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A wanderer's (slight) return

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    #51
    Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
    Mind you it doesn;t take long before British cynicism kicks in, on things like being asked "How are you, today?" Why today? You never saw me before, and you;re unlikely to ever see me again.
    Yes, sure. The current faux friendly phrase seems to be "And do you have any plans for this afternoon?" I always feel inadequate when I reply "Does mowing the lawn count?"

    Originally posted by Sporting View Post
    My sisters both worked in various retail jobs and were never less than polite and friendly. I think the surliness of UK shop staff can be way exaggerated.
    Of course it's a generalisation. Nevertheless all too often there's an impression that people would rather be doing almost anything else. Small, local shops are often better, but the only large British store that comes close to North American standards in my experience is John Lewis.


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      #52
      I think it;s overstated. I think in the UK (and indeed in much of Europe) the divide is rural / urban. People say hello and smile in villages. In cities they don;t. In the US, it is the same, except that in suburbia they do too(and much of the US is suburbia) (and never really having lived or spent any time in suburbia in the UK, I have no idea if that's true there)

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        #53
        I'm really happy for you, C. She's beautiful, San Francisco is the city I'd always chose to live in. You're an inspi2to a lot of us, I'm sure. Good luck. And buy an electric bike. It's perfect for SF.

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          #54
          Originally posted by ad hoc View Post
          People say hello and smile in villages. In cities they don;t. In the US, it is the same, except that in suburbia they do too(and much of the US is suburbia) (and never really having lived or spent any time in suburbia in the UK, I have no idea if that's true there)
          That's true. But I think when it comes to consumer transactions, rather than on the street friendliness, the difference is much more noticeable, in cities particularly. Large retail companies in North America don't get that way without making consumer service a priority. Doesn't matter whether they're banks or hardware stores.

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            #55
            I would say that those observations apply much more to Southern California than to Northern California, or even the Central Valley.

            The few people I know from the Inland Empire are all quite wonderful, but I've never spent enough time there to know if they are outliers.

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              #56
              How much does the prospect of a nice juicy tip influence US customer service?

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                #57
                Not a whole lot. You get super friendly staff in a Trader Joe's - who are owned by Aldi, you must remember - who often take a look at what you're buying and actually ask if you've tried it, or tell you how delicious it is and how excited they are by it. You don't ever tip someone on a till, yet they're friendly in the kind of way that's not just a trained "have a nice day" kind of phrase.

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                  #58
                  I think in the UK (and indeed in much of Europe) the divide is rural / urban.
                  My experience has been that the single most important factor is how often the staff encounters a customer and how the customer treats the staff.

                  Lots of people (especially those from other parts of Italy) find Milan to be a cold and impersonal place, but our relationships with the staff in the shops and restaurants that we frequented often was such that we were given leaving gifts by several. Indeed, much as in NYC, a key aspect of establishing oneself as a local was adopting various service providers "di fiducia" with whom your interactions went beyond the commercial on both sides.

                  This obviously happens more organically in a rural environment where people are much more likely to have other connections and there is much less consumer choice of providers.

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                    #59
                    Ah, I always thought you were in North California, not socal. Nevermind, the Electric bike is still a good idea. Get out there. Look, observe and meet people. It's the most important thing when you change cultures. And if things aren't amazing in the first few months, stick at it and let people you meet change your mind.
                    ​​

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                      #60
                      Basically, I reckon I'm probably forbidden from having Marmite in the house!
                      Woah. Woah woah woah woah woah. Massive red flag alert, buddy.

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                        #61
                        Hello again. Just dipping back in here, briefly.

                        Ray de Galles - yes, our first physical meeting, in November, was indeed the occasion on which I proposed. On the third of the four whole days we spent together.

                        However, what is remarkable - and a product of the medium and 'these times' - is that, by that point, we'd spent literally hundreds of hours talking to each other, online. I think that it was one weekend in October where we spent 18 hours talking to each other: 8 hours one day and 10 hours the next! In short, we have more contact and interaction with each other than I've ever had with any previous (real-world) partner. We talk - usually video chat - every day. Thus we've covered a whole lot of ground. We've had contretemps, sure - even full-on arguments - but we've recovered from them and worked them out. Thus, I think we know each other pretty damn well and know we'll be able to make this work.

                        One of the deciding moments for me was when she - 6 years younger than me, so more of a 'mid-late 80s kid' - was professing her love for Duran Duran, to which I commented "You do realise, don't you, that Duran were just a third-rate Japan covers band?" She leaned forward, into the camera, slightly, and just said, quite emphatically, "FUCK... OFF!!!" I chortled like a naughty child and thought "Yep! This is the one, I reckon!" :-)

                        Diggedy Derek - I know, I know! I understand how this issue polarises the populations of all nations, though, so I can deal with it. Maybe I'll sneak some in, when she's out of the house?! ;-)
                        Last edited by evilC; 28-07-2019, 00:54.

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                          #62
                          Radical suggestion, here, but you could always just have it there and suggest to her that she doesn't eat it. That's what I do with English mustard, which my girlfriend regards as some sort of chemical nerve agent.

                          And hearty congratulations, Clive!

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                            #63
                            Mustard leads to the same diametrically opposed reactions in our household too.

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                              #64
                              Congratulations Clive! You make a wonderful couple.

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                                #65
                                Originally posted by Sam View Post
                                Radical suggestion, here, but you could always just have it there and suggest to her that she doesn't eat it. That's what I do with English mustard, which my girlfriend regards as some sort of chemical nerve agent.
                                To be fair, it _is_ some sort of chemical nerve agent.

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                                  #66
                                  Congratulations to all three of you Clive. Enjoy your new life in the US and remember us from time to time.

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                                    #67
                                    I've only used dry Colman's in sauces and salad dressings, what makes it a nerve agent?

                                    ​​​​​There have been a number of pieces in the California press lately about inland cities are becoming more attractive as coastal prices get even more out of hand. It will be interesting to see if you find that to be true. The University has always made Riverside a bit different from the others.

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                                      #68
                                      I once sent back a pot of mustard in a chain pub restaurant and asked for it to be changed.

                                      As it was Colman's French mustard, and not Colman's English mustard...

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