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"Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

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    "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7316401.stm

    Gordon Brown "gets lost" at the Royal Banquet, and apparently has to suffer the Queen and Princess Anne chortling at him when he turns up late once the gong is sounded.

    Now I don't know about you, but I've been to posh dos before where the "unspoken" etiquette rules both intimidated me and pissed me off. It's frankly rude of a host to assume that you know you're "meant" to "be in line" at the moment when guests line up to walk in to take their places, or that it would be frowned upon if you nip out to have a piss on the patio.

    I can't believe Number Ten is taking this in such good humour. If The Queen's this much of a cow, I think Gordon should be asking M. Sarkoszy if he's still got any decent blueprints for a guillotine knocking about.

    #2
    "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

    Rogin the Armchair Fan wrote:
    Now I don't know about you, but I've been to posh dos before where the "unspoken" etiquette rules both intimidated me and pissed me off. It's frankly rude of a host to assume that you know you're "meant" to "be in line" at the moment when guests line up to walk in to take their places, or that it would be frowned upon if you nip out to have a piss on the patio.
    Leaving aside that last bit, there are actual parties like that?

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      #3
      "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

      I dunno what the Queen and Princess Anne are laughing at. When they were in the Kings Arms in Grantham, playing pool on the L-Shaped table, they got bollocked not once, but twice for breaking pool etiquette. Firstly for resting their drink on the side of the table, and secondly for stopping the balls going down the pockets so they could get a free game.

      I mean, there's faux pas, and then there's faux pas.

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        #4
        "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

        Maybe Number 10 is taking it in good humour because Gordon doesn't give a shit? Maybe he meant to fuck up the protocol, crackling manically as he whispered to himself: "You're not the queen of me".

        In The Queen, "Tony Blair" is seen walking out backwards after presenting his credentials yo the old hag. Really, fuck protocol. I'd have told her: "Frau Battenberg, I have no time for all the niceties of protocol, so let's dispense with all that bullshit. If you don't like it, I'll cut your entitlements before your racist husband can make slit-eyes. Close the door on your way out".

        Sure as fuck, I'd never bow to any royal, or address any of these wasters as "You Royal Highness". I rather like Rogin's suggestion in his final paragraph.

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          #5
          "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

          Heh, yes I remember once deciding that I was going to be a top tennis player, not for the cash, but just so I could make a republican/egalitarian statement by not bowing to the royal box at Wimbledon.

          Sadly, not many top male tennis players are 5'9, with arms like twigs.

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            #6
            "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

            Downing Street has insisted Gordon Brown was just "doing what he was told"

            Sarko told him to get lost?

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              #7
              "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

              Fcucking jocks. If you don't like our etiquette get back to the highlands, paint your face blue and roast a wild haggis on an open fire with your neeps and tatties.

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                #8
                "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                That the rules are unspoken is the whole point. If information on them were readily available, they'd be less effective as ways of distinguishing insiders from outsiders. EIM's comparison with pool table etiquette, though said With His Tongue Firmly In His Cheek and all that, is actually dead on the money: in both cases it's about "Are you or are you not one of us?"

                Slang can work in the same way. I always hated that cosy, smug Cambridge slang: pet names for some of the colleges and so on. "Tit Hall". My sides.

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                  #9
                  "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                  Some manners are mainly secret codes to seperate the hoi polloi from the in crowd. But some manners out to be self-fucking-evident or at least, they ought to be for anyone who isn't thick.

                  For example, putting one's drink on the pool table is pretty thoughtless and selfish. I mean, what if it spills on the table?

                  It's like people who put their free hand on the table during air hockey, or worse, pound the red thingy onto the table. I mean, that's just plum ignernt.

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                    #10
                    "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                    This 'linked article not opening in a new window' is really getting on my tits, to quote...you know...yous people.

                    And another thing that really grates (from that article); the phrase "washed down with" when describing beverages that accompanied a meal. What a horrible turn of phrase, and I'm seeing it increasingly.

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                      #11
                      "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                      On the Moaning Thread, CTT kindly pointed out that if you've got Mozilla and a wheelie mouse, you can middle-click the link to open it in a new tab. Works a treat.

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                        #12
                        "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                        Middle-click seems to work in Opera, too.

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                          #13
                          "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                          And right-click gives you the option to open in a new window in IE.

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                            #14
                            "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                            It works in IE7 too. Middle-click that is.

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                              #15
                              "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                              Ah, yes. That's lovely. Thanks all.
                              Anyone cracked 'washed down with' yet?

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                                #16
                                "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                                WOM, that reminds me of one of my pet peeves, admittedly only a minor one: when you're at a restaurant and the waiter or waitress asks, "Are you still working on that?" Working?! That makes it sound like food is something unpleasant and not about enjoyment.

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                                  #17
                                  "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                                  I fear I used to say that when I waitered. Sounded nicer than "Done?"

                                  "Just two tonight?" when you're met by the hostess drives me nuts. Why 'just'? If you're standing there by yourself, I can understand it. But I also know that that drives the 'solo diner with book' crowd mental.

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                                    #18
                                    "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                                    "Are you still enjoying that?", on the other hand, invites a Wildean sally along the lines is "I shall inform you if I begin to do so."

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                                      #19
                                      "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                                      Strangely, I get annoyed when protocol is upset in a restaurant by "waitrons" (ugh!). Probably because I was a protocolist waiter myself. So I bristle when I get served from the wrong side, and have just accepted the common sense of clearing away someone's plate while other members of the party are still eating.

                                      But I must control my murderous rage when we get addressed as "folks". It's not that I get a kick out of being addressed as "sir", but I damn fucking well am not "folks". Unless we're family, and even then not.

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                                        #20
                                        "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                                        I find that in the US, "folks" is a powerful word. "Folks" sells.

                                        It reminds people of a simpler time in their youth, or perhaps their grandma's youth, when people went to the five-and-dime to drink cherry phosphates and eat egg-salad sandwiches and listened to the ball game on the wireless and everything was a nickel.

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                                          #21
                                          "Etiquette", dear boy, is simply bred into one

                                          Be careful, you're channeling Norman Rockwell again.

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