It's the anticipation I can't stand

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Internet dating. That first flush of excitement when you start exchanging e-mails with someone who sounds like they might be fun. You live close to each other, you like their picture, they like yours. You realise your interests are similar, you want similar things out of life, and you make each other laugh. So you suggest, tentatively, maybe meeting up for real, at some point over the weekend.

And you race home from work, hoping that their next e-mail is right there in your inbox, that they have been thinking about you all day the same way you have been thinking about how they might have replied ...

and nothing. Nil, nada. Not even an update on facebook. Bah.

[Guest]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Cripes. Best of luck Rogin.

Maybe she hasn't been near a computer all day.

[Reed John]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Speaking of anticipation, I had an MRI of my brain this morning. In the next 48 hours, I'll find out if I have a pituitary adenoma.

In a way, I sort of hope I do, because the treatment for that sounds more appealing than the other possible options for why my bloodwork says I have low testosterone.

I'm also wondering if the pictures of my brain will show that half of it is filled with useless sports and comic book trivia.

[Hofzinser]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

It's also possible that she's just as keen as you but is deliberately keeping you hanging on. That's what my fiancee did when we first started going out.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

I'm going with "she's trapped underneath something heavy, just out of reach of her keyboard".

To be fair, we haven't exchanged phone numbers yet. If we had and she hadn't called either, I'd really be pissed off.

[Hofzinser]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Fucking hell, Reed. Good luck.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Reed, there is no such thing as "useless" sports or comic book trivia.

And good luck with it.

[E10 Rifle]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Christ Reed, yeah. All the best. Take care.

[Jimski]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

No offence, Hof, but I'm not sure I myself would bother with someone who deliberately kept me hanging on. It's a form of mental torture, and I couldn't be doing with such game-playing. I try to imagine the sort of mindset I'd have to have do that myself...

[Guest]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Rogin you must read 'he's just not that into you' as a matter of urgency. Just, you know, reverse the genders.

[Guest]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

and best wishes Reed.

[Hofzinser]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Jimski - I'm not talking about any major "playing hard to get games" or anything. I just mean that she (I later found out) made a point of not replying to an email or a text within a certain time of receiving it (in the very initial stages). But I wasn't kept hanging on for days on end or anything. I couldn't be bothered with that either.

[Reed John]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

I'll be fine. If there is something, it's a benign thingamagig that they've got to pull out or radiate or somesuch. The surgery is pretty easy, supposedly. They just make a small hole and yank it out through the nose.

What I'm afraid of is that I'll have to go on hormone replacement therapy. That could have scary side-effects. I don't want to end up like this.

So far my symptoms are the depression, the general lack of interest in stuff, including, but not limited to sex, and the low number on my blood test. But everything else seems to be in order. For example, a lot of men with low testosterone don't grow much hair on their face. I wish I had that problem. Shaving is such a hassle and beards are itchy. My, er, um "gear" seems to be in relatively good working order, although to be frank it's been a while since it, er, umm, got a run-out for the first team in a competitive match, so to speak. I don't have abnormal Phil Mickelson-esque man-boobs. So that's good and I don't have a higher count of any female hormones.

It's also possible that the test was a fluke. I'm going to get a redo tomorrow. If it turns out different, then I guess I have to go a third time for the rubber match.

I think Rogin's situation is far more anxious. It sounds like a promising prospect.

[San Bernardhinault]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

From what I've heard of "he's just not that into you", it's a pile of old wank, basically designed to tell you that every relationship is going to be a disaster.

My bet is that she's desperately trying not to write too much, too frequently, because she's scared she'll frighten you off by being too enthusiastic. Consciously telling herself to wait a few hours before writing again.

[Hofzinser]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Yeah, that's exactly what I was driving at.

[hobbes]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

I just read some excerpts from that "He's just not that into you" thing.
It is indeed a big pile of wank.

Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out

Will he bollocks. It takes me a month of pansying around to ask a girl I like what the time is. The chances of me asking her out are about nil. That's why t'internet was invented. That and porn.

Dear Greg,

This is dumb. I know you're not supposed to call guys, but I call guys all the time because I don't care! I don't want to play games. I do whatever I want! I've called guys tons of times. You're such a square, Greg. Why do you think we can't call guys and ask them out?

Nikki

Dear Nikki,

Because we don't like it. Okay, some guys might like it, but they're just lazy. And who wants to go out with Lazy Guy? It's that simple. I didn't make the rules and I might not even agree with them. Please don't be mad at me, Nikki. I'm not advocating that women go back to the Stone Age. I just think you might want to be realistic in how capable you are of changing the primordial impulses that drive all of human nature.

Or maybe you're the chosen one.

What a cock.

[Guest]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

It's not wank! It says, in a nutshell, if someone likes you then they will let you know and they won't do stuff to you like not call, etc. And if they don't call, etc. you should take it as an indication that they don't really like you. It's kind of empowering. It says, instead of torturing yourself because they didn't call (what did I say? do I smell? etc) you just think Ah well, their loss, and move on. It tells you to stop blaming yourself and to stop playing games, and that generally you can tell if someone wants to be with you.

[E10 Rifle]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Christ, what a prick "Greg" is. Hope she blanked him

[Guest]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

that excerpt is out of context. honestly, I think the book is great. It helped me make sense of something that happened a million years ago but still really upsets me when I think about it.

[Er Liquidatore]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Yeah, that's a good tactic for her to adopt.

I love it when girls call me personally, gves me the right horn.

[Guest]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Are you not going to the Fitz after all Liq? I ought to know before I leave the office.

[hobbes]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

It's not wank!

It is. It's utter wank. It reduces the dynamic between men and women to caves and wooden clubs. For fucks sake it working on the principle that there aren't men who
a. actually don't like the chase
b. are shy or nervous
c. prefer women who are prepeared to take the lead.
I mean I could go on. What if men decided "well if she doesn't ask me out she doesn't like me." Or "if she doesn't call she's doesn't like me." The whole race would collapse. It's testosterone-wankery, pandering the the most feeble impulses of both men and women. It's giving permission for men to be sexual predators and what it says about women is even worse.

[Er Liquidatore]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

Yes, I can walk there in five minutes Lyra. Am waiting for CT for call.

[Reed John]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

In addition to laziness, there are lots of much more likely reasons why a man would hesitate ask out a woman he likes. Maybe he's just anxious/cautious, especially if there are potentially complicating factors like the woman is somebody in his office, or perhaps friends of a mutal friend or family member and he's not sure how that will play out if it doesn't turn out well. Perhaps he wants to do more background research to maximize the chance that the first date will go well. Perhaps he's just distracted and consumed by other issues in his life - work, family issues, health issues, etc, etc.

BTW, wank does't really "pile up" does it? It sort of pools. So the expression should be "puddle of wank."

[E10 Rifle]

It's the anticipation I can't stand

People who use words like "primordial" and "human nature" in discussions of this nature tend to provoke a, well, primordial urge to punch them in the face.