The retitled Vancouver thread

[Rogin the Armchair fan]

Will Canada finally win an olympic gold medal on home soil?

Will it, in fact, be the men's Ice Hockey, the one medal Canadians really would give everything else up for?

Will Britain win another medal? Will anyone give a fuck if we do, unless it's that very attractive blonde speed skater who will probably be the next Sue Barker in terms of a domestic media career if she plays her cards right?

Will I be able to convince any of my mates to watch the men's downhill with me, instead of moaning that it's "just blokes ski-ing?

[ursus arctos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Canada is going to win at least one gold, but it may well not be in men's ice hockey (which is shaping up to be a terrific competition).

[ursus arctos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

BTW, the weather is shaping up to be a significant factor, with unseasonably high temperatures, rain and fog. Even though things are more wintery at Whistler than in downtown Vancouver (as is always the case) expect at least one of the alpine skiing events to be re-scheduled.

The warm weather may also be a factor in the series of crashes in practice at the luge track (the most serious of those happened this morning, with a young Georgian hitting his helmeted head against a metal pole at 140 kph).

[Jon]

The retitled Vancouver thread

The young Georgian has now, tragically, died. The dangerous track, rather than the weather, seems to have been the major factor.

[ursus arctos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Oh crap. The initial reports didn't sound good, but I was hoping against hope. RIP Nodar Kumaritashvili.

He crashed at the fastest part of the track, but I still wonder if there might not have been some excess water on the ice that caused him to hydroplane.

[Third rate Leszno]

The retitled Vancouver thread

That's really shitty news, casts a shadow over the Games before they've even begun.

In the normal hill ski jumping qualification the usual suspects were well to the fore, but interesting to see that German duo Uhrmann and Neumayer were very competitive. Should be a cracking competition tomorrow.

By the way, was my thread not good enough, like? Tsk.

[Incandenza]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Um, in light of recent events, can we please get a retitled thread, Rogin?

[Spearmint Rhino]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Who's this guy in the white suit singing "Hallelujah"? He's fucking hopeless.

Almost as hopeless as the Canadian Prime Minister's attempts at speaking French. Probably aimed at inclusiveness, but backfired badly. If I was Franco-Canadien, I'd be feeling insulted.

Loving the actual Red Indian chiefs on the podium. Great head-dresses. Like the guy from Empire Of The Sun.

Wait, what the fuck is Donald Sutherland doing carrying the Olympic flag?

[Amor de Cosmos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Donald has become the Designated Official Voice of the Nation. Finally someone has inherited the mantle of Lorne Greene. I'm moved to tears.

Stevie's from Alberta. We all know — and expect — that no politician West of Saskatchewan can be expected to speak French. It's just a fact, so he gets a pass.

Red Indian chiefs [suitably Canadian throat clearing noises and embarrassed sidelong glances]

[Reed John]

The retitled Vancouver thread

I love Donald Sutherland. I'd buy anything he was selling. Best voice in the world, but everytime I hear his voice I hear "But that doesn't relieve you of your responsibility for this material. Now I'm waiting for reports from some of you... Listen, I'm not joking. This is my job!"

Did Steve speak? I missed that. I heard the Governor General and the head of the Vancouver committee.

How does one get to be Governor General anyway?

Poor Steve Nash - didn't get to light the torch because of the malfunction. Bummer.

Wayne Gretzky riding in the back of a pick up truck. Just bizarre.

Nice that Bobby Orr got some props. I was hoping that he'd trip and dive spectacularly for old-time sake.

[Spearmint Rhino]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Spearmint Rhino wrote:

Who's this guy in the white suit singing "Hallelujah"? He's fucking hopeless.

KD Lang. Oh dear. (I honestly wasn't trying to be funny.)

[WOM]

The retitled Vancouver thread

I turned to Mrs WOM and said "Millions of people around the world are wondering who this man-boy is singing. Spearmint Rhino, fortunately, isn't one of them."

Which is true, except for that last part.

[Incandenza]

The retitled Vancouver thread

So we're back to using this thread?

