Things we find irritating in the outside world

[Bill Poster]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I've only just caught up wiht thris thread but my goodness, there is still a looooong way to go down my list of rants. But here are a few:

1. People who resort to road-rage for any minor mistake another driver makes. I just swear at them, but live and let live. We ALL make mistakes.
2. Gym related. People who spend an inordinate time resting on the equipment. A few days ago I times one of these cunts. He spent TWELVE minutes resting on a Lat Pulldown - this when the place was packed. He'd even pulled up the thing that holds your legs down so he could rest his chin on it . After 12 mins I'd had enough and run out of other equipment I could use in the meantime and had a word. He mutters something, quickly does about 6 reps and fucking moves onto another machine and sits his arse down to do the same... I would like to do some exercise buddy - mainly of my fucking finger over the trigger of a gun pointing at your head. See also: tossers flirting with lycra-ed young ladies while sitting on same equipment
3. Gym related #2. Don't bother using the lockers that the gym has helpfully provided. No, instead please use every inch of benchspace to store your stuff. I don't fucking mind getting changed in the 2 sq feet of available floorspace since you and your Naomi Campbell sized luggage are more important than the rest of us, no really I don't...
4. Office. Someone in the kindness of their heart has brought in some sweets or biscuits from their trip. You take the last one. Just how busy and important you must be not to have the time to throw the empty carton/packet/box in the bin or recycling. See also: people who do have the time to wash up a cup/plate/bowl they used for lunch.

[Houdi Elbow]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Gyms are a fertile area for irritations, mainly due to the disproportionate number of macho tossers.

[Mighty Mudhsuden]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

traterello wrote:

People who see you washing your car and say "You can do mine too when you've finished!" before laughing heartily as if they've just said the funniest thing in the history of human civilisation...just fuck right off.

I say that a lot as well. Sometimes I change it to 'will you do mine for a quid?' - is that more or less annoying?

[Heliotrope]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I have to take a 5- to 6-hour car ride tomorrow and back again on Monday, and because my sister is the driver I concede control over the radio. Thing is, she's the kind of person who constantly switches stations, which I find extremely nerve jangling. We're talking changing the station sometimes every minute. Jeez, just locate a decent station and stick with it until we're out of range, and then find a new one.

[Bored Of Education]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

That new wobbly camera work that they do as they don't think we have the attention span to watch something for more than 30 seconds.

When I was a cameraman, I used to film 90 minute lectures "as live" and gradually pull out with the camera and focus in and what not and that was all that was ever needed.

It's bad enough on "yoof" programmes but I noticed on Football Focus this morning that they were doing it on the MArtin Keown interview. Mind you, maybe we don't want to gaze on him for too long

[Guest]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

What IS it about swimming pools that turns people into gormless selfish monsters?

Leaving the locker issue wholly aside, today I experienced:

Three Spanish girls in bikinis, keeping their hair dry, standing around in the middle of a lane, chatting, occasionally feebly splashing a bit if anyone tried to swim past

One old bloke, standing in the middle of a lane and then walking up and down, up and down, again to make sure no one could actually swim in said lane

Three Italian boys, leering at the bikini girls, standing around, although, at the end of a lane, at least, snorting with laughter when a hippo-like form such as mine swam near them. They didn't swim themselves, they just stood around.

And then you get the people who swim slightly slower than you, and who wait till you arrive at the side, then push off, so you have to wait for them to get halfway along or risk bumping into them. And the people who swim slightly faster than you, who wait till you push off from the side, then immediately follow and bump into you and make a great show of overtaking.

People. Cretins

[Mighty Mudhsuden]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Lyra wrote:

Three Spanish girls in bikinis,

Doesn't sound very annoying to me.

[Bill Poster]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I only swim in the pool at my gym when there is an empty lane. It's the only way. I have my blood pressure to consider.

