Tipping etiquette in America

[Spearmint Rhino]

I've been to America loads of times in the past on a work trip, but usually pretty much everything has been taken care of by a record company person waving a credit card around and babysitting my every need.

In about a month's time, Mrs Rhino and I are going there alone, for a proper holiday.

I have to admit I'm slightly terrified by the whole etiquette around tipping, which is much different from the UK.

On previous visits, I've already had a couple of cringey moments. For example, the time at a gig in San Francisco where I thought I was doing the correct 'when in Rome' thing by allowing the barman to keep the change, but the change was so insultingly small that he refused to serve me next time until I slipped him a note explaining that I was British and didn't understand the local customs, and gave him a double-tip second time around.

Or the time... well, times plural, when I've been checking into a hotel and a bellboy has asked to help me with my bags, but I've said "No thanks, it's OK, I'm fine" (because my bags weren't too heavy at all and I could manage perfectly well on my own), and they've looked at me like I was a piece of shit on their shoe.

So, Americans or frequent visitors, what are the procedures, and suitable amounts of cash (not too high, not too low, nicely average), for the following scenarios:

Someone delivering food to your hotel room
Someone carrying your bags to your room
Someone serving you drinks at a bar
Someone serving you a meal at a restaurant table

...and, because those are the only scenarios I can envisage, what others should I look out for?

I'm thinking of that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode where Larry David apparently commits a massive faux pas by failing to tip a 'team leader' or something at a restaurant, or a 'concierge' who finds him his table, or whatever.

We don't do this shit to anything like the same extent in the UK (apart from waiters in restaurants, and maybe room service), so it's freaking me out somewhat. I'm envisaging having to walk around with bundles of small-denomination banknotes at all times to cover unforeseen tipping eventualities.

Help...

[Wyatt Earp]

Tipping etiquette in America

Don't forget the woman (it's always a woman; in fact, it's always a woman whose first language is Spanish) who cleans your hotel room. That's the one I keep tending to forget, because of course they and I rarely actually meet. I usually remember at the end of the trip, and leave a giant tip, but sometimes I don't, and feel terrible when it hits me, halfway to O'Hare or wherever.

You don't drive, right? So valet parking won't arise. I'm still not sure what the deal's meant to be there, so I probably vastly overtip.

Restaurant tips run at 15% minimum. Barmen seem to expect about the same: microbrew beers for me and a mate at $3.50 each and I'd leave an extra buck (your drinkage may vary). It's nothing like the Franco-Spanish business of simply rounding up to the next Euro: it's proper serious tipping.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Tipping etiquette in America

What, so you have to leave some money for the cleaner, every day? How much? And how do you make it obvious that it's for her, and not just... some money you've left lying around?

We might end up driving, actually. I don't drive, but Mrs Rhino does, and we might get a hire car for some of the trip.

[EIM]

Tipping etiquette in America

I only tip the cleaner at the end of my stay. And bartenders get a dollar a drink or thereabouts.

[Wyatt Earp]

Tipping etiquette in America

Yeah, a couple of dollars every morning I reckon. I think if you leave it on the bed or somewhere, as opposed to a table, she'll guess correctly it's for her.

Valet parking will only be an issue in city-centre hotels; hotels in smaller towns or suburbs, and motels, will all have vast lots.

[Jimmy Bignutz]

Tipping etiquette in America

I didn't realise you're supposed to tip people at the bar. Fuck me, it's a minefield, isn't it?

[Wyatt Earp]

Tipping etiquette in America

The trouble with tipping at the end of your stay is that a lot of people do that, and this is known, so often the manager will fix the rota so she herself is down to clean the rooms of guests who are due to check out. I read that somewhere.

[Ginger Yellow]

Tipping etiquette in America

Don't forget the woman (it's always a woman; in fact, it's always a woman whose first language is Spanish) who cleans your hotel room. That's the one I keep tending to forget, because of course they and I rarely actually meet. I usually remember at the end of the trip, and leave a giant tip, but sometimes I don't, and feel terrible when it hits me, halfway to O'Hare or wherever.

Yeah, this one gets me all the time, and it makes me feel even more terrible than when I forget to tip at other times, as the pay and conditions are even worse for cleaning staff.

And how do you make it obvious that it's for her, and not just... some money you've left lying around?

Traditionally you put it on the pillow.

[Wyatt Earp]

Tipping etiquette in America

Yeah, the pillow, that's it. It always feels vaguely intimate and illicit for that reason, like discreetly paying a courtesan. Albeit a very cheap one.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Tipping etiquette in America

See, I wouldn't have known about that. At all. So, already this thread has helped me out massively...

[San Bernardhinault]

Tipping etiquette in America

Jesus. How many times have I been to the US. And I've never known about tipping the cleaning staff.

