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Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

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    Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

    Invited over for a dinner to your woman's friend and her lawyer husband. Getting mighty drunk, on the way back from the toilet to the living room you pass a fish bowl, stop, figure: why should the fish be alone, and not where the party's at? You scoop it up with the half ful wine glass you hold in your hand, get back to the hosts and your woman, hold the glass up, with aquarium water / red wine mix and a gold fish, urge them to toast for ”Fisherman's Friend”, then have a sip. The fish jumps out, bounces on the floor towards the kitchen. Lawyer dude and wife's kid goes nuts, starts to cry.

    Fish is OK. It behaved weird for a week, floating to the surface, belly up, then down again, but it's fine now.

    #2
    Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

    You see, this is exactly the kind of thing we've missed so badly in your absence.

    It's a good thing we don't have any pets, though.

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      #3
      Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

      I wouldn't worry, it will have taught the kids a valuable lesson. And if they are that uptight, you don't want to get invited back anyway.

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        #4
        Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

        Fish is OK. It behaved weird for a week, floating to the surface, belly up, then down again, but it's fine now.
        Errrr...

        Are you sure it's the same fish?

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          #5
          Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

          When I was 16 Myself and my circle of friends were all taking it in turns to throw 16th Birthday parties. My own featured puke on the walls, a crate of Grolsch mysteriously geting delivered half way through, Raki spiked puinch and the bannister getting ripped off the wall.

          However at my mate Zak's party there was all sorts of problems. First a fireworks display that went awry and ended with lots of small fires having to be put out. Then someone fell through the tropical fish tank, shattering it leading to fish living in cups, glasses, whatever was at hand and a no visit to hospital for the inexplicably unscathed reveller. Zak's parents were very cool about it which earned them legendary status at the time.

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            #6
            Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

            There's a watersports-related tribute thread crying out to be made...

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              #7
              Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

              What were the kids doing at the dinner party? Kids have no place at dinner parties.

              Floating goldfish don't always die - it's something to do with their swim bladder, and can be rectified. Not sure how they cope with hangovers, though.

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                #8
                Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

                King Mob wrote:
                What were the kids doing at the dinner party? Kids have no place at dinner parties.

                Floating goldfish don't always die - it's something to do with their swim bladder, and can be rectified. Not sure how they cope with hangovers, though.
                Yeah, I once found Mrs Rhino's goldfish floating on its side, apparently dead. On the off-chance, I prodded it with a pencil and it came back to life, swam around for a few seconds, and then floated to the top again. So I leapt into action and put it in some fresh water (this, apparently, was the problem: we'd let it fester in its own stagnant muck for too long), and it's been fine ever since.

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                  #9
                  Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

                  Ironically, kids at dinner parties are like goldfish out of water.

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                    #10
                    Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

                    I once went to someone's twenty-first birthday party that ended up in a curry house in South Wales, and following an over-enthusiastic poppadom fight someone tipped the entire contents of their plate (curry, rice, the lot) into the large fish tank behind our table.

                    After a brief stunned silence none of us hung around long enough to observe the effects that it had on the fish.

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                      #11
                      Ways to piss off the host and not be invited back

                      don't ever leave us again ganja, I'm going to be thrown out of the library for laughing at that story.

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