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Things we find irritating in the outside world

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    #26
    Things we find irritating in the outside world

    People who get the lift to the first or second floors of my office building.

    Fucking take the fucking stairs you lazy fuckers (*).

    (*) Elderly, infirm, with luggage or pregnant excepted.

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      #27
      Things we find irritating in the outside world

      Similar to ian's shop rant, our local shop has a sandwich counter. The lunch time procedure is simple: queue up at sandwich counter; order sandwich and tea/coffee. Take these to till; queue up and pay. Couldn't be easier.

      Unless you wear a high-vis vest. They work their own system which involves getting to the top of the queue to pay, then saying 'I'll have a cup of tea too'. To make matters worse, the person at the till then rambles over to make the cup of tea. On a busy day your whole lunch break could be taken up queueing, whilst mumbling under your breath.

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        #28
        Things we find irritating in the outside world

        People who schedule conference calls at 12:30pm on a Friday. Recurring. Every damn friday.

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          #29
          Things we find irritating in the outside world

          People who park outside the back door of the flats where I live, on the yellow-striped slice of tarmac that exists between the two bays of parking spaces.

          I don't even have a car any more, and it doesn't affect my life at all. But every time I see some cunt parked there I can only imagine them being the sort of shit-for-soul cunt that tries to get on a bus before people have got off. Or, I agree, not having a fucking clue about how to use a shop efficiently.

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            #30
            Things we find irritating in the outside world

            People who think that if they walk straight at you, as you walk along the pavement towards them, you will throw yourself into the road - into the path of heavy goods vehicles, if necessary - just so that, in their regality, they don't have to deviate from their glorious chosen trajectory. Presumably they'd also like us to wring our caps and tug our forelocks for the honour of being barged into the street by such noble archtypes.

            IT'S CALLED LATERAL FUCKING MOVEMENT! CUNTS!!!

            I dunno - maybe it's just Surrey where this mentality exists ...but I doubt it.

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              #31
              Things we find irritating in the outside world

              I do that sometimes just to see what people do. Sorry.

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                #32
                Things we find irritating in the outside world

                evilC wrote:

                IT'S CALLED LATERAL FUCKING MOVEMENT!
                I haven't got a knob on my side.

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                  #33
                  Things we find irritating in the outside world

                  The 355 from Brixton. It starts at Brixton, but in the one stop from where the service starts to Brixton Tube it always manages to disappear into some kind of Brixton triangle. I can understand buses not sticking to the timetable during rush hour, but at 10pm it pisses me off. Even worse is that just as often as it arrives late, it will fucking leave early. As a result I end up spending 20 mins waiting for a bus, listening to some fucking crazy woman busking, using a charity collection tin as a bongo drum. Non stop. For twenty fucking minutes.

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                    #34
                    Things we find irritating in the outside world

                    So I just got back from the pool. Where it happened again.

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                      #35
                      Things we find irritating in the outside world

                      Have you tried getting a locker all the way at the far edge of the row?

                      Tea tastes like stewed up compost. People who drink it are in no position to comment on matters of taste.
                      That's true for most teabag teas (esp Lipton), loose-leaf is the way to go.

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                        #36
                        Things we find irritating in the outside world

                        Yes. I did today. I think it attracts them more.

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                          #37
                          Things we find irritating in the outside world

                          How about saying "Oi, weirdo, fuck off"?

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                            #38
                            Things we find irritating in the outside world

                            If there's one thing that is guaranteed to make steam come out of my ears, it's people that use railway station ticket machines when either:

                            a. They're just checking out pricing options

                            or

                            b. They don't even know what ticket they want.

                            These ticket machines should have an electric cattle-prod built into them, which stuns them after ninety seconds. If you don't know what ticket you want, go to the ticket office and ask.

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                              #39
                              Things we find irritating in the outside world

                              I do that.

                              Sorry.

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                                #40
                                Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                An electric cattle prod should be the answer to all problems.

                                'I'll have that....and then I'll have that...'

                                Shuffffzzzz!

                                (Lazy-eyed fucker strolls onto tram insouciantly while seven people shuffle behind him)

                                Shuffffzzzz!

                                (Loud-mouthed cunt on public transport blahs into mobile whilst showing the large amount of attention-seeking swear words he can fit into even the most smallest phrase)

                                Shuffffzzzz!

                                EvilC's lament over human missile guidance systems who want you as a target unless you're prepared to move out of their way is entirely understandable and this phenomenon is a regular occurance in any town or city. There, people whose common sense left them years ago (leaving behind notes that say 'you're on your own, son') choose a straight, unyielding course that demands you make way for them. In these cases, eletric cattle prods would be a second-hand course of action next to the real solution: shoving the cunts under a bus.

