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People who never stop working

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    People who never stop working

    Why is it some people can never let go of their job. They have to carry on doing it wherever they are. I remember a documentry recently about Health and Safety officers, in which one particularly fastidious fart was walking around his kitchen highlighting potential dangers that could occur such as sharp knives under soap suds in the sink. They then spoke to his wife, who said she was happy that he was always looking out for her, but you could see her eyes her eyes were glazed over with sadness, boredom and regret for a life wasted married to a tedious little clipboard jockey.
    Anyway that's her own fucking fault and not what I originally posted this for. The people who never stop working who really get on my b-cups are impressionists. They really are the most annoying fucks you could possibly expect to see on television. No matter what show they are on they can't resist chucking in a few cameo performances from their repetoire of bell-ends, answering questions in the voice of Tony Blair or Gordon Ramsey for no good reason or relevance, just to remind everybody what it is that they actually do.
    Unfortunately, away from the helpful make-up artists on their own shows, they just look like a twat doing a funny voice. They don't look and sometimes don't even sound like the people they are taking off, they think it's enough to caricature a distinctive mannerism. Even if they wore a t-shirt with the name of the person they are mimicking on it, you'd struggle to recognise them. Alistair Macgowan doesn't look like anybody without a heap of prosphetics and wigs, and Rory Bremner and John Culshaw just look like each other, which is no use to anybody.
    I don't know of any other showbiz types that do this. Singers don't put everything they say in a tuneful voice, dancers don't spend all day and night in tap shoes carrying a cane. Why can't these people just put it to one side unless it is truly necessary for them to do an impression. Or alternatively just keep goading some vicious guard dogs until one of them decides to rip their larynx out.

    #2
    People who never stop working

    Brian Blessed shouts all the time, and that's where your little theory falls down. Agreed on impressionists though, however I'm going to insist on keeping Dean Lennox Kelly 'cos I like his De Niro.

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      #3
      People who never stop working

      You ought to see Crusoe's De Niro - it's stunning!

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        #4
        People who never stop working

        Brian Blessed isn't a professional shouter though, unless he's a town crier somewhere, he's just an annoying hairy cock who like projecting his big booming voice whenever possible.

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          #5
          People who never stop working

          Blessed isn't a professional shouter? I take it you've not seen anything from his enviable body of work then.....

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            #6
            People who never stop working

            Gooordon's Aliiiiiyyeeeeeevvveee?

            The people who never stop working who really get on my b-cups are impressionists. They really are the most annoying fucks you could possibly expect to see on television.

            Prime rule: when an impressionist starts his act by saying 'I'm (insert celeb being impersonated)...' you know he's fucked. If you're good enough to assume the mannerisms of a celeb for entertainment purposes, you don't need to signpost it.

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              #7
              People who never stop working

              Toby Gymshorts wrote:
              Blessed isn't a professional shouter? I take it you've not seen anything from his enviable body of work then.....
              The episode of HIGNFW with Blessed as host was a prime example of this. Although I found it quite funny (he said shamefully). Merton did rip him over his incessant shouting.

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                #8
                People who never stop working

                ian.64 wrote:
                Prime rule: when an impressionist starts his act by saying 'I'm (insert celeb being impersonated)...' you know he's fucked. If you're good enough to assume the mannerisms of a celeb for entertainment purposes, you don't need to signpost it.
                " might react a bit like this..." - that's what I hate that they sometimes do.

                I haven't got time for impressionists at all, really ...with the possible exception of Harry Hill - he's quite good!

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                  #9
                  People who never stop working

                  I don't know of any other showbiz types that do this. Singers don't put everything they say in a tuneful voice, dancers don't spend all day and night in tap shoes carrying a cane.

                  Oh, but they fucking should though, eh? This needs to be looked into.

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                    #10
                    People who never stop working

                    Sean of the Shed wrote:
                    Singers don't put everything they say in a tuneful voice
                    You're clearly not familiar with Lesley Garrett are you?

                    ian.64 wrote:
                    Gooordon's Aliiiiiyyeeeeeevvveee?
                    Blessed is an excellent actor, but since people found out he could shout, it's all they want him to do.

