It's always a number 1 day!

[Patrick Thistle]

[Patrick Thistle]

Maybe it's the jacket...

[Jah Womble]

There was a particular demographic to pursue, of course.

[Benjm]

The polka dot shirt and houndstooth jacket combo feels very much like a man shouting, "Dull? I don't think so!" at the world.

[Amor de Cosmos]

Possibly bollox but there was rumour he was a Klan member at one time.

[Discordant Resonance]

Today in 2002, Milk Inc are new at 10 with Walk On Water, while Truth Hurts and Rakim tumble four to 9 with Addictive. Appleton fall six to 8 with Fantasy, and the Sugababes slip four to 7 with Round Round. Sarah Whatmore goes straight in at 6 with When I Lost You, and Ronan Keating is new at 5 with I Love It When We Do. Scooter is fresh at 4 with Nessaja, as is Kelly Osborne at 3 with Papa Don't Preach. Liberty X are also neophytes at 2 with Got To Have Your Love, but Atomic Kitten remain at 1 with The Tide Is High.

[3 Colours Red]

Other than the Sugababes, that's got to be one of the most piss-weak top 10s ever.

[delicatemoth]

DR hasn't even posted any clips. I'd have to listen to Truth Hurts ft. Rakim before condemning, but the rest is flimsy indeed.

Kelly Osborne at 3 with Papa Don't Preach

You're a pop artist who'd like to cover a Madonna song. Do you pick a)one of her breezy bangers or b)one of her most emotionally complex, musically polished and passionately sung classics? Kudos to Kelly for ambition, I guess.

[Discordant Resonance]

Ironically, if I'd chosen that decade yesterday, the relevant chart would have had Sex On Fire, I Kissed A Girl, Disturbia, and The Man Who Can't Be Moved, so certainly more video-worthy at least.

[Jah Womble]

You're a pop artist who'd like to cover a Madonna song. Do you pick a)one of her breezy bangers or b)one of her most emotionally complex, musically polished and passionately sung classics? Kudos to Kelly for ambition, I guess.

Subject matter apart, Madonna’s PDP always sounded a bit ‘phoned-in to me, not sure why. Think I’d take Live to Tell for emotional depth and Justify My Love for passion over it, personally.

[Benjm]

I salute everyone's valiant attempts to wring talking points from that most underwhelming ten. I took a peep at the Appleton single in case it turned out to be an underrated gem in the vein of, say, some of Rachel Stevens' solo efforts. It wasn't.

[3 Colours Red]

I took a peep at the Appleton single in case it turned out to be an underrated gem in the vein of, say, some of Rachel Stevens' solo efforts. It wasn't.

There's a reason Shaznay and Mel took most of the lead vocals for All Saints.

[Discordant Resonance]

Today in 1979, Roxy Music tumble 4 places to 10 with Angel Eyes, while Randy Vanwarmer (as opposed to Damp Carcooler?) falls 1 to 9 with Just When I Needed You Most. The Police are new at 8 with Message In A Bottle, while BA Robertson slips three to 7 with Bang Bang. The Crusaders are down one to 6 with Street Life, and Dollar soar four to 5 with Love's Gotta Hold On Me. The Bellamy Brothers jump three to 4 with If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me, and ELO also climb one to 3 with Don't Bring Me Down. Cliff Richard drops from the top to 2 with We Don't Talk Anymore, replaced by Gary Numan, who drives on one to 1 with Cars.

[Discordant Resonance]

[Jah Womble]

Today in 1979, Roxy Music tumble 4 places to 10 with Angel Eyes, while Randy Vanwarmer (as opposed to Damp Carcooler?) falls 1 to 9 with Just When I Needed You Most. The Police are new at 8 with Message In A Bottle, while BA Robertson slips three to 7 with Bang Bang. The Crusaders are down one to 6 with Street Life, and Dollar soar four to 5 with Love's Gotta Hold On Me. The Bellamy Brothers jump three to 4 with If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me, and ELO also climb one to 3 with Don't Bring Me Down. Cliff Richard drops from the top to 2 with We Don't Talk Anymore, replaced by Gary Numan, who drives on one to 1 with Cars.

Gary Webb replacing Harry Webb at the top. (Don't remind me about Bang Bang...)

Is 'damp' an antonym for 'randy'? Never heard that before.

[Sean of the Shed]

I remember buying Message in a Bottle on green vinyl when it came out.
I've mentioned Street Life before, it's got one of the coolest instrumental breaks ever in the history of pop music.

[Discordant Resonance]

Gary Webb replacing Harry Webb at the top. (Don't remind me about Bang Bang...)

Is 'damp' an antonym for 'randy'? Never heard that before.

Funnily enough, I didn't fancy Googling "randy antonyms" for a better option!

[Benjm]

The single version of Angel Eyes is very different to the album version. That might a a thread idea for when the nights close in further.

[Benjm]

I saw Randy Antonym supporting Dwight Yoakham at The Mean Fiddler.

[Amor de Cosmos]

The only two songs I recognise are Don't Bring Me Down and Message in a Bottle. Two continents separated by a common musical language at that point in time.

[Jah Womble]

I saw Randy Antonym supporting Dwight Yoakham at The Mean Fiddler.

That in itself looks like an anagram: 'Tranny Dynamo', perhaps...

[Discordant Resonance]

Y, Donny Mantra, to which Uros Predic would happily subscribe?

[Discordant Resonance]

There being no Fifties chart for tomorrow, I skip to the Nineties, where Michael Bolton, perhaps predictably, tumbles four to 10 with the risqué request of Can I Touch You There, as do Berri (sic) to 9 with Sunshine After The Rain. Smokie and Roy Chubby Brown climb one to 8 with Living Next Door To Alice, and the Outhere Brothers are new at 7 with La La La Hey Hey. Janet Jackson goes straight in at 6 with Runaway, and the Rembrandts slip three to 5 with I'll Be There For You. Mariah Carey is brand new at 4 with Fantasy, and N-Trance drop one to 3 with Stayin' Alive. Michael Jackson is down from the top to 2 with You Are Not Alone, where Shaggy goes straight to 1 with Boombastic.

[Discordant Resonance]

But of course, it would be remiss not to include Nick Park's iconic Levi's ad here:

[Jah Womble]

(‘1995’, in case anyone was wondering.)