[JtS]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I haven't had a swim since last Novemeber in the Dominican Republic. The local pool in Kentish Town is shut for about 25 years for refurbishment. The Archway pool is a childrens pool and it's way too cold to go to the Hampstead Heath lakes or the Gospel Oak lido.

[Guest]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

People who click 'reply to all' at messages that have been sent to 400 people to tell them of a change of address or whatever. Isn't that more difficult to do than just replying? Good GRIEF

[Reed John]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

The people in my office who engaged in this email chatter yesterday, being sure to send all messages to the ENTIRE company (I guess you have to read it from the bottom).

From: [name redacted](ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 3:39 PM
To: [name redacted](ELS-WSH); [name redacted](ELS-WSH); [name redacted](ELS-WSH); ELS-WSH All Employees

duck duck goose

- [name redacted]

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From: [name redacted](ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 3:37 PM
To: [name redacted](ELS-WSH); [name redacted](ELS-WSH); [name redacted](ELS-WSH); ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: RE: REALLY FINAL Notice about geese

Stop sending me these messages.

-[name redacted, although I like this guy and am glad he said something]

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From: [name redacted] (ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 3:34 PM
To: [name redacted](ELS-WSH); [name redacted](ELS-WSH); ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: RE:REALLY FINAL Notice about geese

Well, I could have my son come down there with his shotgun. We usually have a couple packages of goose breast in the freezer and we're out right now. So he could take care of the situation while pleasing his mother.

I guess we belong to Obama's bitter small-town voters out here in the country clinging to our guns and religion. The religion that says "Why God??? Why did you have to make goose breast so tasty with a dried cherry-port reduction and some rosemary and morels????"

-[name redacted]

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From: [name redacted](ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 2:35 PM
To: [name redacted](ELS-WSH); ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: RE: FINAL Notice about geese

According to the Fish and Wildlife Service it is against the law to remove the geese and their nest unless you have a permit. Removal of them should be researched. I would be happy to do this to insure that they are not hurt in the process.

-[name redacted]

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From: [name redacted] (HR PERSON) (ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 2:24 PM
To: ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: FINAL Notice about geese

[name redacted] is on business travel today. She has contacted Building Management. The appropriate parties have been contacted and the problem is being addressed. Thank you.

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From: [name redacted](ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 2:19 PM
To: [name redacted](ELS-WSH); [name redacted] (ELS-WSH); [name redacted] (ELS-WSH); ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: RE: Watch out for these geese

That's right, and after the vicious goose attacks on two IMNG staffers this morning, we have confirmation from the White House that these are not truly Canadian geese, but Iranian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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From: [name redacted](ELS-WSH)
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 2:14 PM
To: [name redacted]; [name redacted]; ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: RE: Watch out for these geese

A growing trend in our country -- blame the geese.

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From: [name redacted]

Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 11:12 AM
To: [name redacted]; ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: RE: Watch out for these geese

Stupid nesting decision by the geese, if they are indeed, nesting. They’ll need to bring those baby goslings to a pond or other water source after they are hatched in May – how will they cross Twinbrook Pkwy to get to the Metro Parking lot water runoff pond (closest water source I’m aware of) ?

-[name redacted]

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From: [name redacted]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2008 2:00 PM
To: ELS-WSH All Employees
Subject: Watch out for these geese

Beware the pair of Canadian Geese in the alley that runs along the back of the USP building to Twinbrook Pkwy. They must be nesting, because they will confront you and run you out of there.

-[name redacted]

Aftar all of that, we all got the following email from the HR person.
This is a reminder about the use of the ELS-WSH ALL EMPLOYEES e-mail address group. The use of the electronic mail system is reserved solely for the conduct of business at the company.

If you have questions regarding the appropriate use of E-mail, contact Human Resources or the IT Manager. Thanks.

[Purves Grundy]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

What IS it about swimming pools that turns people into gormless selfish monsters?

Nothing. But it's self-selecting. Only gormless people would go anywhere near a swimming pool. People always go on about how clever dolphins are. You never see them climbing out of the sea to go for a walk down the street, do you?