                                I would never do that and I would urge other people not to, but your imagination, as usual, provides what might have been.

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                                  #41
                                  Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                  Lyra wrote:
                                  "You were the chubby brunette on the N171 last friday. I was the guy who sat next to you - I had a nervous twitch and was wearing odd shoes. I kept staring at you with one bloodshot eye but was too shy to ask for your number - all I could do was mutter to myself. Drink?"
                                  Brilliant.

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                                    #42
                                    Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                    I lovr the fact that people are realising in themselves that they do these things and are apologising.

                                    We could achieve world peace this way.

                                    I also like the fact that I posted a stream of consciousness pissed rant two days ago and only noticed it now ("Pissed? Really? Get away")

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                                      #43
                                      Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                      People are apologising, but are they saying they are going to stop?

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                                        #44
                                        Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                        Cashiers at supermarket who waffle about "them computers, I don't understand them" and feel the need to have a chat with the customer about it whilst there is a rather long queue. I'm all for a little chat when it's quiet, I'm on chatty terms with a few M&S cashiers in Sale but come on part-time middle-aged lady, you're good egg for sure but just get a bit more training will ya...

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                                          #45
                                          Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                          With respect to the filthy toilet thing, I occasionally find that if I've spattered the seat, and I'm not wearing my slippers, the most expedient thing to do is lift my foot and give the seat a quick wipe with my sock.

                                          Does that make me a bad person?

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                                            #46
                                            Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                            For some reason, no idea why, I'm really hating people who talk about "demons" when referring to mental health. We've just about got beyond the idea that people have medical conditions and are not possessed by evil spirits. Why does this fucking expression survive?

                                            I really hate it when people who are arguing for something I believe in ruin the argument by making up figures. For instance, someone thought it would be a good idea to fight cuts to further education by making a few up. So the course I'm doing now (which cost £220) would apparently cost £900 if cuts were implemented. This did no good at all. The minority who believed it understandably thought "maybe we shouldn't be throwing money at this inefficient bunch of clowns" after all.

                                            Actually, extend that to all examples of people on your side in an argument speaking rubbish of any sort.

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                                              #47
                                              Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                              Lyra wrote:
                                              Because it's cathartic to write them down.

                                              OK, right, so, you're a person and you go for a swim. So far so nomal. You walk into the changing room and you see row after row after row of lockers. Probably 6 or 700 of them. Of which maybe...14 to 20 are in use. There are *entire blocks* of empty lockers. So where do you choose to store your stuff? One of the 650 nice empty lockers each surrounded by 50 more empty ones? Or one of the 15 or so that is RIGHT NEXT TO one that is in use BY ME.
                                              don't even care about that! I just want to know WHY.
                                              The way around it is to take nine pound coins and to "book out" the eight lockers around yours. However I think that is probably quite selfish and totally against the ethos of this thread. You'd also look ridiculous considering the amount of 'plastic jewelry' you'd have to wear.

                                              My main pet hate are the drivers who park on the cycle lane near where I live when there is a perfectly good car park yards away as the drivers are too lazy to walk.

                                              What makes their decision more ridiculous is that they are parking outside the gym....

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                                                #48
                                                Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                                Ah, now, car drivers. I was reminded of this earlier this evening.

                                                The road that I live in is a one-way street, but it is also right next to Brighton railway station. Something that makes steam come out of my ears is drivers that reverse the whole length of the road, by-passing the one way system because they are utterly selfish cunts.

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                                                  #49
                                                  Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                                  With you on the 'demons', Tubby. Combatting that kind of thinking costs mental health communications services on average £38 per patient, literally.

                                                  Fucking old biddy trolley suitcases dragged by the young on the fucking tube, the cunts, cause it's not occurred to them there are PEOPLE AROUND. I'd already swung my leg back to hoof the 36th one I'd almost been toppled by the other day, before I caught myself and took a few deep breaths.

                                                  The whole system is already impossible to use if you're incapacitated in any way, so I don't see why these perfectly agile mimsies should get away with luggage-based malingering. Pick it up! Carry it properly! Enjoy your youth!

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                                                    #50
                                                    Things we find irritating in the outside world

                                                    Women pushing prams around the streets really fucking slowly, and expecting the God-given right to manoeuvre over any sliver of pavement one may or may not be currently walking over with a meaningful, brisk step.

                                                    Does this make me a cunt?

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