This evening before I settled down to watch the Eurovision, I nipped up the road to my local supermarket, which is in a shopping centre. (400 metres away)
I knew I was going to have to take some money out for Lemsip etc, so I did the hole in the wall thing, and being a bit ill, wasnt too sure of the number I put in, although I dont fuck about.
So, the 'proceesing' thing came up, and I waited, and waited... and 5 minutes later, I am getting frantic, as I did the equivalent of coming out with slippers on (no mobile phone), so I waited, and waited.
There were no people about who were in charge, so I took a chance, and ran into the B&Q next door, and stated my case concisely, and for once without accent (very Glaswegian when excited)... 'Look, My card has been swallowed in the hole next door, but it hasnt. Yes I know its not your problem, can you phone the shopping centre manager, and say somethin, as if I stay here any longer, and my card pops out or worse, stays in, and connects, I am fucked, thanks' and ran out.
Fortunately, no-one there, and the same 'processing' stuff going on.
I waited about 10 seconds and a supervisor from B&Q came out and said, 'this is not our problem' and I explained that I understand, but I am not leaving this hole until a) my card comes out, or b) hell freezes over, as I know what this fucking area is like.
She agreed and called the necessary people in the shopping centre, after telling me that she KNEW they would take no action, to which I said yes, thanks and I agree, but do you see my predicament. The call she made of course came to nothing, as the management wanted no part of it, whilst taking photographs of me on the webcam (as she commentated) to make sure I wasnt a nutter. As my nose was almost to the point of streaming, I shudder to think of what they saw.
I digress. They said 'bollocks' and she relayed the message. As I mentioned I didnt have my mobile phone on me, she gave me her work phone to cancel my card, which was nice... so I phoned the number, and for once thank FUCK for options, because as I was just about to put my details in, the machine screen changed.
So I tried to take money out, and the screen went FUCKING MENTAL, fortunately while she was still standing there, and it said 'Sorry, we cant do that for you, sorry again. However we can sing a song for you on TV and pretend its in your interest'.
So, I am standing there with this lady, who is passing me tissues from godknowswhere, and then, my card domes out, and I whip it out fast.
Then sling it in the next door one, and do the business... all fine.
When I look at my card, I find there is a perfect circle drilled through it, with burnt edges.
My questions are multitudinous, but the main one is this: what the fuck is a laser doing in an ATM?
I knew I was going to have to take some money out for Lemsip etc, so I did the hole in the wall thing, and being a bit ill, wasnt too sure of the number I put in, although I dont fuck about.
So, the 'proceesing' thing came up, and I waited, and waited... and 5 minutes later, I am getting frantic, as I did the equivalent of coming out with slippers on (no mobile phone), so I waited, and waited.
There were no people about who were in charge, so I took a chance, and ran into the B&Q next door, and stated my case concisely, and for once without accent (very Glaswegian when excited)... 'Look, My card has been swallowed in the hole next door, but it hasnt. Yes I know its not your problem, can you phone the shopping centre manager, and say somethin, as if I stay here any longer, and my card pops out or worse, stays in, and connects, I am fucked, thanks' and ran out.
Fortunately, no-one there, and the same 'processing' stuff going on.
I waited about 10 seconds and a supervisor from B&Q came out and said, 'this is not our problem' and I explained that I understand, but I am not leaving this hole until a) my card comes out, or b) hell freezes over, as I know what this fucking area is like.
She agreed and called the necessary people in the shopping centre, after telling me that she KNEW they would take no action, to which I said yes, thanks and I agree, but do you see my predicament. The call she made of course came to nothing, as the management wanted no part of it, whilst taking photographs of me on the webcam (as she commentated) to make sure I wasnt a nutter. As my nose was almost to the point of streaming, I shudder to think of what they saw.
I digress. They said 'bollocks' and she relayed the message. As I mentioned I didnt have my mobile phone on me, she gave me her work phone to cancel my card, which was nice... so I phoned the number, and for once thank FUCK for options, because as I was just about to put my details in, the machine screen changed.
So I tried to take money out, and the screen went FUCKING MENTAL, fortunately while she was still standing there, and it said 'Sorry, we cant do that for you, sorry again. However we can sing a song for you on TV and pretend its in your interest'.
So, I am standing there with this lady, who is passing me tissues from godknowswhere, and then, my card domes out, and I whip it out fast.
Then sling it in the next door one, and do the business... all fine.
When I look at my card, I find there is a perfect circle drilled through it, with burnt edges.
My questions are multitudinous, but the main one is this: what the fuck is a laser doing in an ATM?
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