Food poisoning

[EIM]

26 hours ago I came down with food poisoning. I'm unsure what it is that caused it, but it may be an unholy alliance of undercooked chicken and iffy rice. My girlfriend ate exactly the same as me and has suffered nothing, but then she has the digestive system of a rat. She can eat absolutely anything and she is never, ever sick.

While propelling slurry out of myself at regular intervals is annoying, I'd forgotten just how bad the aches, shakes and sweats could be. I've only had proper food poisoning twice before, both times in Italy (dodgy seafood in Puglia, bad arancini in Rome), so it's nice to get good, honest, British diarrhoea for once.

I'm lying in bed twatting paracetamol, sipping Lucozade, and wondering if I can work up to a Cup a Soup.But given I can still feel almost every millimetre of my guts, I reckon I'll leave it for a while.

[Toby Gymshorts]

Note to self: avoid El Gato Negro, Manchester.

[Benjm]

Best wishes for a fast recovery, EIM.

Hope you weren't wearing your big coat when it came on.

[EIM]

Note to self: avoid El Gato Negro, Manchester.

Ha! It's not El Gato to blame. The first rumblings appeared before there. I rather fear it's my own cooking at fault.

Benjm - I slept in my big coat last night, under a duvet, on the sofa, to try and control the violent shaking. It's been the only highlight.

[Sean of the Shed]

Was it a Greg's vegan sausage roll that did for you?

[Nefertiti2]

Get well soon- and don't feel sorry for yourself we need your sardonic posts on here.

[Patrick Thistle]

That shaking sounds like rigors, EIM. That's a serious response to infection. See a doctor in the morning if it carries on.

[Femme Folle]

Wow, feel better!

[3 Colours Red]

Wishing you well, EIM.

Getting it off rice is the worst because of the chance of it coming back up - have you ever tried to puke up boiled rice? It feels like your insides are being scoured with a wire brush.

[Paul S]

Have you tried eating some bisto to thicken it up?

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Dodgy pint I reckon.

[EIM]

Decided last night I was well enough to eat something, so made a cup a soup with some dry bread. Within a couple of hours I was puking and shaking uncontrollably. Lesson learned. I've woken up today with terrible stomach cramps, but no aches or shivers, so that's a plus.

Honestly, I'm getting bored of this now.

[Femme Folle]

Maybe it's time to see the doc. They can give you something for those symptoms. You could also be dehydrated.

[Satchmo Distel]

El Gato Negro should really be in Sunderland.

[WOM]

I have no practical advice, EIM, just look after yourself and watch lots of telly. And drink Gatorade.

[Moonlight Shadow]

Maybe it's time to see the doc. They can give you something for those symptoms. You could also be dehydrated.

Indeed, try to get some of those sport drinks with electrolytes in it. It is lasting a bit long this btw, you might have to consider the walk-in centre if you can move...

[EIM]

I am, I think, in the clear. But after a bout of illness I always go into a cleaning frenzy. In my fever dreams I often dream I'm being poisoned by spores being released round my house from dirt and clutter and that. As soon as I'm better I fucking go at it. This Tidy Frenzy has been fed by that Marie Kondo off Netflix. I've been binge watching it while ill. She's a tiny, polite, calming Japanese woman who comes round your house, teaches you to fold clothes and declutter, and then your family starts working again, as illustrated by emotional cutaways to camera.

"The key point here is to feel the piece of clothing with your hands and communicate your affection with your palms." She told me on YouTube while I was picking up discarded sweatshirts, rugby shirts and t-shirts. "It's very important to have this thought in mind while you fold your clothes."

She continued. "Folding clothes is not about making it compact. But it is about love. Too communicate your affection and gratitude for their continuous support."

This sounds like good science to me. I've bought into this decluttered dream. So much so I'm binning my two microwaves even though I use them. Well. One of them. The other has just always been around and I got used to it. But does it bring me joy? Do I want it with me as my life moves forward? HELL NO.

Anyway. I'll get to all that later. Right now I'm fucking starving. Might have sausage, eggs, chips and beans. See how that fixes me.

[ursus arctos]

Nothing brings joy like sausage, eggs, chips and beans.

[San Bernardhinault]

So. having decluttered your insides, you're also decluttering outside?

[EIM]

I'm out of beans. This is a hammer-blow.

[ad hoc]

Former OTFer The Horse wrote a great review of that programme in the Guardian. I'd link to it but I'm on my phone and all that faff certainly wouldn't bring me joy

[Nefertiti2]

Glad you're feeling better EIM. You bring us joy.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

If you're having stomach or intestinal spasms EIM I can super recommend Buscopam If you can lay your hands on it. Drink Lucozade sport, rather than the ordinary lucozade. The "Sport" bit means "more comprehensive hangover cure."

The thing you're describing sounds like the Crohns Attacks. The Initial ones I thought were food poisoning. That shivering thing is really horrendous, and basically comes from being so sick/short of energy that you can't control your body temperature. I really don't miss that.

[Moonlight Shadow]

Err, be best for young EIM to get himself checked out if you think so Berba...

[ursus arctos]

I had the same thought.

some of the best posts here are grounded in insights on shared experiences, but when it comes to TAB and intestinal issues . . .