Your Favourite Totally Naff Song

[Amor de Cosmos]

I've Never Been To Me — Charlene.

And I make no apologies. Though Berry Gordy should, every day.

[Sits]

One of my daughter's favourite songs. Can't stand it myself. I will think about mine while someone comes along and says there are no naff songs.

[San Bernardhinault]

I was thinking “What counts as totally naff?” As I like lots of songs that at some point have been seen as naff but since became co-opted as cool (Pilot, Ace, Carpenters come to mind) and then I remembered that I actually unapologetically love Escape, despite its romantically awkward message.

[caja-dglh]

Whichever yacht rock song you consider to be naff.

[Amor de Cosmos]

One of my daughter's favourite songs. Can't stand it myself. I will think about mine while someone comes along and says there are no naff songs.

Well yeah. One person's naff is another's classic. For me it's a song that makes me giggle and groan in the same three minutes. A song I'd never own, but also one I don't mind hearing now and again because it makes me laugh out loud.

[delicatemoth]

My abiding memory of that Charlene song is flicking over from TOTP to the World Cup, so she sang "I've never been to..." before John Motson chimed in with "...just on the edge of the box."

I like quite a few songs that I know are often considered naff. 'We All Stand Together' by Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus is one. But I don't think it's naff, it's twee alright but I think the arrangement is delightful. I like a bunch of Phil Collins songs, if he's still naff. My favourite is 'Against All Odds'.

So it's probably 'Rollin' by Limp Bizkit, which is ludicrously, gloriously naff. I hear it as a duet between Scrappy Doo and the big dog out of 'Tom And Jerry'. It also contains the magnificent (and surely accidental) non-binary representation of "Hey ladies! Hey fellas! And the people that don't give a fuck!" It's big dumb fun and makes me smile.

What's the deal with Berry Gordy, AdC?

[Amor de Cosmos]

I've Never Been To Me was on Motown.

[tee rex]

Back Home by the England 1970 World Cup squad.

First sung in the trenches of WW1, this traditional hymn of hope and homesickness spread around the globe thanks to the merchant navy and a million lonely hearts. Vera Lynn committed it to vinyl shortly after the fall of Singapore in 1941 and soon there were versions in German, French and Japanese. It remains a popular standard whenever TEFL teachers from England are asked to perform at social gatherings overseas and can't remember the words to Jerusalem. It was recently voted the second favourite funeral song in the UK, after Robbie Williams' Angels.

(Source: Wikipedia)

[steveeeeeeeee]

My daughter's 3 favourite songs are "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer, "California Girls" by Katy Perry and "Unbelievable" by EMF. I love them too.

[Sporting]

I like the Frog Chorus one too. The melody is daft but could you have written a more earwormery song?

[Stumpy Pepys]

Probably The Laughing Gnome by David Bowie.

[Patrick Thistle]

I have The Ultimate Ace of Base in my car. It's a 3 CD compilation.

I also own a 2CD best of Boney M. And several Dr Hook albums.

Islands in the Stream is possibly considered naff. It's been murdered enough times in the name of comedy to be a contender for naffness. I always sing along though (to the Dolly and Kenny original).

And more than once Mrs Thistle has walked away embarrassed because I've been singing along I Think We're Alone Now when it appears on the Asda instore rotation.

[Jimski]

I'm not really sure what counts as "naff", but I'm sure I like loads of naff songs, depending on definition. "Waiting for a Star To Fall", say - does that count, because I love it! How about the 80s euro-pop likes of "La Dolce Vita" or "Tarzan Boy"? Love both those too.

Or does it have to be a genuinely popular played-to-death number one type thing? "Down Under"? Yes please. "The Safety Dance"? Yes please.

[Benjm]

I wouldn't necessarily say this is naff but certainly no one has ever described it as edgy or cool.

On the Wings of Love - Jeffrey Osborne

[ale]

Just off top of head-Horace Wimp by ELO, Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace,Spice Up Your Life by Spice Girls,Automatic Lover by Vibrators, Girls On Film by Duran Duran, War Song by Culture Club.

[treibeis]

King Of The Cops.

[tee rex]

Islands in the Stream is possibly considered naff. It's been murdered enough times in the name of comedy to be a contender for naffness. I always sing along though (to the Dolly and Kenny original).

Acquitted of naffness. Should never even have got to court. Singing along is not only permitted, it should be compulsory.

Over-played is a different category altogether, plenty of classics would go in there.

[Toby Gymshorts]

For your consideration:

[Sits]

I'm not really sure what counts as "naff", but I'm sure I like loads of naff songs, depending on definition. "Waiting for a Star To Fall", say - does that count, because I love it! How about the 80s euro-pop likes of "La Dolce Vita" or "Tarzan Boy"? Love both those too.

Or does it have to be a genuinely popular played-to-death number one type thing? "Down Under"? Yes please. "The Safety Dance"? Yes please.

Ah, both La Dolce Vita and Tarzan Boy were hits around the time the future Mrs. S and I were first “courting”. Right down to the rather feeble synthesised lion roar on Tarzan Boy.

[Benjm]

For your consideration:

This could fall into the Once Was Naff category, with the Giorgio Moroder connection adding a retrospective layer of tastemaker approval as his star has waxed over the years. It is a great tune.

[3 Colours Red]

The Final Countdown - Euro-hair metal with nonsensical lyrics and a guitar solo that even Yngwie Malmsteen might consider a bit much.

[Nurse Duckett]

I wonder where that Chicory Tip video was filmed - somewhere similar to (but not) Brighton or Bournemouth?
I love how the passers-by are so used to having bands miming to songs on their promenade that they totally ignore them.

[Capybara]

This could fall into the Once Was Naff category, with the Giorgio Moroder connection adding a retrospective layer of tastemaker approval as his star has waxed over the years. It is a great tune.

This. It's great.

As to where it is, it shouldn't be hard to locate with the benefit of Streetview. I initially thought Eastbourne but I've checked and it isn't. I think the pebbly beach rules out Bournemouth. Hastings perhaps?

[tee rex]

Southsea, apparently.

[Jah Womble]

Yummy Yummy Yummy - Ohio Express

(For those with long memories.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnuekHkAjmI

(For those without.)