"Look into my thighs..."

[Caliban]

Well, I qualified! I am now a fully trained-up member of the HypnoBirthing Institute and have a certificate and everything to prove it, and I'm disproportionately pleased about it.

So if any OTFers are up the duff, expect big discounts from me. I'm also selling cloth nappies as well now, so what with the wedding planning books I'm a bit of a one-stop-shop.

[Spearmint Rhino]

"Look into my thighs..."

Congratulations. On the thread title, as much as anything else.

[Caliban]

"Look into my thighs..."

Not mine, sadly. Another OTFer came up with that one on the old OTF, but I can't remember who.

[ursus arctos]

"Look into my thighs..."

Terrific news, Callie. I'm certain that you are going to be able to help a considerable number of people.

And what SR said about the title. You might want to keep that line in reserve for use with petrified clients; I can't imagine them not cracking up.

[Caliban]

"Look into my thighs..."

I actually trained one couple while I was waiting for certification, and she had her baby two weeks ago - a three hour labour, at home in water, and she's a very happy lady.

So far, I like this job.

[Ginger Yellow]

"Look into my thighs..."

All glory to the Hypnocaliban.

[Stumpy Pepys]

"Look into my thighs..."

Caliban yesterday

[Er Liquidatore]

"Look into my thighs..."

I can't see that picture, has she got good thighs?

[Stumpy Pepys]

"Look into my thighs..."

Hmmpph. It's a picture of Kevin Eldon's evil hypnotist from Big Train.

[hobbes]

"Look into my thighs..."

Nice work Callie. Congratulations.

[evilC]

"Look into my thighs..."

So does this make you a midwife or a hypno-wife?

[Bill Poster]

"Look into my thighs..."

Well done Callie!

I was going to make some glib remark about us both having to deal with a bunch of cunts at work, but... oh well I've done it now.

I have a few colleagues (nice people!) in the family way that I will try and recommend your services to.

[Eggchaser]

"Look into my thighs..."

[beak]

"Look into my thighs..."

Bill Poster wrote:

I have a few colleagues (nice people!) in the family way that I will try and recommend your services to.

"i've heard this guy's good - he posts on a football-related internet messageboard!"

[evilC]

"Look into my thighs..."

I deliberately *didn't* use a picture of the Hypnotoad, Eggchaser!

Now Cali is going to take that the wrong way, get all upset and hypnotise the mother completely the wrong way. Instead of the yucky-thing slipping out quickly and painlessly, the mother will hold onto it until the 93rd trimester, when it will be sufficiently developed to be able to fend for itself as soon as it is born.

You never know - it could catch on.