Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

[Reed John]

Check out this combover. It's like a combover mullet.

[erwin]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Then there's this stuff.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

erwin wrote:

Then there's this stuff.

I think wearing that stuff would make me a paranoid wreck. What if it's a hot day and you're sweating? What if it rains? Can a chunk of it just come off?

[Toby Gymshorts]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Plus, there's this stuff.

I can't help but think you'd need to stay away from magnets, for fear of ending up looking like wooly willy (SFW!)

[erwin]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I remember Woolly Willy (or someone similar) from my youth - great fun!

The main problem with those products that occurred to me is when your loved one tries to run her fingers through your hair.

[Sean of the Shed]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Just in case anybody feels they are missing out on this style icon:
The combover wig

[Stumpy Pepys]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

It's weird--everyone I know who's bald or balding just cuts their hair short or shaves it. However, I recently found out, from his ex-girlfriend, that a vague acquaintance (who's around 30-35) wears a toupee.

[radmonkey]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Somewhere, theres a hipster with an "ironic" combover as we speak.

[evilC]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Slight diversion, but...

When I was young I vowed that if I ever started balding I would shave my hair off or down to a grade 1 or 2. My hair has definitely started to recede now, but I can just about get away with similar styles to 10 years ago, so I'm putting it off for a while yet, but I still intend to go through with that plan if it recedes much more.

Now, here's my real point: why bother with toupees and wigs? Not only are they more trouble than a 'crew cut', but they stand to be a whole lot smellier, too! I mean, if I wore a hat, I'd wash it after every 2 or 3 days of constant use - possibly even less. Toupees and wigs must get weeks of use before the owner does anything with them other than brushing. The idea of putting such a thing on my bald pate horrifies me!

There's a bloke in my town (seemingly a terrible alcoholic, but still...) who seems to use a combination of all the methods used above. His combover looks solid, like a bad toupee and the exposed skin on his crown appears to always have a thick coating of what looks like cocoa powder. I was unaware of those 'solutions' (ha!) above, but they would explain this. One day I had the misfortune of sitting behind him on a bus and his head just stank! It had to be his toupee/head, because it wasn't a B.O. smell nor that of the booze. It was stomach-turning, though.

Also - why can't people be honest about such things? It might sound weird, but I think I'd feel that I'd trust a toupee/wig wearer less. It's that idea of 'concealment' and suspension of disbelief (that one's hair is no longer there) that would make me feel they were slightly less than totally grounded.

Sorry! Rambling now!

[evilC]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

radmonkey wrote:

Somewhere, theres a hipster with an "ironic" combover as we speak.

Several.

Slagsmalsklubben:

-

[erwin]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Famous wigs/toupees:

Millers Crossing



Tony Carreira



(It's a good one, but I'm pretty sure it is one.

[Ginger Yellow]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

It might sound weird, but I think I'd feel that I'd trust a toupee/wig wearer less. It's that idea of 'concealment' and suspension of disbelief (that one's hair is no longer there) that would make me feel they were slightly less than totally grounded.

I've always wondered that about Donald Trump. I mean, property developers are dodgy enough as it is without projecting an air of (bad) deception. Maybe it's because it's so blatant that it doesn't make any difference.

[Bruno]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Senator Carl Levin

[Sean of the Shed]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

This has got to be one of the best slaphead-camoflage jobs around:

[erwin]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Pedro Barbosa, Sporting's (useless) Director of Football, is fighting a losing battle, that's for sure.

[wagg]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I'll soon be threading the path of shaved head. I've not quite got to the point of 'creative combing' but it's definitely thinning, i've started to get a widows peak and I keep thinking of it more as the 'illusion of hair'.

Least it's not as bad as this guy though...



or



I've never understood who men with combovers think they're fooling.

[Sean of the Shed]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

The North-east seems to be the most common place for ineffective scalp embellishments, certainly with regards to football:

[Ginger Yellow]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I've never understood who men with combovers think they're fooling.

Likewise. Maybe it's because I hate my hair anyway, but I can't see myself having any qualms about shaving it off when it gets to that stage. My brother did so about a year ago, although his balding rate was always more advanced than mine.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

...but I can't see myself having any qualms about shaving it off when it gets to that stage

I can. I have a very unattractively shaped head, which my hair fortunately covers. I'm wondering if I was a botched forceps delivery.

[Ginger Yellow]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I have a very unattractively shaped everything, so I'm not sure a little bit of hair is going to make much difference.

[Reed John]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

I can. I have a very unattractively shaped head, which my hair fortunately covers. I'm wondering if I was a botched forceps delivery.

I shaved my head in college on a whim. It didn't look good. I looked like a mental patient of some kind. Of course, in those days, I probably should have been a mental patient. It was so convenient. But getting rid of all of it presents lots of other problems not worth dealing with. My hair isn't receeding, as far as I can tell, so I feel like it would be an insult to all of my balding friends to be bald by choice. Also, I feel like if I shaved my head, for the sake of consistency, I'd have to keep everything else shorn. That's not convenient and I think it would be itchy.

[Guest]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

This is all uncomfortably close to home. During the eight years or so I kept my head shaved (No.1 or 2) I went what I can only describe, in the light of the above images, as a bit Alan Shearer. I decided to grow my hair longer again, as it might be nearly the last time I could do so without going (North-Eastern football analogy again) all Steve McClaren, marooned on quiff island.

I am unsettled by some photographs of me these days as I appear to be developing the biggest parting since Moses.

[Twilight Johnny Atom]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Toby Gymshorts wrote:

Plus, there's this stuff.

Hehe! That company belongs to a very good friend of mine and it's one of his best selling products, although don't ask me why - it's pretty horrible stuff.

I haven't checked but I wouldn't be surprised to find 'before and after' pictures of me somewhere on that site (no, I don't use the stuff, just helped him out with a photo shoot once).

To those who think it's an easy decision to 'just shave it' when it starts thinning, trust me, it's not. Not for everyone anyway. It's a very big issue.

[evilC]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

One thing I will say about wet-shaving one's head is that everyone should try it at least once in their life. It feels amazing - just so clean all of a sudden! (And I wash my hair every day, so it's not what you're thinking!) Also, when it's freshly done you can feel all the little eddys of air across the surface of your scalp. It's kind of weird.

The growing-back bit is less enjoyable, with your 'head-stubble' clinging to the pillowslips and anything else that comes into contact with it.

I'm thinking of going for a 'grade 1' again now. I hate shelling out at least £10 every month for a trim that leaves my hair not that far removed from a crew cut anyway.

[Stumpy Pepys]

Futile Attempts To Hide Baldness Of Our Time

Twilight Johnny Atom wrote:

Toby Gymshorts wrote:

Plus, there's this stuff.

Hehe! That company belongs to a very good friend of mine and it's one of his best selling products, although don't ask me why - it's pretty horrible stuff.

Now in my imagination, a user of that product would look exactly like this: