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The F*** It list

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    The F*** It list

    Nicked off the comedian Angela Barnes. Things that you haven't done and probably never will/want to.

    Run a marathon/triathlon

    ...or another half marathon but that doesn't fit with the criteria. When I did my first half-marathon, I was 49 and, a couple of weeks before completing it, I realised my Dad was 50 when he did the London Marathon so I thought I may match him. My dad's record is safe. After the half-marathon, I made a hastily-broken vow not to run another half let alone a marathon. I have managed to keep to the latter and never will even if, with my increasingly decrepit joints, I could. Obviously, this knocks out a triathlon but I wouldn't have done one of those either as I keep thinking of the chaffing.

    Learnt tennis

    I have obviously knocked a ball around with a racquet but never played a proper game. My wife, son and a lot of friends have taken lessons and played regularly but, as soon as I found out about having to serve it into the square next the net, I knew I was doomed and didn't want to do the lessons or training required to achieve it.

    Learnt to ride a motorbike.

    Never been bothered and never will, I don't think. I quite fancy one of those motor-trike things though but they are essentially a nude Reliant Robin. .

    Parachute jump

    I got perilously close when I was much younger but ducked out, crucially, just before I had to pay the deposit. I went along with my mates and watched them jump out of a plane and there be an agonising delay until their parachute opened. When they landed, they all said, "Bet you wish you had done it now?". Nope. Then they showed the photos of them jumping out and there they were in mid-air with land miles below them and they said the same and my answer was the same. I am never jumping out of a plane and see no need to unless said plane is on fire. (see also Bungee-jumping)

    Going to Australia

    To be honest, I wouldn't mind and, if someone came up with the money and time for me to do it, I would. However, I can't really see that I will have either of mine to do it now. I had two sets of friends who lived in Melbourne and seriously considered it but they have both moved back. I am not the greatest flyer so am not sure I can put up with being on a plane for 48 hours in total for a few weeks holiday. I suppose this really deserves to be more of a "Never, say never..." category and I wouldn't mind being proved wrong on this one.

    Being a professional sportsman

    I seem to remember that Mike Myers had a saying for the age when you realise that you won't be a professional sportsman. To be honest, all of the possibles were non-starters obviously - I never had any skill at anything but there is still something about hitting your late 20s and realising that it is totally impossible. I am even too old to take up old people's games and have a late surge such as golf or bowls. As I wasn't bad as a kid, I did think darts might be a go-er but I know I would never put in the time now. I still haven't given up the idea of playing for an international team or managing a team though.

    I will, I expect, add to this list.



    #2
    https://www.onetouchfootball.com/for...ti-bucket-list

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      #3
      No swearing in thread titles. Makes it difficult fpr people at work.

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        #4
        ...fpr....

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          #5
          "Chaffing"?

          Throwing thin strips of aluminium into the air?

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            #6
            Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
            No swearing in thread titles. Makes it difficult fpr people at work.
            When did that become a thing? I missed that fucking meeting?

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              #7
              Originally posted by Snake Plissken View Post
              No swearing in thread titles. Makes it difficult fpr people at work.
              WFH FTW!

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                #8
                Originally posted by Bordeaux Education View Post

                When did that become a thing? I missed that fucking meeting?
                Since we moved 18 months ago. Swear all you fucking like in the text, that isn't usually in easy to see bold type...

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                  #9
                  There was a time 20 years ago when I seriously considered parachute jumping, just for the heck of it. Now it seems totally meaningless to me, stupid even. I'll never do a bungy jump either. If I want that kind of thrill, I can do it for free jaywalking on a busy highway and leap about like a human Frogger.

                  A former colleague enlisted in parachute jumping stuff and bragged about it constantly. To the point it became very tedious listen to his oh how cool he was throwing himself out of a plane. He stopped bragging about it when he collided mid-air one time with someone else throwing himself out of the same plane, and got one of those whiplash injuries you have to live with rest of your life. It stopped being a cool experience then.

                  Things on my Fuck-it list:
                  Eat escargot - French kitchen is totally weird
                  Watch Pink Floyd live, not even on DVD
                  Swim with dolphins. Fuck's sake, why?
                  Climb a mountain - I feel nothing at all about people who die on very high mountains. Who the fuck told you it was climable? Not me.
                  Visit a music festival - The human specie is great at creating moronicity, music festivals win in that regard
                  Gondola in Venice - 200 bucks to be paddled over smelly shit
                  Slalom - !?
                  Swim in a shark cage - Yeah, let's go down there be bait
                  I would include getting to the top of the Eiffel tower but itís too late since my father took us there 1984.
                  Last edited by Pietro Paolo Virdis; 10-01-2019, 05:33.

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                    #10
                    'Being a professional sportsman' doesn't count on a bucket list, surely?

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