Worst sporting performances you've seen live

[Hot Pepsi]

I was at Penn State's infamous 6-4 loss to Iowa. I've witnessed many other crappy gridiron and hockey performances, but never have I seen both teams try so hard to lose.

IMP and I were at a DC United match where a guy whose name I forget came on in the second half and got a red card before the PA announcer was able to announce that he'd come into the game. I should remember who that was, but I don't.

I was at a Caps-Bruins game where the Caps won something like 11-2. Tim Thomas was the Bruins goalie. He went on to beat the Caps about a week later and won a Conn Smythe while winning a Stanley Cup. Sometimes, it's just not your night.

[ursus arctos]

It isn't really fair, but ursus minor and went to a Serie C ice hockey match in Bormio where the visiting team only had seven or eight skaters.

They stopped updating the scoreboard in second period.

I saw lots of absolutely abject Mets performances starting in 1963 (including multiple seasons of 20+ losses without a win) and long for the return of such halcyon days.

[Incandenza]

Saw UCLA beat Illinois 6-3 in football in 2003. That was pretty abject from both teams. Illinois had a chance to tie the game with a field goal at the end, and they missed. I and others were cheering less because UCLA won and more because we would be spared overtime.

https://www.espn.com/college-footbal...meId/232560026

[Southport Zeb]

Amateur rugby league in Oldham - Waterhead v Normanton. I believe that the league had a rule to say that teams were allowed to nominate one match per season that they could postpone. Unfortunately for Normanton they had already used their postponement and so, despite the majority of their squad being on a stag weekend, they had to play. This meant that their youth team were called into action and so I literally got to see men against boys. At half time the referee was on the phone to the league secretary to check how long had to be played in order for a result to stand. This turned out to be sixty minutes, at which point Waterhead were winners by around 130 points.

[elguapo4]

Some of my own less than stellar performances;

In goal for a 0.14 defeat

The same team conceded a corner from kick off without the opposition touching the ball

A different team conceding a goal from our own kick off in the second half, again without the opposition getting a touch.

Yet another team conceding from our own kick off after less than 10 seconds ( this time the opposition scored)

I will say that I wasn't personally responsible for any of the last three.

A friend of mine claims to have seen his wife play in a basketball game that was 0.0 at half time.

[ursus arctos]

I pitched in Little League losses of 34-1 and 26-0

I was not a pitcher and had never even stood on a mound before the first one

The fact that I remember the scores more than 50 years later is why they instituted the "mercy rule"

[Hot Pepsi]

Saw UCLA beat Illinois 6-3 in football in 2003. That was pretty abject from both teams. Illinois had a chance to tie the game with a field goal at the end, and they missed. I and others were cheering less because UCLA won and more because we would be spared overtime.

https://www.espn.com/college-footbal...meId/232560026

The 6-4 game was the year after that one. That may have been the origin of the "Hold my Beer" meme.

[ursus arctos]

woody Hayes looked up and smiled

[Hot Pepsi]

I pitched in Little League losses of 34-1 and 26-0

I was not a pitcher and had never even stood on a mound before the first one

The fact that I remember the scores more than 50 years later is why they instituted the "mercy rule"

Even college baseball has a mercy rule. The point isn't to save face, it's to save arms.

[Hot Pepsi]

woody Hayes looked up and smiled

Yeah, both defenses were excellent. That was the PSU defense that had Posluzny and Tamba Hali, among others. But it wasn't until the next year when they got Derrick Williams that the offense finally got in gear.

[ursus arctos]

Little League now has strict pitch limits for that.

So it is more about the psychic impact.

[Hot Pepsi]

Little League now has strict pitch limits for that.

So it is more about the psychic impact.

That's true.
The mercy rules were installed before the pitch count rules.
I think part of it was also to save time, so the next game scheduled for the field could start on time.

In high school football, the rule is usually that after the rule-designated point of futility (RdPOF), the clock never stops running except for a few limited exceptions. It varies by state. My niece plays in the band for a team that gets mercy-ruled a lot.

[ursus arctos]

Those aspects of youth sports are a huge improvement from the bullshit we lived through

[Hot Pepsi]

It's different bullshit now.


I never got to play t-ball or "coach-pitch." When I played, it was kid-pitch from the start.
However, a team's half-inning at bat was over if all nine batters got an at-bat. At least, that was at the U7/U8 level. I can't recall if that was the rule at higher levels.
If the defense overthrew a ball, the runner could only advance one base after the error. I think that rule lasted up at least through U10 (we didn't use the "U" nomenclature, but you get the idea)

Also, at the first level, there were no walks. Four balls awarded you a chance to hit off the tee. (If you missed, that counted as a strike, but most kids could at least project the ball into play off the tee). Maybe that should be the rule in MLB.

I also recall that in 5th/6th grade basketball, if one kid scored 20 points, he had to come out of the game.

