If Beyoncé can get past the trauma of being cheated on, America should be able to survive beyond November. Beyoncé is the ultimate survivor, defined by her strength in the face of adversity. Hillary Clinton, the presumptive Democratic nominee, might need a bit of that resolve if she’s going to get through the next few months.
Hillary knows a few things about the trauma of a husband breaking his vows and the subsequent necessary self-healing. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Hillary ran into the woods or demolished a load of cars with a baseball bat when she heard the news that her spouse – the leader of the free world – violated her trust. Instead of releasing an album of caustic rebukes and introspective malaise accompanied by an epic short film, she dropped a memoir called Living History in 2003. It was Lemonade without Serena Williams, Zendaya, explosions, dozens of costume changes, and highly woke intersectional feminism. In truth, it was a book by a rich, old white lady, but close enough.
In Living History, she explained that her commitment to Bill was tested, but not broken because their connection was too strong, that they’d been through too much together to throw it all away. She managed to explain her decision and own her feelings without looking weak in the process – like a miniature, whiter Beyoncé.
I was just about to post this exact thing.
I mean, yeah, it sucks if your husband cheats on you (I once rode an elevator with Jay Z. True story, I'm 95% sure), but an tall, beautiful woman with a world-class voice talent and excellent management married to a drug-dealer-turned-hip-hop-tycoon is not a "survivor" in any meaningful sense. She's the opposite, actually. She hit the genetic, cultural, and economic jackpot. Nothing against her, but lets pump the brakes on the "speaks for all women" stuff.
I heard that this Lemonade thing was the greatest thing so I watched a bit. It was ok, but not my thing. It also felt like I was dropping into some kind of convoluted HBO prestige show in the fourth season.
The article describes that and then tries to explain that it's coming back. As if fucking CRUISE SHIPS are a good place to go looking for the real-life consequences of economic inequality. FFS.
Wouldn't people with money to burn on expensive cruises rather go on a smaller, more exclusive boat? It's almost as if lording it over people with inside cabins below the waterline is the point of the exercise.
It also neatly encapsulates everything that's wrong with the Guardian's current clickbait-heavy direction : everything couched in half-baked identity politics, embarrassing obsession with celebrity gossip masquerading as cultural commentary, tragic attempts to appear down with the kids by writing in semi-literate gibberish ("you kinda wish"? I don't think so), writers from a rarefied social sphere who somehow imagine that their experience is universal (I've ranted about the journalistic 'we' before, haven't I?), and of course their continued endorsement of mediocre centre-right political candidates. Absolute bilge.
Somehow I only recently found out about rainbow bagels, on here. It's not ending there.
Baked goods, where we’re used to seeing fanciful colors, are one thing. But now there’s rainbow savory food, too. In addition to the aforementioned grilled cheese, there have been two types of rainbow pizza. There’s also rainbow pasta, made by dumping cooked noodles into bags of food coloring and mixing them together for a plate that looks like a Brice Marden painting. It’s only just the beginning. Somers thinks we will see more artificial rainbows on the dinner plate as cooks’ creativity reaches new and terrifying depths. What’s next: rainbow sausage? Rainbow lasagna? Rainbow coq au vin?
“Meat of any kind seems like it shouldn’t be rainbowed,” said Somers.
Another hilarious — or unfortunate, depending on your view — application of the trend is its affiliation with unicorns. That’s due, in part, to an Internet meme that asserts that the one-horned mythical creatures, um, excrete rainbows and glitter. Which, in turn, has become nomenclature for a number of rainbow-color desserts: A mound-shaped sparkly, rainbow cookie called Unicorn Poop was among the first of the multicolor creations to ride the recent wave.
For once, the subjects aren't really the worst people in it, the reporter seems really annoying:
You seem young for an art director. Are you an art genius?
I’m a college dropout. Berghs School of Communication in Sweden.
Where is your sweatshirt from?
It’s a couple of guys in Switzerland called Armes Armes Armes, who make them by hand. And this one was made with a French record label, Bromance Records.
Your pants are also sweats, so you’re kind of wearing a sweatsuit.
I guess I tend to stick to black, and yeah, I’ve never been a fan of button-up shirts. It’s a lot of T-shirts and a lot of sweatshirts. From OAK N.Y.C.
You could go right from work to the gym.
Except for this dude:
Age 31
You’re carrying a composition notebook. Old school.
For my notes, absolutely. I need to write on paper. I hate writing notes on my computer.
How do you describe your look?
Ghetto fabulous. Health gothic. Unless I have a client meeting, then I turn it down a little bit.
“Health” because you are really into fitness?
No. It just means that I wear sweatpants and black dresses that are like T-shirts.
Tell me about your snazzy sneakers.
My friend started a luxury sneaker brand called Kingdom. He sent me a pair to P.R. them.
And your big shark tooth: Is that for Australia, your homeland?
This is actually a Givenchy shark tooth necklace that my partner and I share. I love it. It does kind of represent Australia, I guess.
This twitter account is great. https://twitter.com/nytvows
And then this from @cszabla, a pretty good account from an anonymous hater of many things I hate.
one of those weeks when @nytimesvows seems like it's the one trolling @nytvows and not the other way around.
"Charlotte Johnson is a descendant of Mayflower passengers and Chris Jones of Daniel Webster"
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/01/fashion/weddings/charlotte-johnson-christopher-jones.html?smid=tw-nytvows&smtyp=cur
"The couple was introduced through their secret society at Yale...
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/04/24/fashion/weddings/sylvana-hidalgo-david-wheelock.html?rref=collection%2Fspotlightcollectio n%2Fwedding-announcements
"The groom is a descendant of William Bradford, a founder of Plymouth, Massachusetts, and of Cornelius Vanderbilt."
..."After 16 dates over the next two years, to his relief they finally had their first kiss in front of the Elizabeth Street Garden in SoHo, which is where he proposed in October 2015."
Who writes these things? I'm not sure if it's worse to imagine that the Times has a person interviewing them and deciding that their decedents are important information, of it's worse that somebody in the couples family wanted that in there.
For once, the subjects aren't really the worst people in it, the reporter seems really annoying:
I love this, from Andre, AGED 25.
Back in college, I wanted a line beard. My mom was like, “Why don’t you try growing it out?” And I haven’t looked back since. And so now she is like, “You need to take care of it, you need to put all these oils in it.”
When I was 17 years old, I was accepted to medical school and my parents are still trying to figure out what went wrong. [Laughs] I didn’t last in medical school; not for not wanting to be a doctor so much as for wanting to do other things—wanting to be a writer. I took a leave of absence and the leave of absence kept being extended and extended and actually, I [ended up having] done a ton of other things. I was a presidential campaign coordinator, I was an information technology consultant, I was an entertainment news show producer, advertising copy writer, playwright—I’ve done a ton of different things and my resume pretty much looks like a manifesto for schizophrenia.
He was accepted to medical school at 17?????? I'm dubious.
I might disown a kid like that, or try some kind of intervention. Other than "IT consultant" and "playwright," all of those are a net drag on society, and IT consultant might be too.
And now he says he spends 80-100 hours on each wedding piece. What a colossal waste of time.
More importantly, I think any reporters primary responsibility is to be a bullshit detector, especially at the Times.”
Yeah, Man, um, that hasn't been my experience with y'all, TBH.
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