The parade of nations put me to sleep, so I haven't seen the rest of it, but man, the opening before the parade...it's a good thing the artistic director said that he wasn't going to try to match Beijing, because that was some hokey stuff. Guy on top of a mountain on a snowboard--EXTREME! Let me sound like GOB Bluth reading off these past cities--INNSBRUCK. Now I'll snowboard off this ramp into the stadium. It's like he came out from the screen and into the stadium! The rendition of "Oh Canada" was paced really strangely, I thought, like they were trying to turn it into a slow jam. And the giant ice dildos with the Frankenstein arms...embarrassing. So I hope it picks up after the parade, but reading some of the comments here, I guess not...

[Guy Profumo]

The retitled Vancouver thread

[Guy Profumo]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Jon wrote:

The young Georgian has now, tragically, died. The dangerous track, rather than the weather, seems to have been the major factor.

All his own fault it would appear.

The FIL investigation concluded that the crash was “extremely exceptional” and was a result of driving mistakes made by Kumaritashvili in curve 15.

“After a routine run, the athlete came late out of curve 15 and did not compensate properly to make correct entrance into curve 16,” a FIL statement reads. “This resulted in a late entrance into curve 16 and although the athlete worked to correct the problem he eventually lost control of the sled resulting in the tragic accident.”

Now, I know nowt about luge, tobogganing, or bobsled.*

But.

1. Why the need to do this, if the accident was a result of the competitor's error?

First, the walls at the end of curve 16 – where Kumaritashvili flew out of the track and hit an unpadded steel post – will be raised. Second, the ice profile will be changed to make the curve less severe. Both of these changes can be finished before the competition Saturday.

2. Why the FUCK is there a metal pole situated next to the track?

Where, if someone comes off they can FUCKING HIT IT?

* In which it would appear I'm by no means alone.

The track's designer, the architect Laurenz Kosichek, in a quote that might come back to haunt him, told Canadian television last month that before starting work on the project he "knew as much about bobsled and luge as probably anyaverage person does – which is next to nothing".

[Incandenza]

The retitled Vancouver thread

It's a whole row of steel supports directly next to the track. You'd think they would put up pads on them, or put a crash net above the track where racers come out of turns.

I think this is really scandalous.

[Anton Gramscescu]

The retitled Vancouver thread

1. I'll probably write more later, but that was the most cringe-indicuing opening-night spectacle I've ever seen. The beat-poet version of "I am Canadian" was horrific, but only slightly more embarassing than the First-Nations-decending-from-the-Space-Ship piece at the beginning.

(and to think - Cirque du Soleil offered to do the entire thing for free but fucking VANOC held out for creative control...jesus, I despair for this country).

I really like kd lang. I also thought putting Ashley Macissac in was very brave - knowing him, i was half-convinced he'd drop trou in front of the PM.

The chaos in the VIP booth at the start was hilarious - the Indian Chiefs didn't make it on time.

The fact that the big torch rig didn't work properly was also fantastic

2. The luge story is actually much worse than it seems. Even the luge federation knew the course was too fast, and explicitly told the Sochi organizers to on no account build something like it. Moreover, in an attempt to get home field advantage, the Canadian team only gave foreign teams the bare minimum allowed time for practice (except the Russians...we made a deal with them to give them extra time on the course here so that in return our team gets extra time at Sochi in four years.

[ursus arctos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

I was going to mention the training point, which (just like the inexcusable exposed metal beams at the most dangerous point of the track) becomes even more outrageous when one considers that one of the distinctive aspects of the Winter Olympics is that they feature athletes in sports such as luge that do not compete on the World Cup circuit and simply are not as skilled or experienced as their much more highly trained counterparts. And when you have Armin Zoeggler, one of the absolute legends of the sport, crashing under similar circumstances an hour or so earlier, you can imagine what these real amateurs were/are up against.

Kumaritashvili was an example of just such an athlete (as is the Indian guy and the Romanian woman who crashed and lost consciousness two days ago), and the FIL, the organizers and the IOC failed abjectly in their duty to take all reasonable precautions to ensure that he was able to pursue his Olympic dream in the safest manner possible.

[Anton Gramscescu]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Not that I'm in any way defending VANOC, but why is letting amateurs into the Olympic games considered OK? I mean, at the ceremony last night, there were delegations from the Cayman Islands, Morocco, Ghana, Ethiopia, Mexico (a 51 year-old down-hiller), etc. There must be hundreds of bobsledders, skiers, etc. better than these dudes from more established nations...how do they qualify exactly? Who says - "hey, a luger from Tunisia, we'll let him in, but not that dude from Equatorial Guinea - that would just lead to a freak show"?

edit - ok, no jokes about amateurism in the Olympics...I meant it in the sense of "people not on the big tours"...part-timers, in tother words.