As a species we left the oceans behind millions of years ago. And with good reason.

Know your medium and stick to it.

[Purves Grundy]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Something else that pisses me off: not noticing a thread that's been around for ages, which means that when you spot a pale, bookish young Manic Street Preachers fan advising other people to "enjoy their youth" it's a good two weeks too late to have a good topical guffaw.

[DCI Harry Batt]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I enjoyed that email exchange, I wish we'd get stuff like that here.

[tracteurgarcon]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Mighty Mudhsuden wrote:

traterello wrote:

People who see you washing your car and say "You can do mine too when you've finished!" before laughing heartily as if they've just said the funniest thing in the history of human civilisation...just fuck right off.

I say that a lot as well. Sometimes I change it to 'will you do mine for a quid?' - is that more or less annoying?

Depends on whether you laugh at your own supposed sparkling wit as you say it.

[Guest]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Similarly, the fuckin' original wits who say things to me like 'How's the weather up there?' Barstool-sized motherfuckers.

[Bill Poster]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I had a meeting recently with someone from the Met Office who was about 6ft 6. The temptation to ask him how the weather was up there was almost overwhelming... sorry.

[blameless]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

That new wobbly camera work that they do as they don't think we have the attention span to watch something for more than 30 seconds.

When I was a cameraman, I used to film 90 minute lectures "as live" and gradually pull out with the camera and focus in and what not and that was all that was ever needed.

Word. My brother is a film editor (and part-time cameraman too), and jerky camerawork/cutting drives him demented - he says it originated with someone trying to hide the fact that they were useless at zooming and panning and as a result they accidentally created a new style.

[erwin]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

.

1) Portuguese people who say to me, when it's cold and rainy: "You must be used to this." (me being English, like). No ... I've been out of the country for 25 years ... but I smile diplomatically as if it's the first time I've heard it (haven't lost my English reserve).

2) A couple of teenage girls who chatter (loudly) for the whole of the 30 minutes it takes the train to get to Lisbon in the morning (when one might have a hangover). They're always in my carriage (I could change, I suppose, but I know I can get a seat in this one), and they re-create their respective previous days for each other, quoting what seems like every dialogue they had verbatim: "So I said ... so she said ... so I said ... so she said" (etc, etc). (Thank God for the iPod). I've considered ways of getting my own back - sitting behind them and whistling loudly, or throwing bits of paper at them.

.

[WOM]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

I would be happy to do this to insure that they are not hurt in the process.

People who use 'insure' for 'ensure'.

[Reed John]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Perhaps she meant insure, as in, she's willing to pay Lloyds for some sort of insurance policy on the geese.

[WOM]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

That's the sort of come-back my wife makes when she's in one of her looking-for-a-ruck moods.

I usually pause for a while and say "Yes. I hadn't considered that." Then go down the basement to sort my screw jars.

[Gyuri]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

That's the sort of come-back. . .

People who hyphenate words that should not be hyphenated and then call other people out for their language-related follies. . .and, of course, people (like me) who call other people out for their hyphenating issues while having less-than-clean hands with that problem.

Actually, I find irritating all language-related pedantry outside of the schoolhouse.

[Hofzinser]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

Actually, I find irritating all language-related pedantry outside of the schoolhouse.

And here was me thinking you were fitting in so well with otf so far...

[Gyuri]

Things we find irritating in the outside world

And here was me thinking you were fitting in so well with otf so far...

I know, I know. I debated the inclusion of that sentence for fear of being shunned, but, well, it wouldn't be the first shunning I've received.

To expand on my comment, pointing out someone's grammatical or word-choice error doesn't irritate me if there's actual confusion as to what was meant by the speaker/writer. If it's clear what was meant (as with "insure"/"ensure"), then the comment adds no clarity, and increased clarity, I thought, was the purpose of all this fancy language-learnin' in the first place.