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    Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

    So that Lyra's thread doesn't get further defiled, I thought I'd start a separate 'humbug' thread. (Not that it will get very far.)

    You see, I absolutely detest trick or treat. I'm already the neighbourhood Howard Hughes figure - the weird old man living in the run-down house who never emerges - and since my brother died I've almost turned into the neighbourhood Bobby Fischer (only without the contradictory anti-Semitism).

    I don't like children either.

    Thus, the idea of being visited - repeatedly - by extorting infants is a scenario of the purest dread for me. So, in order to escape this torment, I always try to be out when the imps call. It merely avoids the uncomfortable confrontation.

    This year, though, the task may at least be a little easier for me, with Hallowe'en falling on a Saturday. On the Friday - when the first wave of marauding hellions will attack - there is the possibility of visiting a club in London for the evening. On the Saturday, a simple early visit to a pub should suffice.

    So... is anyone else as paedophobically misanthropic as me? (Unlikely.) Does anyone even fancy a trip to a free club night (you can guess which kind) on Friday evening?

    Well, I did say "Bah, humbug"!

    #2
    Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

    I hate it an all. It's a crock of shit. I'll not be answering the door if the buzzer rings. Not even if it's a hungry, down on their luck, family member. Just in case like.

    When I lived on the Marsh estate in Lancaster, kids used to knock on and ask for money. All year round. And if you ignored them, they'd set fire to your back gate. Cheeky cunts.

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      #3
      Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

      I believe the appropriate phrase is "Boo, humbug!"

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        #4
        Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

        One of our local lovable scamps threw an egg at me one year, it hit me square in the moosh, which hurt, but for about a week I had lovely plump Angelina Jolie lips, without the cost of visiting a top West End beauty salon.

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          #5
          Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

          See my post on the other thread but, yes, bollocks to the whole bloody thing

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            #6
            Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

            The little bastards in the village are normally quite well drilled into the Halloween idea, they only visit houses that have jack o'lanterns in the window. It seems to have been a tradition that has built up over time (and does seem quite well observed, most houses do put lanterns up).

            I'll still be aiming to be out on Saturday night, though, as I've not got my girls staying with me this weekend (otherwise we'd be out trick or treating as well). It's the sheer bloody faff of hanging around on tenterhooks waiting to have to answer the door and be pleasant to unwanted callers that does my head in.

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              #7
              Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

              Grumpy. Old. Men.

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                #8
                Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                WOM, is Halloween something that's always been around in Canada? Because when I was a kid you never heard of trick or treating except as something American kids (or more specifically, Charlie Brown) did. It seems to have only developed on this side of the pond in the last ten or fifteen years.

                It's very big in Germany as well now. I hate it. It's not threatening or anything, but I just don't like people coming around knocking on my door, bothering me. I used to spend every halloween with the lights off hiding from six-year-olds.

                Now I've got one of my own, I can't get out of it as easily as that. In fact, my daughter's been invited over to a friend of hers who's got Canadian parents, so I suppose at least they'll know how to do it properly.

                I'm not looking forward to it, though. I've still got half a mind to make her sit out in the pumpkin patch all night instead.

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                  #9
                  Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                  Yes, it's been around longer than I have. . That's 42 years. I'd imagine it grew alongside its American counterpart.

                  I was never really into dressing up as a kid. I mean, I grudgingly put on a store-bought costume to get to the candy part of it. After, say, age 14, I couldn't be arsed with it at all until having kids. Now I'm into it for them. I even get dressed up when I walk them around the neighbourhood.

                  I'll possibly post a picture next week. But just as possibly not.

                  Embrace it. It's pointless fun. And it's kids knocking round, not salesmen pushing fixed-price natural gas contracts.

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                    #10
                    Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                    Trick or treat is awful. awful awful awful. and the yoot round here are terrifying on an everyday basis.

                    I was hoping there'd be something good on at the cinema or something on saturday.

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                      #11
                      Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                      As I said on Lyra's thread, my thoughts on Halloween - as on many other things - are channeled through the medium of Larry David. An excuse for hate crimes. It's rubbish.

                      Bonfire night's great though

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                        #12
                        Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                        This is the club I'm thinking of going to on Friday: Reeperbahn.

