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Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

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    #1

    Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

    "I opened up the fridge door, and I heard this terrible ringing sound. I thought 'oh no, I've smashed me face open on the fridge door again!'"
    Kevin Turvey.

    Just what it says on the thread title: what's the most self-harm you've inadvertently inflicted upon yourself whilst under the influence?

    I'm very lucky in this respect, as I've got a very low limit to my alcohol consumption - only about 6 pints at most. Thus, I simply fill up and my pissed-ness levels off. Thus I've never really been in a state bad enough to have any nasty accidents. The worst I can remember was tripping over an exhaust pipe that had fallen off a car and scraping my knee up (but mysteriously leaving my trousers completely unharmed). See - nothing! Everyone has got to be able to do better than that!

    So, what are your pre-weekend cautionary tales?
    Tags: None
    #2
    Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

    probably ripping open chin and getting stiches after falling off a car

    Comment

      #3
      Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

      bovril wrote:
      probably ripping open chin and getting stiches after falling off a car
      Of course, that begs the question 'what were you doing on the car in the first place?' It's bikes that you're supposed to be on, whilst cars are something you're (usually) in!

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        #4
        Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

        not sure what i was doing. Just sure that I fell off and landed on my chin

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          #5
          Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

          I ended up with V for 3 years after getting drunk on our first date and sleeping with her. Does mental damage count?

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            #6
            Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

            A broken collarbone, when I was 19. Entirely my own fault, having goaded three other people into a piggyback race when drunk.

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              #7
              Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

              Actually, if he turns up on this thread, Dotmund can trump everybody on this subject (providing he admits to being to drunk when it happened).

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                #8
                Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                I tripped over a sign that said 'Please keep off the grass' because I wanted to walk across the grass. Still have the scar and a dent in my shin bone. I consider myself lucky when I think of the several people I know who are now single mothers.

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                  #9
                  Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                  Emotional damage or physical damage?

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                    #10
                    Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                    Just on the opening fridge story, I got an immense blister on my arm after falling asleep very drunk with it resting on the heat exchange at the back of a fridge.

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                      #11
                      Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                      Wow. Where to start?

                      It's probably best not to start at all, as it goes. I'll just mention the dent in my shin and permanent nerve damage.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                        Guy Potger wrote:
                        Emotional damage or physical damage?
                        Let's keep it to physical, lest this thread turn into a downer.

                        This should be purely good ol' laughing-at-those-less-fortunate-than-you jollity.

                        I want to hear stories, though. The convoluted build up to that time you tried to light your fag on the control rod from a nuclear reactor, etc! Chance, causality, destruction and the aftermath. Preferably no death, though - that would be depressing!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                          Jumped over a bannister and knocked someone's pint out of their hand. With my forehead. It actually didn't hurt that much, until the next day.

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                            #14
                            Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                            Broken toe. Not even sure how I damaged it, just woke up in pain and got it x-rayed.

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                              #15
                              Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                              Apart from my shin injury, received whilst attempting parkour up on the Lancaster University campus, I also smashed my knee to pieces trying to jump over a bin in Nottingham. I couldn't walk for a week, and with a hobble for some time after that.

                              Comment

                                #16
                                Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                I wasn't really drunk, but last year I was performing, of all tings, a Starship song on the PS2 game Sing Star when I tried some dance move, lost my balance, tried to avoid knocking into my nephew, falling instead over the coffeetable, tried to avoid knocking over a glass of beer, instead sailing past it head-bound for a glass-shelf. I put my head down and landed face-first on the rough woven carpet. And, yeah, I had a carpet burn on my forehead. And my glasses are all bend out-of-shape.

                                Comment

                                  #17
                                  Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                  You're so fucking cool.

                                  Comment

                                    #18
                                    Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                    Pan Tau wrote:
                                    [quote] of all tings, [quote]

                                    Were you doing it in a ragga stylee rude bwoi?

                                    Comment

                                      #19
                                      Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                      The top three have to be:

                                      Breaking my arm after fucking over while imitating someone else's atrocious dancing with a little too much chutzpah (see OTF platinum for more).

                                      Waking up with a palm full of non-onanistic blisters, having [presumably] removed a grill pan with my bare hands. I know I'd had it together to chop peppers and prepare a couple of well-crafted rounds of cheese on toast the night before (I could still taste them, and there was no cheese overboard on the pan) but not why I'd felt so invincible.

                                      Waking up unable to move because I had a suspected broken hip (actually just some heavy bruising or something) and having to shuffle off to casualty, the day before I had to move to London. Not sure what happened there, but there's usually a murky image or sense memory as a clue: this time, a very tall fence.

                                      All a long time ago, in a county far, far away, of course.

                                      My favourite falls were while wondering around the fields we used to drink in, in the pitch black East Anglian night. Everything's going fine, then the world lights up and you see nothing but stars, having walked into an electrified fence. You made your own entertainment in those days, etc.

                                      Comment

                                        #20
                                        Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                        Puked on myself while driving home the next day
                                        on I-270. Kept the car spotless, however.

                                        The worst embarassment I ever incurred due to drink was on the night that preceded that. I gave my business card to a woman I fancied. She was a friend of a friend so I had to see her again and apologize. Handing a business card to a girl is a classic symptom of massive unrelenting massivedouchbagtoolasshattery. However, because I was hammered and really had no idea what I was doing, so she forgave me and we had a good laugh. But she never went out with me. She got back with her ex after that same party and now they're married. I probably shot my chances anyway thanks to that smooth move.

                                        A friend of mine coined the term UPW for cuts and bruises that one finds on oneself after a hard night. It stands for "unidentified party wound."

                                        Comment

                                          #21
                                          Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                          That's not an injury, it's just a bit of sick! (Unless you got whiplash from the force of the projectile vomiting, of course.)

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                                            #22
                                            Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                            Its an injury-lite!

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                                              #23
                                              Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                              The thread-title says "damage." Clearly, puking on oneself does a lot of damage to one's dignity.

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                                                #24
                                                Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                                My wife threw up in my car on the way home from a friend's wedding, the cow.

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                                                  #25
                                                  Most damage done to yourself whilst drunk?

                                                  Fair comment, Reed, but I still don't think you're trying hard enough.

                                                  Comment

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