Ultonia SPOTY 2014

[Duncan Gardner]

...as prompted on the Brit Open golf thread. The contenders so far:

Big Darren (I'm been waiting years for this Sandwich and a pint). Odds 5/4

Holywood's Blockbuster. Although whining 'cos he had to play when it was windy was a bit wuss-like? Odds 6/4

Mark and Gerard, the two pale and wan snookerists who reached the World Cup final this week, losing 4-2 to China. Odds 10/1

That GAA family whose daughter/ wife was murdered on her honeymoon should get the sympathy vote. Odds 20/1

Paul Stirling, cricket's lookalike to Smiffy from Gavin and Stacey. Might follow Morgan into the *ngl*nd side soonish? Odds 25/1

Sundry bikers, stock car racers etc. Odds 50/1

Dick Fuckwhittington as he leads the GAWA triumphantly into Warsaw and Kiev for Euro 2012. Odds 1,690/1

[Duncan Gardner]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

I see perennial OTF fave cycling star Wendy Hoekvanholland stormed to World Team Pursuit gold in Colombia yesterday. Surely a contender now there's pressure for a female quota on the shortlist?

You could also do worse than Ashley Hutton, captain of the Ultonia ladies football team. Big Ash scored as the girls won a famous victory against Norway last month, then followed up with a double in the creditable draw in Hungary. Admittedly one was for the Magyars, but never mind. Next, it's off to take on Belgium in Dessel (near Antwerp and Eindhoven and the low countries equiv of Sellafield).

[Duncan Gardner]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

It's the Holywood blockbuster.

[Diable Rouge]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

Ultonian sporting comeback of the year: Just four months after his heart-attack, the anti-Alan Green and legendary voice of RTE Football, George Hamilton, returns to his mike for Wigan-Chelsea.

[Duncan Gardner]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

Good to have him back. George and Greenie should sound closer than they do, both old Methody boys. (Rest assured I have no plans to follow them into full-time punditry).

[Duncan Gardner]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

2012 result:

1 McIlroy (golf)
2= McKillop, Smyth (both athletics)
4 Barnes (boxing)
5 McGuinness (GAA)
6 McCoy (horse riding)

[Duncan Gardner]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

An esoteric field of contenders so far:

Kelly Gallagher (Skiing). Partly-sighted, won Britain's only gold at the Paralympics in Sochi. Odds 4/6

Wozzilroy or McMid-Atlantic (Golf). Realistically only a major win will be enough to top Kelly. Calvert can relax. Odds 5/1, 10/1

Carl 'Jackal' Frampton (Boxing). Set for a World title fight this summer after beating up an ageing Mexican last month. Odds 10/1

Brendan Rodgers (Football). He's like a 12th man on the pitch, what? Odds 14/1

Sundry bikers, stock car racers, AP McCoys etc. Odds 50/1

[OnceGaza]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

??

[Calvert]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

That GAA family whose daughter/ wife was murdered on her honeymoon should get the sympathy vote. Odds 20/1

Oof!
I'm trying really hard not to laugh, but I'm more than a bit sick.
You bad, DG

Gonzo, love, just get the fuck over it, eh?
You'll never break the code.

[Third rate Leszno]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

Duncan Gardner wrote:
Sundry bikers, stock car racers, AP McCoys etc. Odds 50/1

Kris Meeke might wreck more cars than a stock car racer, but the pedant in me has to point out that he's operating at a slightly higher level than the banger boys at Aghadowey and Ballymena...

[ursus arctos]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

Not really sure where to put this, but Palermo have provided more details as to why they parted company with Kyle Lafferty.

Some quotes from Zamparini:

Iachini [the manager] asked me to send Lafferty away. He's a great player who I'm fond of, but he's an Irishman without rules...

Lafferty is a womanizer. He disappears for a week, takes a plane to go to women in Milan. He has 2 families with 6 children.

Lafferty doesn't train. He's uncoordinated. But then he's a great player because he gives 120% on the pitch.

Lafferty is unmanageable in terms of his behavior. I asked Iachini to straighten him out again but he told me he can't.

Not sure if 2 families with 6 children qualifies him for SPOTY, but it must certainly be worth some kind of allowance.

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

McIlroy, of course, has now come out and declared himself an Oirish athlete not a British one when it comes to the 2016 Olympics. That might affect his future odds north of the border.

[Duncan Gardner]

Ultonia SPOTY 2014

The system works, by and large. Our also-rans get a ticket to the Olympics to make up for theirs failing to make the qualifying standard. Or in this case falling behind Justin Rose or Old Tom Morris in the rankings.

Lafferty as a latter-day Corleone/ Casanova doesn't really ring true. He only went to Palermo following his mate (Reno Gattuso), now they're kcking him back to his natural level.