Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

[Ginger Yellow]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

If I were to guess what type of product a Wooly Willy was, it wouldn't be a children's toy.

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

One thing I will say about wet-shaving one's head is that everyone should try it at least once in their life. It feels amazing - just so clean all of a sudden! (And I wash my hair every day, so it's not what you're thinking!) Also, when it's freshly done you can feel all the little eddys of air across the surface of your scalp. It's kind of weird.

The growing-back bit is less enjoyable, with your 'head-stubble' clinging to the pillowslips and anything else that comes into contact with it.

I'm thinking of going for a 'grade 1' again now. I hate shelling out at least £10 every month for a trim that leaves my hair not that far removed from a crew cut anyway.

I agree with every word of that.

[Taylor]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I never thought I'd find myself defending Alan Shearer, but come on - that's hardly a combover, is it? It's not trying to hide anything, it's just a very short haircut. Seems quite dignified to me, although it has to be said, it doesn't look good.

I'm another of the botched/forceps crowd, which is the only reason I haven't shaved my head already. I'm not receding all that much, but the hair on the top of my head is like babies' hair, and doesn't cover the scalp quite as thoroughly as it should. Nice bald patch opening up at the back, too. My haircuts have been getting shorter and shorter, but pretty soon the time's a-gonna come.

Last time I got it cut, I mentioned this to my hairdresser, who felt my cranium and said "umm, yes... I've seen a few people with lumps and bumps and depressions in their skull, but I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before." I know he has a vested interest here, but really...

It's a shame, because my face and forehead would suit a number one on top - quite bony and haggared and slightly aggressive-looking. But you know, I've seen these guys with their shaved bucket-with-a-dent-in-it skulls, and I don't fancy looking like that. Just wish I had a choice.

Anyway, this is the millionth time I've moaned about this on OTF so I'm shutting up now.

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I decided to grow my hair longer again, as it might be nearly the last time I could do so without going (North-Eastern football analogy again) all Steve McClaren, marooned on quiff island.

You mean this?



From the back it must look a lot like the Flatiron Building in New York, with Fifth Avenue and Broadway diverging off into the distance.

[Er Liquidatore]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I can. I have a very unattractively shaped head, which my hair fortunately covers. I'm wondering if I was a botched forceps delivery.

No you don't. This is the sort of thing everyone who shaves their head thinks at first. You get used to it, then people get used to it, and then you wonder how you survived all those years with the faff of trying to sort out a decent haircut, or trying to get it to do anything but look a bit puffy/floppy/thin/curly.

Shave it baldies. Shave it off.

[Guest]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Reed of the Valley People wrote:

You mean this?

That's exactly what I meant, Reed. A quiff with a moat of scalp.

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

What's a quiff?

[Sean of the Shed]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time


Elvis quiff

Morrissey quiff

Tintin quiff

Quiff Richard

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Oh, I see. From the way he described it surrounded by a moat, I thought perhaps a quiff was some kind of defensive earthworks structure built by the ancient Celts or Saxons.

[Sean of the Shed]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

The moat was just a metaphor for the obvious seperation of quiff from the main body of hair and how that gap highlights(hair reference) the huge difference between the two, a bit like the Channel does with Britain and Europe.

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

How does one get one's hair to stick up like that? It seems to defy gravity such that no amount of gel or epoxy could prevent it from falling over into one's eyes.

[Sean of the Shed]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I think Elvis and Cliff would have been Brylcreem, Morrissey's is probably hairspray, and shoud therefore avoid naked flames. Tintin's is drawn on by the artist.

[caja-dglh]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Surprised I am late but can still get in with this one.

[WOM]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Sean of the shed wrote:

Tintin's is drawn on by the artist.

Bahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa. (Really.)

[MsD]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Reed of the Valley People wrote:

How does one get one's hair to stick up like that? It seems to defy gravity such that no amount of gel or epoxy could prevent it from falling over into one's eyes.

Teh

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I don't understand that.

[radmonkey]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Reed of the Valley People wrote:

How does one get one's hair to stick up like that? It seems to defy gravity such that no amount of gel or epoxy could prevent it from falling over into one's eyes.

If I had to guess? Pomade and/or a blow-drier.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Sticking up at unfeasible angles is a natural property of my hair. Paradoxically, I have to use hair products to keep my hair flat.

This will no doubt be useful if I want to cultivate a mad professor or a Don King look in later years.

[Ginger Yellow]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Ellie Jackson sports an impressive sideways Tintin:

[Stumpy Pepys]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I look like that when I wake up in the morning.

[Guest]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Sean is quite right, the moat was merely a metaphor. Having considered his interesting 'English Channel' development, I think I can narrow it down again:



My God. I'm obsessed with Steve McClaren's hair. I need to go for a walk.

[MsD]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Reed of the Valley People wrote:

I don't understand that.

Sorry love, I'd had a glass.

I was just making a campy dismissive "tuh!" as a big hair veteran. My beehive reaches great heights through backcombing, pinning and spray. I have to crouch in the back of taxis.