NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

[Incandenza]

I can't wait for the start of the new season. I have high hopes that in 82 games, plus 16 wins after that, the Los Angeles Lakers will lift trophy #15 and be NBA champs again.

Then Kobe will opt out of his contract and fuck off to Greece or Italy for some ungodly amount of money, and I'll go slowly insane.

But before all of that, let's get in our predictions.

NBA Finals: Lakers def. Pistons
MVP: Chris Paul
Rookie of the Year: Russell Westbrook
Best record: Lakers
Worst record: OKC
Surprise of the season: Suns miss playoffs

[jason voorhees]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

You mean to tell me there's another Brian Westbrook ?

All I have to say is Calliope Projects, 3rd Ward.

That's CP3.

That's also Chris Paul, #3.

My friend Trent is from California, and is teaching at George Washington Alternate School. It was once George Washington High School, and was the alma mater for Master P and C-Murder. It's literally on the edge of the Calliope Projects, where No Limit was formed. One of Trent's students wrote on a poster on why he like GEAS, "Because they're all about that CP3 shit."

He was also telling me how last year, the students saw C-Murder and started screaming shit at him. Until C-Murder brought B-Stupid and a whole bunch of his cronies through the school, looking for the kids who were shouting shit.

Well, I'm cheering for the Hornets this year. I found my answer to the Nets leaving the Dirty Jerz.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Huh? Brian Westbrook? I'd never write "Brian" instead of "Russell," especially with RW being a UCLA alum, JV...

[jason voorhees]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Holy shit, it's been a long week. Don't be scarin my ass with that Westbrook shit. That guy's given me nightmares for years. That's like the "Count the F's" thing where 99% of people don't count all of the Fs.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Did my explanation fool you? You can see my edit in the first post.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Come on people, opening night!

The book from the Free Darko people looks incredible. Gilbert Arenas wrote the preface. I will be buying this.

[matt j]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Is Kobe Bryant still playing? Then I can't really bring myself to care about the NBA.

Oh wait, I forgot my prediction. Celtics won't win. (Heck, it worked last year, right?)

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Behind the scenes of NBA Jam

Did Scottie Pippen's ratings in the game really drop when he played certain teams?
It's true, but only when the Bulls played the Pistons. If there was a close game and anyone on the Bulls took a last second shot, we wrote special code in the game so that they would average out to be bricks. There was the big competition back in the day between the Pistons and the Bulls, and since I was always a big Pistons fan, that was my opportunity to level the playing field.
...
What's the rumor we hear about NBA Jam being haunted?
We had already finished making NBA Jam when Drazen Petrovic died. The game had already shipped and he was on the Nets. So we had all of these coin-op machines around, and one night we were playing Mortal Kombat and there was a Jam machine next to it, and all of a sudden the game started calling out "Petrovic!" "Petrovic!" And this only happened after Petrovic had died. Everyone started freaking out. Something weird was going on with the software, and to this day, if you have an original NBA Jam machine every once in a while it will just yell out "Petrovic!" It's wild.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Dwight Howard last night: 30 pts, 19 reb, 10 blk. First 30 points/10 blocks game since Hakeem did it in 1996.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Lamar Odom, a man out for JV's heart:

Lamar Odom strode into the locker room about an hour before Tuesday's game, a bag of professional wrestling videogames, figurines and DVDs under his arm and a huge grin on his face.

Asked about his interest in wrestling, Odom chronicled his love for "Ric Flair," a retired professional wrestler known for his platinum blonde locks, in-ring antics and use of the catchphrase, "Woooooo!"

Professional wrestling is a lifelong passion for Odom, who said he cried as a boy when he discovered the action wasn't real. One of his most cherished birthday gifts was one of Flair's trademark full-length robes, replete with rhinestones, sequins and colorful feathers along the neckline.

So where does Flair rank among Odom's childhood heroes? "Magic Johnson, No. 1. Then Flair," Odom said with a straight face. "No, really."

[ursus arctos]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

This thread is infinitely more entertaining than regular season games.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

LeBron James is a dick:

ESPN's Chris Sheridan, quoting LeBron James in the Daily Dime:

"You have to stay open-minded if you're a Knicks fan," James said before delivering his parting words. "If you guys want to sleep right now and don't wake up until July 1, 2010, then go ahead. It's going to be a big day."
[...]
Even if you want to leave all your options open, all you have to say is that you love playing in Cleveland, you're from Ohio, and you'll worry about your next contract when this one is done.

That would be enough to get the amplifiers turned up. Teams would still clear cap space for you, just in case. But that's not enough for LeBron James. He's taking it to a whole different level. His amplifier goes to eleven.

The Yankees hat, the coy talk, calling New York his favorite city ... I hope Cleveland pharmacies are stocked up with Maalox this Thanksgiving, because Cavalier fans are feeling the indigestion.

In PR terms, I see that quote above, and the others we have seen like it, as LeBron James slapping Danny Ferry, owner Dan Gilbert, and Cleveland fans across the face.

Would it be so hard, I can imagine them asking LeBron, to squash the rumors?

(I mean, a while ago at a political rally in Ohio, he said what anyone would say at a political rally in Ohio: That he loves and is committed to Ohio. Later James clarified with a New York-based reporter -- just to be super double extra clear -- that he had not ruled out leaving in 2010.)

I just wonder if, perhaps, at some point, the Cavalier brass tires of it all.

It's like you're taking the prettiest lady to the big dance. That's fantastic.

But then all night long she's dropping hints that she's thinking of leaving with that guy over there. Yeah, the one in the blue and orange.

Bad night, huh?

The only difference is, in the middle of a dance, you can't make a trade.

But in the NBA, you can.

Abbott goes on to discuss some trade possibilities. If I was a Cleveland fan, I'd want LeBron gone, now. You can't wait to leave until your contract is up? Screw you, we're going to get rid of you now, and we're going to trade you to a worse team in a non-major city. Think you like New York now? You'll love it when we trade you to Memphis for OJ Mayo and Marc Gasol. Or how about Oklahoma City for their entire team?

Seriously, dump him. At least trade him now and get some value for him, instead of waiting around and having him get you to the playoffs and losing in the second round for the next two years, only for him to bail to go to the Knicks when his contract is up.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

A bit slow to post this, but Shaq's Twitter feed is amazing. Some choice ones:

Last nite i told greg oden , "we r not the same, i am a martian" 1:09 PM Nov 23rd from txt

Did mrs clinton really take da job 11:44 PM Nov 21st from txt

Just helped a man push his car, schwww im tired 5:42 PM Nov 21st from txt

Why does shane battier always were that golf masters jacket on the bench, lol 7:33 PM Nov 19th from txt

Does the bcs even look at teams like ball state. Do they get a real good bowl game 7:27 PM Nov 19th from txt

Question were is dikembe mutumbo?? 7:26 PM Nov 19th from txt

You'll notice those last three all came in a seven-minute stretch. Shaq has a lot on his mind that needs answering.

[jason voorhees]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Lamar Odom and Hootie. Hootie bought one of Flair's Ruby and Diamond-encrusted robes...but only after his grandmother died because she wouldn't have spoken to him.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Don't know if anyone else reads Basketbawful, but in their daily roundup posts they usually have some interesting factoids about Kobe Bryant. Today's:

He spent almost half an hour in a handicap bathroom stall at the Staples Center while a man confined to a wheelchair sat outside waiting patiently but fighting not to mess himself. The kicker? Kobe didn't even have to go to the restroom. He just wanted to catch up on his text messaging.

[jason voorhees]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

I would've said "please let that cunt die in a plane crash," but that would've probably been too harsh and would've turned too many people off.

But I won't say what I'm privately thinking.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Well, we're a day away from the Celtics playing the Lakers. Where's Vernons?

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Suck it, Boston.

And Phil Jackson's 1000th win. Couldn't have been sweeter.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Man, I'm really starting to dislike LeBron.

He was called for a blatant travel last night on a move apparently called the "crab dribble"--he picked up his dribble, left his feet to jump over a defender's legs, then took two more steps on the way to the basket. He complained after the game:

"You have your trademark play, and that's one of my plays. It kind of looks like a travel because it's slow, and it's kind of a high-step, but it's a one-two just as fluent as any other one-two in this league. I got the wrong end of it, but I think they need to look at it -- and they need to understand that's not a travel," James said. "It's a perfectly legal play, something I've always done."

How much of a douche do you have to be to refer to something you do as one of your "trademark plays"?

As much as LeBron was stunned, I think everyone else was surprised that a ref called traveling on a star.

[Kurt Bafokeng]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

There will be no revenge.
It will be 2008 all over again.
Celtics repeat.

Just taking our nano-crisis right now.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Why on earth would your team want Starbury?

[Kurt Bafokeng]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

I have no idea whatsoever. It's all going a bit fast. We used to be R&D, and now seem to be turning into the supermarket shelf with the cheaper stuff one day before its best-before date.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

A classy moment from Boston's loss last night at home to Houston (without Tracy McGrady (which might actually be a positive)), as Ron Artest fouled out with four minutes left. From Basketbawful:

Paul Pierce and Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck: Ron Artest fouled out of the game with just over three minutes remaning. The fans, obviously, got a hoot out of that, which is typical. What was less typical is this: Paul Pierce kindly pointed him to the sideline as Grousbeck, standing in front of his courtside throne, waved goodbye.

[Incandenza]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

I know they're at home, but damn Cleveland looks good. It's about 4 minutes left in the game, Cleveland up on the Celtics by 19, and Doc Rivers has only bench players in the game--he's given up.

[jason voorhees]

NBA 2008-09: Mamba's Revenge

Still haven't been to a Ho-nets game this year, even when they beat the Lakers a few days ago.

As far as Paul Pierce, I just have to say Fuck Ron Artest. I wish the entire team pointed for him to leave. As far as the owner, blame Mark Cuban. As far as LeBron and the Cavs, fuck them too.

And thus ends my high-level analysis.