[Flynnie]

Worst personal performance: we got mercy ruled in the second inning of a softball game, which was pretty bad. In our defence, the team that played us would have been put in Majors, four divisions above us, had a flu bug not ran through the team on the day of their assessment (they were a new team that had played in a different league). So they had to start at the bottom. I think they beat every team in our division by at least 10 runs, won every game the next year, and finally lost one game in year 3. They’re now in Majors 2 and are 7-2, one place off finally being promoted to where they should have been years ago.

[ursus arctos]

We were completely red in tooth and claw, with authoritarian sadists for coaches

I was very, very pleasantly surprised that our son's experience was completely different

[Flynnie]

Worst performance as a spectator:

- the Pierre McGuire-coached Whalers getting smoked 8-2 by the Sharks (their first playoff team, but a team that relied on defense and goaltending more than goals)

- the first inning of the first London Series game was pretty bad. I can’t remember who started for the Red Sox, but he and Tanaka failed to get out of a first inning that ended something like 6-6.

- Josh Freeman threw a pick six on the first play from scrimmage vs the Patriots at Wembley. The people around myself and I were joking that Wembley might see a 74-0 game. It ended up 35-7 but I don’t think the Pats ever got out of second gear.

[Hot Pepsi]

We were completely red in tooth and claw, with authoritarian sadists for coaches

I was very, very pleasantly surprised that our son's experience was completely different

As I've mentioned before, my first coaches were all a bit nerdy - a psychologist and two sociologists. Very chill.

I never had any sadists, but I had a few who actually cared about winning and a few that talked about giving "110%" which confused me.

7th grade football had the kinds of people you'd imagine would coach 7th grade football. That was my off ramp.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

I went to my one and only Rugby League international in about 2005 at Wigan, it was the first test of an Ashes against Australia, and there was a British lad who was meant to be the star for us and he got himself sent off within about 15 seconds of the kick-off. I'd google now but I'm watching the footy but I'm sure one of our RL officianados will confirm my recollection and name him and the game I remember.

[Me Old Flower]

Adrian Morley with (I think) a high tackle straight from kickoff

[Mumpo]

Amateur rugby league in Oldham - Waterhead v Normanton. I believe that the league had a rule to say that teams were allowed to nominate one match per season that they could postpone. Unfortunately for Normanton they had already used their postponement and so, despite the majority of their squad being on a stag weekend, they had to play. This meant that their youth team were called into action and so I literally got to see men against boys. At half time the referee was on the phone to the league secretary to check how long had to be played in order for a result to stand. This turned out to be sixty minutes, at which point Waterhead were winners by around 130 points

127

[Nurse Duckett]

Worst performance as a spectator:

- Josh Freeman threw a pick six on the first play from scrimmage vs the Patriots at Wembley. The people around myself and I were joking that Wembley might see a 74-0 game. It ended up 35-7 but I don’t think the Pats ever got out of second gear.

I was there for that. I'd taken young son#1 to the Saints-Chargers Wembley game the year before, which was a 37-32 thriller, and persuaded younger son#2 to join us for the Patriots-Buccs game. Son#1 was a Buccs fan. The excitement deflated on that opening play and never recovered.

[Janik]

Playing Hockey for our clubs 2nd team in a re-arranged final game of the season (long distance away), which we had to fulfil or be deducted points... which would have meant relegation. We were really struggling for people as no-one had expected a game that day so had made other plans, but the 1st teams centre-back said he was available to help out. That got us up to a bare XI. He turned up ‘hungover’, i.e. still completely drunk, and proved to be incapable of moving or stopping a ball. But we had no subs so he had to continue. We lost 14-2... but by fulfilling the fixture avoided the deduction so stayed up.

Similarly, playing Squash at Uni - the Uni club ran an end-of-term Mixed doubles tournament. With punch. Very alcoholic punch. And forfeits (of drinking the punch) for mistakes. The Women’s no.1 player was extremely useful, capable of playing for the Men’s 2nds in the County leagues (Squash tends to allow this sort of thing)... until she had a single sniff of punch. That instantly rendered her unable to hit swing her racquet with 30cm of where she meant to. In five minutes she changed from one of the strongest players present to the equivalent level of a 5 year-old complete beginner who one has to very gently dolly the ball towards to give them any chance of even making contact.

Alcohol and sport - don’t do it, kids!

[Janik]

In terms of professional sport, Cambridge and Cheltenham once combined for an Autoglass/Whatever Cup game, that was so bad (and on such a cold night) that the the Cambridge fans (those of us idiotic enough to be there) were cheering for Cheltenham when they attacked during golden goal extra-time on the grounds of ‘someone please score so I can go home and defrost’. Neither did of course, the match eventually being decided on penalties.

[Satchmo Distel]

School sports were traumatic but my nadir was the teacher coaching our makeshift cricket team arranging to play a properly organized one with predictable but painful results.

Worst by a professional team - Barnsley 0 Chelsea 6. I did get a question thrown at me on camera by a Sky crew.