I'd have a go at most of them. I mean, I can run, I can swim, I can kick a ball about, I know how to make a tennis ball go where I want it to, I can chuck a dart and I'm actually pretty good at snooker and golf.
Sure, I'd be bloody hopeless at all of them if called upon to represent Clayton-le-Woods at the Olympics, a bit like that swimmer from Equatorial Guinea or the 18-stone sprinter from Tonga. But there's one sport, I think, I simply couldn't do, watching it now on telly.
And that's the downhill ski-ing.
Those guys are mental . It's only when you see it filmed from the skier's point of view (as Martin Bell has just done) you realise. That is a slope I wouldn't WALK down if it was grassy in summer, let alone covered in ice. They touch speeds that are faster than my Renault Megane can achieve on the flat. On skis. With no brakes.
No way. No, no, way. I think I'd take one look at the top, begin to cry a little, and say that I'd changed my mind.
Sure, I'd be bloody hopeless at all of them if called upon to represent Clayton-le-Woods at the Olympics, a bit like that swimmer from Equatorial Guinea or the 18-stone sprinter from Tonga. But there's one sport, I think, I simply couldn't do, watching it now on telly.
And that's the downhill ski-ing.
Those guys are mental . It's only when you see it filmed from the skier's point of view (as Martin Bell has just done) you realise. That is a slope I wouldn't WALK down if it was grassy in summer, let alone covered in ice. They touch speeds that are faster than my Renault Megane can achieve on the flat. On skis. With no brakes.
No way. No, no, way. I think I'd take one look at the top, begin to cry a little, and say that I'd changed my mind.
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