Weddings

[Guest]

Weddings

Well they're all going to be invited to the reception in the evening, just not the ceremony itself so that should take care of that.

Oh I get you, well, yeah, that sounds absolutely fine to me. Can you maybe ring one of the aunts up and ask her discreetly to reassure your mum that they're delighted to be going to the reception and not to worry about the ceremony etc? I realise that this is probably a bit machiavellian.

[Hofzinser]

Weddings

Well, yeah - we're going to the house of one of my aunt's/uncle's for Sunday lunch in a couple of weeks time so that'll be a good opportunity to explain things ourselves (it's down south so my parents won't be there). The thing is, both me and my fiancee would genuinely love to have this particular aunt and uncle (along with a couple more) at the ceremony itself as we both have a great relationship with them - but it's just not possible to pick and choose aunts and uncles in this kind of thing. And they'll be fine with it.

[Gangster Octopus]

Weddings

WornOldMotorbike wrote:

Regrets? The only one was my father-in-law insisting on hiring a lovely old Cadillac ragtop to take us from the backyard wedding to the reception. We said "NO!" eighteen different ways from Sunday. He did it anyway. It was cold and windy and Mrs WOM was in tears by the time we got there.

Drop-heads just don't work in Canada, do they.

[WOM]

Weddings

They do for about three weeks straddling July and August. Other than that, money down the pooper.

[Caliban]

Weddings

I suppose it might not just be about your mum wanting to show off. Perhaps it's odd for her to mention your wedding to her brothers or sisters without extending an invitation.

You could always have your wedding in a registry office the day before and then have a symbollic ceremony instead. It needn't look any different from a normal ceremony and everyone will be none the wiser. I've known a few people who have done this.

[Moonlight Shadow]

Weddings

My mum (according to my brother) frowned disapprovingly when she heard of our plans to have a tiered cheese mountain instead of a cake. God knows what she'll be like when she finds out that my fiancee isn't taking my name.

As long as you invite me to take a look (and bite...) at that "tiered cheese mountain", I'll happily take care of your mum, one way or the other...

PS Mrs 1890 says "Good decision girl" to Mrs Hof.

[ad hoc]

Weddings

Well, obviously your mum is right on at least one thing.

[Crusoe]

Weddings

Weddings are a bit of a nightmare. I have about four weeks to go until ours. Only one relative kicked up a fuss but some stern words sorted that one out. The logistics are the big headache; both of us are looking forward more to the honeymoon than the day itself, although I'm sure it'll all work out fine.

Sounds like you're in the same boat I was about a month or two ago, Hof - that moment when you wonder why you didn't do it all completely differently (while realising it's probably too late to change it now). It'll work out.

[Reed John]

Weddings

My brother described his involvement in the planning of his wedding thusly. "I'm like the delegate from Guam." By which he means that, like the congressional delegate from one of the United States' territorial possessions, he was expected to be there at the deliberations and offer an opinion, but his vote didn't actually count for anything.

There seems to be a growing consensus in this country that the Wedding-Industrial Complex is completely out of control.

Some articles on that topic (which I think we've discussed here before).

http://www.slate.com/id/2165581/

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/05/21/mead_weddings/

http://www.grumblemagazine.com/articles/toots/wedding.html

[DCI Harry Batt]

Weddings

I've always had a bit of a piper-paying/tune-calling attitude to weddings. If you (a general you, not anyyou in particular) want someone else to pay for your party, don't come running to me when they start interfering.

But then I'm a bit of an old curmudgeon on the whole subject of weddings.

[Reed John]

Weddings

The best weddings are where you know the bride and the groom and their friends and family very well and yet somehow managed not to get roped into being part of the official wedding party. Good times with friends, no responsibility.

[Eggchaser]

Weddings

Our wedding was fine. We just invited the extended families and virtually everyone we knew so there were about 90 at the wedding and "breakfast" and another 30-40 pitching in at the evening bash. No fuss, no tears, no arguments and a memorable drunken 14 year old cousin being carried to his room for a lie down at 5.00 in the afternoon having sampled the wine a little too heavily. Everyone we've spoken to says it was one of the best weddings they've been to (although frankly, I think a lot of the relatives were just itching for an excuse to drag out the frocks and hats, what with the number of times they nagged us about getting hitched). I know that the board is a haven of iconoclasts, bearded hippies and lentil eaters, but most people do expect big dresses, morning suits, an old car, bad speeches and a crap disco. So that's what we gave 'em (we also wanted it too). The only minor disagreements were my putting my foot down about not getting married in church (only the Catholic grannies disappointed about that) and one argument over the seating plan, resolved in one exchange of emails. We had a great day (check out the Facebook photos if you like) but I can't stress this enough - if your marriage means anything, then the day of your marriage is only one day in your life together. My parents were married on a freezing cold day and their parents looked miserable as sin, but 35 years on it's just something they look back on and laugh about. There is this whole "Bridezilla" it-must-be-perfect-why-is-she-going-to-the-toilet-now-and-ruining-everything tinge to some weddings. Our page boy disappeared to help my cousins throw other cousins into shubbery during the photo session so he's only in a few of them, but who cares?

Also, don't have reportage style photos. Your friends and relatives will provide you with enough out of focus/red-eyed/off centre shots of backs of people's heads and crowd shots of people not paying attention or blinking at the wrong time, so why pay a professional to do the same? have him do the formal "Mother and father of the bride, please!" shots and pinch your friends and families' ones where people are relaxed/pissed/both.