Rupert cocksucking advice needed

[Tubby Isaacs]

Finally, I've succumbed to Sky, solely for the fact it has lots of cricket. To make sure I catch all the top cricket action from around the globe, how many sports channels do I need to subscribe to? I fancy a bit of West Indies v Australia later this month but it seems to be on Sky Sports Xtra. Is that wher the international stuff usually winds up? Also, are England test matches always on Sky Sports 1?

And what "Mixes" of non-sport are worth choosing?

[Tubby Isaacs]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

And is Terry and June usually the best thing on?

[Gerontophile]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

I am pretty sure if you buy one Sport channel, you buy them all.

For package info, see here

(Click 'Sky TV' in the top box)

Better link here

[hobbes]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Welcome to the dark side mate.
Can I recommend you? We both get free stuff then.

[Tony C]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Apart from the cricket you'll get plenty of Rugby League, too. Both British SuperLeague and Australian matches. When the terrestrial option is half-hour of BBC2's 'Superleague Show' at any given time of day - it was on at 4.00am Monday morning a couple of weeks ago - then Sky is very tempting.

I'm still holding out, but only just.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

The Ryder Cup's exclusive to Sky this year. Grrr..., as they say. It'll be on too late to watch in the pub, so I'll have to lay down at home, spread my legs, and let Rupert's children anally rape me while I watch.

[ian.64]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Inspect the size of your television set. Richard Keys's face, once acceptably angular is now thickly globoid and may unease you.

Also, be prepared for Jamie Redknapp's match judgements. Through his unique way of conveying opinions, you may be suddenly prompted to take an interest in astronomy, more specifically, one of the other planets in the Solar System you'd care to drop the irritating bugger on.

Finally, look - or rather, listen - out for Andy Gray's match commentaries. Not for any particular insight or wit, but for the way he becomes Louis Armstrong at the most exciting moments of the game.

[Cavalry Trouser Tips]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

We get the weird spectacle that is the IPL on Setanta.

[E10 Rifle]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Welcome to the world of the Sell-outs Tubbs: so we can rotate the cricket-watching sessions a bit this summer then?

[Tubby Isaacs]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

YATR, please feel free to contribute.

Sadly, Hobbes, already subscribed to the basic.

I've never regarded you as a sell-out, E10. You are a sports journalist, after all. Would be happy to rotate cricket watching. I think it'll be all sports channels for me, starting about 5 minutes before the first test.

How do I make sure I don't get any of those programmes like Heroes? I once sat through something resembling a "Making of Heroes" where the praise was so extravagant I thought they were talking about Homer's Iliad.

And I was under the impression that there was the odd continental channel on so I could practice bits of French and German in the sort of intervals I usually watch Sky Sports News. Any idea how I get those?

[Gerontophile]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

794: German
795: Spanish
799: French
801: Portuguese

No bastarding Dutch channel.

[N est à?]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

[Guest]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

How do I make sure I don't get any of those programmes like Heroes?

Ahahahahaha Tubbs I do love you. But I don't think you can get away from top US drama series, sadly. Men and motors and any number of x-rated chatline channels will probably also be yours whether you want them or not.

The best channels are quite high-numbered and are the Asian ones like zee, b4u, star etc. There's a bhangra version of Xfactor, apparently.

You will prolly also get the English al-jazeera which is very good.

I am capable of watching the very worst channels though. UK food. Paramount Comedy. Home and leisure. Dave.

[hobbes]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Sky is worth it just for Sky+. The Greatest invention ever.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Lyra, pas devant les enfants. Why do they put all those "high production team of writers" dramas on the basic package? Why do they assume everyone wants those?

YATR will be converted when I tell him tonight we will be watching England v West Indies 1976 highlights.

Cheers, gerontophile. Can you suggest some foreign channels where they speak a bit slower?

[E10 Rifle]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

YATR will be converted when I tell him tonight we will be watching England v West Indies 1976 highlights.

What a picture of domestic bliss you paint.

[Jimski]

Rupert cocksucking advice needed

Sky is worth it just for Sky+. The Greatest invention ever.

Isn't that just an inferior version of Tivo? (NB I've never used either, but that's what I've been told.) I do own a Topfield PVR which is pretty damned fine though.