The WTF? Thread

[WOM]

I got to be the officiant at the one that 'stuck' legally, and did the ceremony holding the same leather-bound Dungeon Master's Guide used by one of the grooms when he was the officiant at my wedding.

You don't come across this sentence very often.

[Wouter D]

For those who got married outside, what was your plan B in case of rain?

My wife and I both had a few constraints about the wedding that were non-negotiable. Luckily, they were about separate aspects of the wedding, so they could be combined.

My wife absolutely wanted to get married on the beach. I absolutely wanted to have a big party including all friends and colleagues and extended family. My family is based largely around Den Haag, which is close to the beach. So a wedding at a Scheveningen beach club was a way to give both of us what we wanted.

The beach club has a tent that they can put up in case of bad weather. So the programme could have continued, but inside. In case of sun, we could of course get married with the North Sea as backdrop, which would be better. But plan B would have been not so hard to set up.

In the end, we got crazy lucky with the weather. The day before the wedding was cold and grey. The day after the wedding, we were hit by a nasty heat wave (35+ degrees). But on the day itself, it was 25 degrees centigrade and sunny. Absolutely perfect.

We had an open bar all day (from 2PM until 1:30AM), and 150 guests. The bar tab was around 3800 euros. But we had budgeted* this beforehand, saved up a load of money, and splashed it all on what ended up being the perfect day. I have no regrets. All guests were having a ball. And I can coast on those memories whenever I have a bad day.

*we had also made a plan on how much we would spend on outfits. I stuck almost precisely to the budget. My wife bought a dress that was about twice the price we had planned. But there are moments where any form of frugality would be completely misplaced, and this was clearly one of them.

[willie1foot]

Then if you meet a Canadian over here, and say "my cousin lives in Canada, do you know her?", they look at you all funny...

I used to get that a lot here... 'you must know him, he's Scottish'.

On a 'no fkn idea about anyplace else vein, when we still lived in Scotland, my Gran was coming to Australia to visit my Aunt and her family in Sydney. A frien geve here a cake to drop off at her friend in Perth's place. They're about 4,000 km apart.

[Balderdasha]

For those who got married outside, what was your plan B in case of rain?

I couldn't handle the stress of hosting an event with such a major uncontrollable variable.

We had an indoor option in a very nice room, but preferred the outdoor option if possible. Our wedding was in April and it had been a horrendously cold and icy winter, staying bitter well into the spring, right up until the morning of our wedding. I stood outside the overnight cottage I'd stayed in, in my pyjamas, with a mug of tea, and decided that there was enough sunshine to risk setting up outside. By the time of the ceremony it was absolutely blazing sunshine and half the guests were wearing sunglasses.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Dodgy TV knocks out entire village's broadband connection: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-54239180

[Guy Profumo]

Deputy head of Richmond School killed by cows while walking dog.

It seems Troy McClure was right in that Simpsons film about meat:



https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-...shire-54261829

[pebblethefish]

Sadly, they don't report on whether he was a vegan or not. Now that would be irony.

He also appears to have the top half of Frankie Boyle's head.

[Reality Checkpoint]

We were 4 at my wedding. Well 4 1/2 as the bride was 8 months pregnant.

We had 5, my daughter was three weeks old.

[Balderdasha]

Being pregnant for my wedding was great. It meant that no-one could ask any stupid questions about if I was going to go on a diet. I was only 5.5 months pregnant but as I am so short, I look like a weeble by that point (albeit a weeble in a very pretty dress).

[Nocturnal Submission]

Liquorice-lovers beware: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54269144

[Nefertiti2]

We were 4 at my wedding. Well 4 1/2 as the bride was 8 months pregnant.

Who was the other one? (assuming your daughter was number 3)

[ad hoc]

Who was the other one? (assuming your daughter was number 3)

No my olderdaughter was at school as it was a week day. The other two were a couple of friends who were also the witnesses

[elguapo4]

Liquorice-lovers beware: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-54269144

He had a poor diet and dropped of cardiac arrest in a fast food joint. I personally hate licorice but I think it's being framed here.

[Benjm]

I agree. Nobody would be happier than me to see liquorice sent up the river for a good long time but this doesn't smell right.

[WOM]

No my olderdaughter was at school as it was a week day. The other two were a couple of friends who were also the witnesses

Was anyone holding a shotgun?

[ad hoc]

We did get married because of the impending birth, but not in the usual shotgun stylee. We just wanted to make sure the soon-to-be-human could have a British passport, in those far off days when a British passport seemed of more value than a Romanian one. *reminisces*

[Nocturnal Submission]

He had a poor diet and dropped of cardiac arrest in a fast food joint. I personally hate licorice but I think it's being framed here.

The link between glycyrrhizic acid and hypokalemia seems key here, but you could be right.

Mind you, glycyrrhizic acid sounds like something that one of Putin's cronies would lace your morning cuppa with if he didn't like the cut of your jib. It certainly doesn't sound like something you'd want to consume voluntarily.

[pebblethefish]

glycyrrhizic

Cat walked over your keyboard there mate.

glycyrrhizic

Did it again.

[Sporting]

We did get married because of the impending birth, but not in the usual shotgun stylee. We just wanted to make sure the soon-to-be-human could have a British passport, in those far off days when a British passport seemed of more value than a Romanian one. *reminisces*

I'm glad that my son has a German passport!

[Sporting]

No my olderdaughter was at school as it was a week day. The other two were a couple of friends who were also the witnesses

Surely she could have had the day off for such a soecial day?

[Fussbudget]

Deputy head of Richmond School killed by cows while walking dog.

It seems Troy McClure was right in that Simpsons film about meat:

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-...shire-54261829

Not trying to be the WTF police here but people being killed by cattle isn't all that unusual. The Health and Safety Executive actually consider cows the most dangerous animals in the UK, as they kill 4 or 5 people a year (more than dogs) - mostly farm workers, but a fair few dog walkers as well. Another dog walker was trampled by cows on the Yorkshire Dales a couple of months ago.

[Guy Profumo]

The Black Death?

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/...-massachusetts


Man dies after eating too much liquorice

[ad hoc]

Carphone warehouse

[Nocturnal Submission]

Hmmmmm.

[Sporting]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/20...-what-it-seems

Some have railed against the mandatory use of face masks, attacking them as a muzzle on their civil liberties. Others have civically adopted them without so much as a whimper. And then there are those who have seen the opportunities they present amid the crisis.

Valencia may have lost its bid to become the European Capital of Innovation 2020 – the Belgian city of Leuven claimed the honour – but a councillor from the city in eastern Spain did his hometown proud with a minute-long speech in stunningly fluent English and without the slightest trace of a Spanish accent.

“Valencia and its people are very committed to European innovation and we are at your disposal,” an assured Carlos Galiana told the European commission at the end of his address on Thursday.

The only problem was that, despite the movements of his mouth beneath his mask, the voice was not his and Galiana was being dubbed by a native English speaker.