                    The people who never stop working who really get on my b-cups are impressionists. They really are the most annoying fucks you could possibly expect to see on television.

                    Prime rule: when an impressionist starts his act by saying 'I'm (insert celeb being impersonated)...' you know he's fucked. If you're good enough to assume the mannerisms of a celeb for entertainment purposes, you don't need to signpost it.
                    Have you seen the new Impressionists show on BBC1? They don't tell you who they are, and even with the make up Debra Stephenson neither looked nor sounded like anyone remotely famous. It's so bad I thought I was watching ITV.

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                      #11
                      People who never stop working

                      I'd rather people did impressions of people they work with, or their relatives or neighbours. You wouldn't know if it was shit or not, and you'd meet new people.

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                        #12
                        People who never stop working

                        An impressionist refusing to stop working.

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                          #13
                          People who never stop working

                          Yes, but you can't paint them all with the same brush.

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                            #14
                            People who never stop working

                            Worn Old Motorbike wrote:
                            I'd rather people did impressions of people they work with, or their relatives or neighbours. You wouldn't know if it was shit or not, and you'd meet new people.
                            Over to you then WOM. You kick us off & we can have a 'OTF Who do you do?' comp...

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                              #15
                              People who never stop working

                              Okay, here's my neighbour Bill, from Glasgow:

                              "I like watchin' your wee 'uns from the winday. She's fookin' tellin' 'im "dinnae climb up the slide" and he's gan up it like this, right, like fookin' mad. Man, I tell ya. Anyway, I'm off ta mail my letters noo, and then we're off tay Cuba again on Saturday, right."

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                                #16
                                People who never stop working

                                Quality. Thats him alright.
                                Here's Keith, landlord of my local:
                                'Urrite Chris,Col,no,yes.Pint er Harveys,fwee quid mate.'
                                Its just like being there isn't it?

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                                  #17
                                  People who never stop working

                                  "No matter what show they are on they can't resist chucking in a few cameo performances from their repetoire of bell-ends, answering questions in the voice of Tony Blair or Gordon Ramsey for no good reason or relevance, just to remind everybody what it is that they actually do".

                                  I was listening by chance to a programme on Radio Manchester the other day and your man McGowan was being interviewed. Every single question was answered in a different voice for no discernable reason. He was asked about his commitment to green lifestyle choices (he doesn't use a car apparently) and he answered, completely unfathomably, as Trevor Brooking.

                                  I couldn't make the link, anyway.

                                  I could only take a few minutes of this then put FiveLive back on.

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                                    #18
                                    People who never stop working

                                    Yeah, the cursed Rich Little does the same thing. And even thought he can do hundreds of them, he only ever seems to do Richard Nixon or Johnny Carson.

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                                      #19
                                      People who never stop working

                                      Topical.

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                                        #20
                                        People who never stop working

                                        I wish you lot got Jay Leno over there. Then we could talk about how utterly awful his new prime-time talk show is, and how it should be off the air in roughly two months.

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                                          #21
                                          People who never stop working

                                          Here's a quick impression of everyone I've ever met.
                                          "Gosh hobbes. You're amazing. I wish I was as brilliant and good looking and funny as you are. Actually, you're my hero."

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                                            #22
                                            People who never stop working

                                            evilC wrote:
                                            You ought to see Crusoe's De Niro - it's stunning!
                                            Buh? Please tell me I haven't been doing drunken impressions.

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                                              #23
                                              People who never stop working

                                              I feel a bit sorry for Alister McGowan, because although in terms of catching people's mannerisms he's by far the best impressionist on the telly, his facial structure is such that he has trouble resembling anyone except Richard Madely.

                                              Plus, it was his show that was on at the moment our first child was born.

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                                                #24
                                                People who never stop working

                                                Mumpo wrote:
                                                Plus, it was his show that was on at the moment our first child was born.
                                                Be something to see him do an impression of that.

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                                                  #25
                                                  People who never stop working

                                                  I don't know of any other showbiz types that do this. Singers don't put everything they say in a tuneful voice, dancers don't spend all day and night in tap shoes carrying a cane.

                                                  Conjurors? Always pulling quarters from behind someone's ear or coughing up strings of snot rags. Can't seem to stop it can they.

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