                        (edit: They have excellent posters too - check their gallery.)

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                          #13
                          Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                          As I said on the other thread, I despise Halloween.

                          And not just because of the arriviste Americanisation and commercialisation, although I hate that too. I do hate the fact that trick or treat is, effectively, extortion.

                          I hate the fact that people think helloween decorations are a good idea.

                          But, even worse, I bloody despise all the gothy shit, all the stupid black clothes and stupid ghost nonsense and all the ludicrous vampire shit and horror movies and all that crap. It's just execrable garbage. I hate dressing up. I hate make-up. I must turn down all invites on helloween because of the fucking ludicrous fancy-dress nonsense. And then I get seen as a horrible fun-hating miseryguts.

                          Worse celebration ever! On all levels.

                          The only redeeming feature is that I get to eat leftover chocolatey sweeties for the subsequent week because my better half buys huge amounts to feed to the neighbourhoods tartrazine and sugar-starved waifs.

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                            #14
                            Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                            Where's imp?

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                              #15
                              Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                              The only problem with Guy Fawkes Night is the shit guys that turn up from the end of September that are usually just a flat cap and a t-shirt on a packed Lidl plastic bag.

                              They don't like it when you just offer them a penny as well

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                                #16
                                Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                I like Hallowe'en.

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                                  #17
                                  Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                  This thing about trick-or-treat only being an American thing usually gets a run-out in the Telegraph every year about now, with someone from Wick saying they used to do a bit of "guising" as a child fifty years ago, then someone from Aberdeen, Dundee, Berwick, and so on into South Yorkshire or so (by this point not guising any more) before it seems to peter out. I know I used to do it the thick end of thirty years ago with a hollowed out turnip (possibly a swede).
                                  So, is it not a Scottish/Northern English thing that went to the US and has been repackaged back at us here in Blighty etc.?

                                  Bonfire Night's miles more annoying, anyway.

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                                    #18
                                    Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                    And I had a couple of kids turn up on my doorstep with a guy in a cart last night asking for a penny for him. Whatever happened to simply hanging around outside pubs asking blokes who are a bit merry for 50p?

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                                      #19
                                      Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                      sw2boro wrote:
                                      This thing about trick-or-treat only being an American thing usually gets a run-out in the Telegraph every year about now, with someone from Wick saying they used to do a bit of "guising" as a child fifty years ago, then someone from Aberdeen, Dundee, Berwick, and so on into South Yorkshire or so (by this point not guising any more) before it seems to peter out. I know I used to do it the thick end of thirty years ago with a hollowed out turnip (possibly a swede).
                                      So, is it not a Scottish/Northern English thing that went to the US and has been repackaged back at us here in Blighty etc.?

                                      Bonfire Night's miles more annoying, anyway.
                                      We used to do it in South Wales in the 1970s, if that's any help.

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                                        #20
                                        Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                        It was only very recently that I discovered that guising is a Scottish/Irish thing. I was brought up with it as a kid and always assumed everyone did it.

                                        Anyway, I've got no problem at all with Halloween. Last year me and the missus bought lots of Halloween-y treats in in anticipation of visits from the local kids. As it turned out, though, they pretty all went out with their parents in tow and only to houses of people they knew, which is fair enough and probably sensible, I suppose.

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                                          #21
                                          Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                          But there you go, Hofzinser, calling it guising may be Scots/Irish, but the actual activity has some kind of heritage through the North of England & South Wales, at least. Was it only South East England that was trick-or-treat free until recently? There was someone grumbling about it in the Guardian at the weekend about it being some kind of horrible American import, but, you know, it just isn't. It's the pumpkins that bug me...

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                                            #22
                                            Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                            You're all being far too selective just damning "trick or treat" antics. I f*cking detest EVERYTHING TO DO WITH Halloween. And everything to do with vampires, ghouls, zombies and similar twisted crap. I'm all for nice wholesome stuff like heavenly hosts, angels and light.

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                                              #23
                                              Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                              I love halloween.

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                                                #24
                                                Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                                I must admit I identify with the teacher in the "I Wanna Rock" video. Defacing defenceless textbooks is very wicked.

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                                                  #25
                                                  Hallowe'en? Bah, humbug!

                                                  "Halloween" or "Hallowe'en"?

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