Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Quarter-finals of the PDC World Championships, to be resumed tomorrow:

Phil "the Power" Taylor, 13-time world champion, against Co "the Matchstick" Stompe, from Holland, who proposed to his now wife on stage after a darts tournament. Stompe actually beat Taylor in a final on tour this season in Germany, so that one's not necessarily a foregone conclusion.

Mervyn "the King" King, twice runner up in the BDO version, against Barrie "Batesy" Bates, from Bedlinog.

Ray "Barney" van Barneveld, a 4-time BDO champion (in the years Taylor was in the PDC) and PDC champion from 2007, against 24-year-old Jelle "the Matador" Klaasen, who succeeded him as BDO champion in 2006. An all-Dutch line-up that will have the Orange Army jumping at the Ally Pally.

and finally James "the Machine" Wade, 25-year-old former Kwik-Fit fitter from Aldershot, against Paul "the Asset" Nicholson, from Australia, who has upset two seeded players to get this far.

I agree with Simon Barnes from the Times that darts, while hopelessly ludicrous, makes for enthralling, almost perfect sport, if your ideal of sport is two competitors separated less by ability than by nerve, spirit and will to win, in the face of a game whose margins for error between success and failure are - literally - millimetres apart. The way the sport is played, it's like watching an endless procession of penalty shoot-outs, or tie-breaks in tennis, with virtually every leg, of every set, coming down to a "can he - can't he" moment of tension, every three minutes. I wonder if darts players have higher rates of sport-related heart attacks than any other sportsmen.

[diggedy derek]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

I agree with Simon Barnes from the Times that darts, while hopelessly ludicrous, makes for enthralling, almost perfect sport, if your ideal of sport is two competitors separated less by ability than by nerve, spirit and will to win, in the face of a game whose margnis for error between success and failure are - literally - millimetres apart. The way the sport id played, it's like watching an endless procession of penalty shoot-outs, or tie-breaks in tennis.

To put it another way, there's nowhere to hide up on the oche. These are men, laid bare. Though thankfully not literally so. Anyway, I agree.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

It's traditional at this time of year to post

this

on this thread, so thought I'd resurrect the tradition.

[Tubby Isaacs]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

The margins are literally millemetres because the darters are literally a few feet from the board. It would be pretty poor if they missed by a yard.

[Alderman Barnes]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Nine-darter from Barneveld!

[Alderman Barnes]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Fucking hell, and he finishes the match with a 161 finish.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

I hope Barney sticks it to "the Power" in the final. He's always been my second-favourite player, after Ted "the Count" Hankey, who's still in the BDO version.

[E10 Rifle]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Should be a belter, the final. Both men are in awesome form though Taylor looks in better nick than he was two years ago, when Barney beat him in the final. Though I obviously hope Barneveld wins - Taylor always comes across as thoroughly charmless.

[Commodore]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Just seen the 9 darter on the old YouTube and I can't believe how nonchalant Barneveld looked after he plunged that Double 12, treating it as just another leg won. With that kind of focus he's got every chance of beating Taylor, who may be charmless but who at least managed to tonk the even more grating Mervyn King and will be slight favourite for the final.

Without having access to Sky I may have to find a pub to watch this.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

I hope it turns out to be classic final. Taylor's so good, really, that if this was a straight race to 21 legs, you'd give Barneveld even less of a chance - it would finish 21-15 or 16 to Taylor. The uncertainty of the sets system, though, gives Barney his chance - for every set Taylor wins 3-0, there's the possibility of Barney nicking the next one back 3-2.

What Barneveld can't afford to allow to happen is to let Taylor start nicking the sets that do go to 2-2. He has to win every fifth leg in sets that go the distance, and not get despondent at the inevitable little runs in the game (which will happen) where Taylor wins 5 or 6 legs (and 2 sets) on the trot. In the classic 2007 final between the two, which went to the very last tiebreak leg of the deciding 13th set, the overall score in legs was 30-29 to Taylor, even though he lost by 7 sets to 6.

[Alderman Barnes]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Well, this has been disappointingly one-sided.

[anton pulisov]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Taylor is throwing an average of 109.6.

[Alderman Barnes]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Yeah, there's not a lot anyone could do against that.

[Alderman Barnes]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

And that's it. Unstoppable.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

And now, as is becoming traditional, the bbc version takes over, from those nasty grubby "pros" on Sky. You or I can enter the BDO championship, each year. Just go to your local pub in September.

Proper blokes, who are all plumbers, or postmen, or pornographers, playing their trade on national TV for the £95,000 top prize.

Come on, Ted "the Count" Hankey! He was being interviewed this afternoon on fitness techniques by Bobby George. It doesn't get any better than this.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

And it's Wolfy against the Count in the semis tomorrow. LET'S! PLAY! DARTS!

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

Come on, The Count!

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

I don't think there could have been a better advert, tonight, for darts as a sport to be included in the 2012 Olympics.

Neither of the finalists can weigh any more than 18 stone. But they're shooting perfect arrows!

[Gangster Octopus]

Fat Fellas Flinging Nails at a Wall, 2009 style

This is going to the last leg isn't it.