[sw2borshch]

Tipping etiquette in America

Really a dollar a drink? Cripes.

In news that will disgust many, I went over the Pizza Hut near where I work on Tuesday in an attempt to get away from my colleagues for a bit and read a paper in relative peace. I had the all you can eat and a drink, so it was £8.50 and told the waitress to keep the change from the tenner I gave her and was nearly reduced to tears myself due to the outpouring of gratitude from her. I can only assume other Pizza Hut patrons are as tight as a gnat’s chuff.

[Er Liquidatore]

Tipping etiquette in America

What the fuck? All of this is completely mental.

[Ginger Yellow]

Tipping etiquette in America

The trouble with tipping at the end of your stay is that a lot of people do that, and this is known, so often the manager will fix the rota so she herself is down to clean the rooms of guests who are due to check out.

The class war in action, folks.

[MsD]

Tipping etiquette in America

From having worked as a chambermaid, I always tip them generously ... yes, put it in under the pillow or in the bed. If you leave on the table passing porters and room service staff will nick it and come out whistling ("just popped in to use the loo") , and they already get tipped enough.

I used to appreciate being left nice toiletries, books and magazines, if in pristine condition. (Don't assume they can't read). Leave near the bin, or with a note, to avoid confusion with lost property.

And yes, if you tip at the end of your stay, a whole load of staff will be circling like vultures for that tip (and any leftover goodies).

[Hofzinser]

Tipping etiquette in America

I could really have done with this thread before I went to New York last year.

[Anton Gramscescu]

Tipping etiquette in America

Believe it or not, the tipping the cleaning staff is one of those Canada v. US things. It is not a common practice here (not unknown, just not a universal).

Re: bellhops. $1-$2 to anyone who touches your luggage is a rule of thumb at most hotels.

Where are you going while in America, SR?

[Twisted Sister]

Tipping etiquette in America

I went to LA in 2004. I gave a cab driver a tip. He then started to rant at me for it not being enough. By this time I had had enough of the US and asked him how much he was expecting. He replied that this was not the point. He told me that he had taken a shortcut and thought he would get a bigger tip. My lady pulled me out of the car as it was getting heated. Anyway…he drove off. It turns out we were a mile away from where we wanted to go. So….he did not know where he was going and wanted a bigger tip.

Tipping in bars did my head in a bit.

Next stop was Canada….I could relax. Sometimes being English is a pain in the ass.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Tipping etiquette in America

Antonio Gramsci wrote:

Where are you going while in America, SR?

We're doing a few days in San Francisco (in the actual hotel from Hitchcock's Vertigo!), then a 12-hour train south through California, then a few days in Los Angeles. And catching a few gigs while we're there, hopefully (She & Him, Smokey Robinson, Miike Snow).

[Anton Gramscescu]

Tipping etiquette in America

Cabs - round to the nearest $5 or 10%, whichever is larger.

Restaurants - 20%

Liq, it's only mental if you ignore what you're paying for the actual service. Stuff is cheap in the US, mainly because they service staff get paid nothing. The tip is a way of making up for it and you end up with a price not far removed from what you'd pay anywhere else.

[evilC]

Tipping etiquette in America

This really is all quite perplexing.

Next, we'll be supposed to tip door staff at nightclubs for making sure we didn't get mugged and the shit kicked out of us whilst in the club.

Go on... tell me that really happens already.

It's just all so tricky and convoluted. Can't they all just bump service prices up by 15%?

[Er Liquidatore]

Tipping etiquette in America

Yeah, the pillow, that's it. It always feels vaguely intimate and illicit for that reason, like discreetly paying a courtesan. Albeit a very cheap one.

Which can surely only heighten the frisson, no? You dirty old dog you.

[Spearmint Rhino]

Tipping etiquette in America

OK, a couple of other things. You don't tip the person behind the hotel reception counter who checks you in, surely? Or do you?

What about the guy (if it's a fairly grand hotel) who holds the big front door open for you as you arrive? Do you have to stuff a fistful of dollars into his gloved hand too?

I feel like Steve Buscemi in Reservoir Dogs asking all this.

[Anton Gramscescu]

Tipping etiquette in America

Spearmint Rhino wrote:

OK, a couple of other things. You don't tip the person behind the hotel reception counter who checks you in, surely? Or do you?

What about the guy (if it's a fairly grand hotel) who holds the big front door open for you as you arrive? Do you have to stuff a fistful of dollars into his gloved hand too?

No to both of these.

Raising service prices equally would take away the incentive for consistent pleasant and would be considered highly un-American (seriously).

Sounds like a great trip, SR. SF is fantastic that time of year.

[Ginger Yellow]

Tipping etiquette in America

I think you are supposed to tip the person who hails you a cab, though.