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Sports you simply couldn't compete in

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    Sports you simply couldn't compete in

    I'd have a go at most of them. I mean, I can run, I can swim, I can kick a ball about, I know how to make a tennis ball go where I want it to, I can chuck a dart and I'm actually pretty good at snooker and golf.

    Sure, I'd be bloody hopeless at all of them if called upon to represent Clayton-le-Woods at the Olympics, a bit like that swimmer from Equatorial Guinea or the 18-stone sprinter from Tonga. But there's one sport, I think, I simply couldn't do, watching it now on telly.

    And that's the downhill ski-ing.

    Those guys are mental . It's only when you see it filmed from the skier's point of view (as Martin Bell has just done) you realise. That is a slope I wouldn't WALK down if it was grassy in summer, let alone covered in ice. They touch speeds that are faster than my Renault Megane can achieve on the flat. On skis. With no brakes.

    No way. No, no, way. I think I'd take one look at the top, begin to cry a little, and say that I'd changed my mind.

    #2
    Sports you simply couldn't compete in

    Motor racing of any kind. I hate high speed driving.

    Ski-jumping. I am not mental.

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      #3
      Sports you simply couldn't compete in

      Goalball

      Touch wood.

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        #4
        Sports you simply couldn't compete in

        Bull Riding. Like getting kicked in the balls by a pneumatic powered ball-kicking machines for a few seconds then thrown roughly into the ground and then run over by a truck.

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          #5
          Sports you simply couldn't compete in

          pole vault

          most of the gymnastics stuff, apart from "floor"

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            #6
            Sports you simply couldn't compete in

            Jai alai. I might as well be a chimp in a cannonball testing range.

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              #7
              Sports you simply couldn't compete in

              Golf

              I've tried, tried, tried and tried again over about a 10 year period - and it drove me up the fucking wall!!!

              It just wasn't to be. I like watching it though

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                #8
                Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                I've tried pole vault, seemed fucking impossible. Other people at school seemed to manage it though, perhaps it was just me.

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                  #9
                  Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                  Fox hunting and bull fighting.

                  Because I am not a cunt.

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                    #10
                    Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                    Anything involving heights is out for me. So no climbing, skiing, pole-vaulting etc. Also, I can't skate to save my life, I can only swim about one width of a pool, and I never got round to learning to drive.

                    It will be quicker to list the sorts I can do.

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                      #11
                      Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                      I can swim, but other than that I am the Purple Cow and claim my £5.

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                        #12
                        Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                        Hurling. I've become addicted to watching this on MSK; whose sheer inability to get the sport or the teams right in the listings gets right on my pissing nerves.

                        Anyway, back to the point. Cracking game to watch, but I'm not sure how long I could hack it. Looks like good fun though, for the two minutes it takes to get smashed into the floor.

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                          #13
                          Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                          Gerontophile wrote:
                          Ski-jumping. I am not mental.
                          Word. Almost all of the winter sports I could have a go at, but nothing short of a frontal lobotomy would get me to ski down one of those slides, let alone jump off the end of it.

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                            #14
                            Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                            Weightlifting - I just don't have the appropriate physique for it.

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                              #15
                              Sports you simply couldn't compete in

                              Absolutely agree with ski-jumping - craziness.
                              The luge - almost bordering on insanity
                              Triathlon - just......no way

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