So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Lined up for tomorrow night ... candles dotted about - check, nice food in fridge - check, wine in wine rack - check, dirty socks tracked down from hiding places and herded into washing machine - check;

what about photos of the ex, do you reckon? My date tomorrow knows I'm divorced. Still, pretty much every single photo of me and my daughters that I have up in the house includes a beaming ex-Signora Rogin. But I don't want to take them all down, the walls would feel bare.

Having photos of your ex up about the place doesn't send out any wrong messages, does it? Not when you've got them up because they're actually pictures of your kids?

[hobbes]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Erm, yeah. Good luck with that...

[WOM]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

When Mrs WOM and I separated briefly, early on in our marriage, her grandmother put a bit of toilet paper over my face in family photos.
That might work for the ex-signora.

[Greenlander]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

My Mum has a photograph of ex, me and our son on his christening day in a prime location at her house. It got my last girlfriend worked up every time she saw it. And you're usually pretty stable by the time your going to the parents.

So from my experience photos of the ex, even with your child/ren does not go down well.

Surely you've got ones of just them, or just you and them. I know she's their mother and all, but do you want to be reminded either?

[Wyatt Earp]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

When I met Mrs E, my ex was living upstairs from me. And that went surprisingly OK. But I'm still not sure this is a great plan...

[Hofzinser]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

I don't have any direct experience to go by, but at the very least I'd want to keep pictures of the ex to an absolute minimum if I were you, even if they are there because of the kids, and even if it does leave the place looking a bit bare.

of course, it all depends on the lady herself, and how she might take it, and only you can judge that.

[WOM]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Go to the dollar store and buy a package of those smiley face stickers that teachers use on good work. Paste one over ex-signora's face. If your new gal still gets worked up about the photos, you'll be fairly certain that she isn't the type you want to get too involved with.

[Gangster Octopus]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Heh, I was going to say that...

[WOM]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Great minds.

Oh, and any nude photos? Hide those completely. Dames gets all jealous 'bout shit like that.

[San Bernardhinault]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Scratch out her face on all of them. It will make you not only look like a reasonable, non-psychotic person, but it will give the impression that you've completely gotten over her and have decided to move on.

[Reed John]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Computers can do amazing things these days. You need to transform those pictures. Instead of pictures of your kids and your ex at the park, it could be a picture of Pele and your kids at the park. Instead of a picture of your kids and your ex at a Christmas gathering, it could be a picture of your kid and Sir John Gielgud. That would kill two birds with one stone - not only would it remove your ex's visage from the scene of your new romance, it would create some great ice-breaking conversation starters.

[WOM]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Or, photoshop her out, but just leave her hat or sunglasses floating in mid air.

This is all very helpful, isn't it?

[Caliban]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

UXB's parents had pictures of him and his ex in the house - one with their kids in and one at their wedding. I absolutely hated it, but at least I knew it was nothing to do with UXB and how he felt. If I'd been to his place and there had been pictures of her there I don't think I'd have gone back. And I certainly wouldn't have been able to relax with her beaming down at me.

[Reed John]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

But I'd bet you'd be very relaxed with a great footballer or legendary stage actor beaming down at you. That's all I'm trying to say.

[Incandenza]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

The candles all over the place seems creepy to me, Rogin. I'm not saying don't have any candles, but with too many it seems like having a bottle of champagne next to a bear-skin rug in front of a fireplace with Barry White playing on the stereo.

[San Bernardhinault]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

The new girl might wonder what Pele is doing in a floral print dress, next to the canal in Droylsden, though.

[G-Man]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

She's not a steady GF, is she? So a couple of pics of the ex and kids can't really upset her. If things get more serious, you might want to look at rearranging your photo gallery. But if she freaks out that early in your relationship because of some photos, then you will have problems later.

Besides, your ex is going to be in your life; no point denying that. Having these photos up might communicate that the former Mrs Rogin won't go boil the love interest's bunnies, but that relations between you are amicable.

Of course, none of us know the love interest's personality, so we're just guessing.

[WOM]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

re: Pele; if she does he'd be fairly certain that she isn't the type he'd want to get too involved with.

[WOM]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Turn it around PT: how would you feel if her ex-husband was staring down at you from every wall?

[Caliban]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

Well I'd have freaked out at photos of the ex and I don't think that's unreasonable. And although it's acceptable that she's still in his life, she doesn't have to be that much in his life. I'd really worry about the boundaries.

Pele would be much better.

[Reed John]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

The new girl might wonder what Pele is doing in a floral print dress, next to the canal in Droylsden, though.

Like I said. It's a conversation-starter. It will break that awkward tension that sometimes afflicts the early moments of these sorts of dates.

The candles all over the place seems creepy to me, Rogin. I'm not saying don't have any candles, but with too many it seems like having a bottle of champagne next to a bear-skin rug in front of a fireplace with Barry White playing on the stereo.

[Incandenza]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

WornOldMotorbike wrote:

Turn it around PT: how would you feel if her ex-husband was staring down at you from every wall?

"Oh my god--you mean I'm not the first one to have sex with you? Get out of my sight, you harlot!"

[San Bernardhinault]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

More seriously, take them down. If she asks to see pics of the kids then sure, show her the ones with the ex in. But I think it would feel very weird seeing them on the walls.

If the walls are looking bare I do think you can buy a poster of a girl playing tennis at Athena which would show that you are a classy gentleman in touch with his modern, feminine side.

[Femme Folle]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

I was going to suggest the smiley face stickers too, but someone beat me to it. Damn work!

Why don't you cut out pictures of the faces of people like Margaret Thatcher, QE2 (the ship or the person, doesn't matter) or Ann Widdecomb from magazines and paste them on the glass over her face? Do something amusing or lighthearted like that to show her that you are sensitive to the subject, but you're not so obsessed with her at this point that you're going to rearrange the house for her.

Later, if it becomes serious, you can do something more permanent, like having new pictures of you and your kids made to hang on the walls and relegate the old ones to the cupboard.

[Guest]

So the awkward first "stay at mine" date then

How many pictures are there? I would say a maximum of maybe two would be all right, and make them ones where it's most obvious that it's about the kids. and maybe not in the bedroom, like.

you've got me wondering what my husband will do with the 2 or 3 pictures with me in that are around the house...