[ursus arctos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Gramsci, it's clear that these guys are not as good at what they do as say the 20th best luger in Germany, but broad participation (in terms of the number of countries represented) has always been a part of the IOC's "mission". I also think that there are more athletes who are close to being genuine amateurs and still are world class in their disciplines in the winter sports than you may think. Outside of ice hockey, alpine skiing and figure skating, there certainly isn't much money for North Americans in the other disciplines, and even a team like Italy's tends to rely on a lot of athletes who have public service jobs (often with the caribineri or guardia di finanza) that still allow them to train.

As to the particular qualification requirements, I don't have an answer for you. My understanding of the process is that each sports's federation sets minimum standards in consultation with the IOC, and that individual national Olympic committees can then chose to apply more stringent standards in picking their squads. Those standards were tightened after the "Eddie the Eagle" experience in Calgary, but still don't require "world class" times (though I think that the Alpine skiing ones may require some World Cup experience).

A complication with the "sliding" events is the relative paucity of luge/bob tracks, of which there are very few outside of cities that have hosted the Olympics. The only ones in North America that I am aware of are those at Lake Placid, Calgary and Whistler, the only ones in Italy are at Cortina and outside of Torino, and the only ones in France are at Grenoble and Albertville. There are a few non-Olympic tracks in Germany, Austria and Russia, but not very many. I'm pretty sure that there isn't a track in Georgia.

[Reed John]

The retitled Vancouver thread

I thought, like they were trying to turn it into a slow jam.

I said the same thing on the other thread. We think alike.

I'll probably write more later, but that was the most cringe-indicuing opening-night spectacle I've ever seen. The beat-poet version of "I am Canadian" was horrific, but only slightly more embarassing than the First-Nations-decending-from-the-Space-Ship piece at the beginning.

I thought it was great because we rarely hear anything like that out of Canada. I like the first nations stuff. Not so much the descent from space part, but the costumes were fantastic and showed the diversity of First Nations.

I also thought putting Ashley Macissac in was very brave - knowing him, i was half-convinced he'd drop trou in front of the PM.

Was that him? I've heard his music and heard about him, but didn't know what he looked like. I really liked that part. I like that music. I guess there's a lot of it in Atlantic Canada.

I read that there are reports that there was supposed to be a part celebrating Ontario and the Great Lakes area that was supposed to feature Rush but it got cut out of deference to the Georgian who died (?). I don't think that's true, but I heard it's being passed around on Rush fan sites. At leas, I hope that's not true.

The coolest thing was that floor/HD screen and some of the effects they pulled off. That thing with the whales was awesome.

[jefe]

The retitled Vancouver thread

ursus, I think the sliding circuit has been gradually expanding basically with every Olympics, and new track construction. I think there's an annual stop in Salt Lake City now, and Lillehammer as well. If everyone's coming over here to Calgary and Lake Placid, may as well stay the extra week and compete again.

[WOM]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Reed of the Valley People wrote:

I also thought putting Ashley Macissac in was very brave - knowing him, i was half-convinced he'd drop trou in front of the PM.

S'funny, when the fiddlers started up I thought "This would be a perfect place to stick Ashley MacIssac, but he'd probably wave his cock at the PM or piss on somebody" and bang, there he was.

The whales thing was great wasn't it? And I didn't mind the poetry slam guy, and that's not really my thing.

[Amor de Cosmos]

The retitled Vancouver thread

Techno-wise the whales were pretty cool and I sort of liked parts of the prairie ballet, but, overall it was seriously expensive kitsch (which is interesting in its own right.) For me the inflatable bear was probably the low point.

[Reed John]

The retitled Vancouver thread

But you couldn't do a homage to the Great North without a big bear. Could have been better designed and executed, maybe, but the crowd liked it.

The Prairie's thing with the kid flying over the fields - they played Both Sides Now which was, of course, written by Alberta's Joni Mitchell, but was that Joni Mitchell singing? If so, I'm not familiar with that version of it. We used to sing that at summer camp, so I know the lyrics well.