Yesterday afternoon Lola, our border terrier, was put to sleep. She was 11 - a respectable but not a great age. For the last year she had been suffering with a neurological problem that affected the mobility of her rear right leg. For most of that time she got around fairly well on three good legs, using the bad one just for support when she was standing or toileting. More recently though the leg had become little more than a dangling appendage and an actual encumbrance. It was clear that things were getting worse. Two weeks ago she lost the use of her tail and we noticed that she was becoming increasingly incontinent. A visit to the vet confirmed what we already knew but also revealed that her rear left leg was beginning to show signs of similar deterioration. We weren't quire ready to face the inevitable but after a week of keeping her largely confined to the kitchen because of the constant urine dribbles and watching her struggle to keep her balance, we knew it was time to say goodbye.
The vet and his assistant were brilliant. Calm, professional and respectful, giving my wife and I time on our own with her as the injection took effect. We stroked Lola's head, and through the tears told her what a great dog she had been and how much we loved her. Afterwards my wife wrapped her in a blanket and we drove home in silence. We placed her in the grave that I had dug in the garden beneath the cherry tree that we planted 30 years ago when our son was born, my son filled in the soil, we cried a bit more and that was that.
This morning I'm missing Lola dreadfully. When I was feeding the hens and ducks earlier there was no little shadow trailing behind me and waiting to see if there was a cracked egg that she might be given. No companion on my walk to pick up the newspaper. An empty space in the corner where her bed was, and in the kitchen where her food and water bowl sat. No nudge of the leg to remind me that she was there when eating a biscuit with my early morning cuppa. It's ridiculous I know - there are a million worse things going on in the world, but the death of our little dog has affected me far more than I could have imagined.
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