The actual most pressing matter of any World Cup...

[3 Colours Red]

...rating the mascots, of course!



1966 - Willie
Why is he wearing the Union Flag? Conflating England with the whole UK... I'd expect better. He is a lion though and lions are pretty cool so 2/5

1970 - Juanito
Such a lazy stereotype of Mexicans, it could have been thought up by Clarkson and his minions. 0/5

1974 - Tip & Tap
Ant & Dec were born in 1975. You don't think... no... NO! Thanks, Germany... THANKS! 1/5

1978 - Gauchito
A face that just screams "MILITARY JUNTA!". Whipping his enemies until they "disappear". 0/5

1982 - Naranjito
An orange. On legs. With a big dopey smile. Brilliant. 4/5

1986 - Pique
C'mon, Mexico... a sombrero again? You're better than this! Mind you, anthropomorphising an edible worked four years earlier and it works rather better than Juanito did. There's something of the Cheech & Chong about it. 3/5

1990 - Ciao
So anti-mascot in its execution, it works almost despite itself. I'm guessing the Italians knew what was to come and rebelled against it. A football for a head. Fucking amazing. 5/5

1994 - Striker
I don't want to bang on about the design epitomising everything wrong with corporate design and focus groups and the kind of blandness specifically tailored into not wanting to offend but... it epitomises everything wrong with corporate design and focus groups and the kind of blandness specifically tailored into not wanting to offend. World Cup Pup? Sorry, a little bit of vomit has just come up the back of my throat. 0/5

1998 - Footix
A big cock. I admire the brazen attitude and Finbarr Saundersesque attitude to double entendre if nothing else. 3/5

2002 - The Spheriks
Don't do drugs, kids. 1/5

2006 - Goleo IV & Pille
Or Herp & Derp as they should have been called. How can you not love those big, stupid, daft faces? 4/5

2010 - Zakumi
Can't really go wrong with a leopard, I suppose. What's up with the hairdo though? Suggests one of those YouTubers who perform "social experiments." IT WAS JUST A PRANK, BRO!2/5

2014 - Fuleco
Smooth on the inside, crunchy on the outside... ARMADILLOS! A slightly leftfield choice. Works for me. Now I want a Dime (NOT DAIM!) bar. 3/5

2018 - Zabivaka
I hope the irony of democratically voting for a mascot was not lost on Russia. Or FIFA, for that matter. He is a wolf though and wolves are pretty cool so 3/5

[Paul S]

I like the Italia '90 one as well. They went against the grain of having animals as mascots and created something totally different. Brilliant idea and very well executed and still the coolest of all the mascots.

I think you're being a bit harsh on the Argentina 1978 one. Yeah I know military junta and all that, but it's actually quite a good.

[Haddock]

The Spheriks from 2002 were called Ato, Nik and Kaz. Can people do them the courtesy of referring to them by their given names instead of eliding their identities, please?

[Mumpo]

Naranjito, obviously. Looks like something by the Designers Republic.

Why is 'Goleo' playing rugby? Without his shorts?

'Ciao' scares me.

[Patrick Thistle]

My favourites are Pique (nostalgia for Panini stickers), Footix (nostalgia for the 90s) and Fuleco, because he's ace.

I met Fuleco at a "see the World Cup" event in Cardiff back in 2014.

[anton pulisov]

The Italian one for me. It was computer animated as well, which was some crazy shit in 1990.

[N est à?]

I met Fuleco at a "see the World Cup" event in Cardiff back in 2014.

... he was surprisingly down to earth, and very funny

[Vicarious Thrillseeker]

Why is 'Goleo' playing rugby? Without his shorts?

Because he's a goalie-o?

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

Goleo not wearing shorts was an issue in germany. I was sharing a flat with two germans, who brought me a goleo figurine, because there were apparently millions of them left over after the tournament.

[N est à?]

Striker died on the way back to his home planet

[N est à?]

Mexico might as well have used two concentric circles for theirs.

The last three are basically identical aren't they? Example of local-ish fauna, rendered in the same style, holding or kicking an adidas football. Dunno how they'll continue this bland template for Qatar- a camel? Oysters?

[N est à?]

If the Qatar organising committee is at all struggling for ideas in this area, might I suggest an anthropomorphised pearl oyster shell, with big round eyes on top, its 'mouth' open to reveal a football instead of a pearl

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

It won't be Mohammed holding a ball, that's for sure.

[Sean of the Shed]

Except in Charlie Hebdo, perhaps.

[Sean of the Shed]

What will the mascot be the next time England host a World Cup? I'm going for Faragio, an anthropomorphic lump of gammon with its eyes stuck on either side of its head and a big gaping mouth full of yellow teeth, a fag and a pint in its hand and helpfully pointing towards Dover for the benefit of all the East European and Asian teams that manage to qualify.

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

Except in Charlie Hebdo, perhaps.

Yeah, maybe those creeps.

[Greenlander]

The most recent three are lost from a Pokemon game.

However wolves are cool and wolves wearing glasses are even cooler.

[3 Colours Red]

What will the mascot be the next time England host a World Cup?

Get Squires on it. In fact, can someone tweet him a link to this thread? If this ain't gonna bring him back to the fold, nothing will... but at least I can say I tried.

[N est à?]

2026 will be 'Wally' the wall, an anthropomorphised heavily fortified border wall

[Pietro Paolo Virdis]

Get Squires on it. In fact, can someone tweet him a link to this thread? If this ain't gonna bring him back to the fold, nothing will... but at least I can say I tried.

Dream scenario would be if he did one with 8-10 own suggestions in a strip where they all are observing a minutes silence.

[linus]

it will be the three amigos.

[Sean of the Shed]

I don't get the glasses on the wolf. Is it a reference to Edgar Davids? To Winter sport?

I don't either, but whether it was intentional or not it's a nice touch for kids who have to wear glasses, usually the subject of ridicule.

[Patrick Thistle]

He's an Arctic Wolf so I think they're winter sports goggles rather than specs.