orcs are actually still out there? Nothing has materially changed just because we don’t like the situation. Let’s face it, we weren’t ready and now we have to start treating this as a serious threat or we’re all up the Anduin without a paddle! If the Orcs burn the city down it won’t matter if the public think we did a bad job of it!

            Grima: Stop politicising a tragedy and stay alert!

            Beregond: Yeah, right. Maybe if you’d stayed alert instead of planning for purely short-term profit gains, we wouldn’t be here. I’m applying for a Rohan passport.

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              Outstanding. Did you write that yourself PT or is it from somewhere else?

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                https://twitter.com/Scientits/status/1264190320213921792?s=20

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                  Originally posted by Various Artist View Post
                  Outstanding. Did you write that yourself PT or is it from somewhere else?
                  Nope. Stolen from Facebook.

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                    Loved it. I may have to pass that one on, it's frighteningly well observed.

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                          [URL]https://twitter.com/prodnose/status/1264661960446169100[/URL]

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                              In similar vein

                              https://twitter.com/kerensd/status/1264889304746283008?s=21

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                                https://twitter.com/EddieRobson/status/1264962922176020480?s=20

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                                  https://twitter.com/BrianLynch/status/1263646078500343809

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                                      https://twitter.com/con_news/status/1265541579256868868/photo/1

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