Your Favourite Totally Naff Song

[Stumpy Pepys]

Yummy Yummy Yummy - Ohio Express

Julie London does a great cover of that song.

[Mr Delicieux]

From Looney Tunes: back in action.

Shake those coconuts, people

[Greenlander]

Well the fact I get the piss ripped out of me either means I'm naff or it's actually my mates but I'm a sucker for Land Of Make Believe by Bucks Fizz and Hand Held In Black And White by Dollar which has an even better 9-minute remix out there.

[Nurse Duckett]

Southsea, apparently.

Great, thanks. I thought it looked familiar, although even Southsea seafront has changed a little in 50+ years!

[Stumpy Pepys]

Well the fact I get the piss ripped out of me either means I'm naff or it's actually my mates but I'm a sucker for Land Of Make Believe by Bucks Fizz and Hand Held In Black And White by Dollar which has an even better 9-minute remix out there.

I can't figure in what universe Hand Held In Black And White is considered naff. .A great pop song and a great Trevor Horn production.

And Land of Make Believe is one of Bucks Fizz's better efforts.

[Auntie Beryl]

Artists are more likely to have the word "naff" attached to them than songs, in my head at least.

So it goes that the supremely naff Tight Fit's "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is sufficiently naff to infect that same act's "Fantasy Island" - a genuinely great record.

(Edited to add: the Trevor Horn produced Dollar tracks could be viewed by some as naff because David Van Day and Therese Bazar are themselves rather Primula, and no reflection on the records themselves.)

[Giggler]

I think Mamba Seyta by Bucks Fizz is probably meant to be quite earnest, but it doesn’t come across that way. I love it.

[diggedy derek]

Almost impossible to separate naff from totally naff. But I really unapologetically like “Saturday Night” by Whigfield. And Los del Río’s "Macarena" is a miraculous pop song. It's remarkable to think it's nearly 30 years old and kids around the world still dance exactly the same dance.

[Sean of the Shed]

I'm not really sure what counts as "naff", but I'm sure I like loads of naff songs, depending on definition. "Waiting for a Star To Fall", say - does that count, because I love it! How about the 80s euro-pop likes of "La Dolce Vita" or "Tarzan Boy"? Love both those too.

Or does it have to be a genuinely popular played-to-death number one type thing? "Down Under"? Yes please. "The Safety Dance"? Yes please.

Point of order, Safety Dance is far from naff, even if the video tries to push it in that direction. It's a piece of high quality new wave.

[diggedy derek]

Yeah “Safety Dance” is a sophisticated bit of synth pop.

[Sean of the Shed]

Someone may be along to tell me that this isn't naff, but my absolute favourite 'naff' tune is Zoom by Fat Larry's Band.

[Aitch]

Victoria by The Fall.

I realise I'll get hung for suggesting, even tangentially, that The Fall are naff, but this poppy cover of a Kink's number is a betrayal of sorts of their catalogue and heritage. And I love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYpQyrIBFSM

[Walt Flanagans Dog]

Almost impossible to separate naff from totally naff. But I really unapologetically like “Saturday Night” by Whigfield. And Los del Río’s "Macarena" is a miraculous pop song. It's remarkable to think it's nearly 30 years old and kids around the world still dance exactly the same dance.

I'd even go into bat for The Ketchup Song.

[diggedy derek]

I can't believe someone's suggested The Fall on a thread about naff music. In the nicest possible way, that's peak-OTF. I mean, I love that cover, but it's hard to associate The Fall with naffness

[Nocturnal Submission]

And more than once Mrs Thistle has walked away embarrassed because I've been singing along I Think We're Alone Now when it appears on the Asda instore rotation.

Please tell me that you've never seen Ted:

[Greenlander]

Someone may be along to tell me that this isn't naff, but my absolute favourite 'naff' tune is Zoom by Fat Larry's Band.

Naff or no, I'm with you on this.

[Nocturnal Submission]

Great, thanks. I thought it looked familiar, although even Southsea seafront has changed a little in 50+ years!

I'm contractually obliged to mention that I've tombstoned from South Parade Pier, as seen in the background.

[San Bernardhinault]

Yeah. "Bucks Fizz aren't naff, but something by The Fall is" is definitely where the conversation borders on incomprehensible. The Fall might be shit, but they were never naff.

[diggedy derek]

I'd say that "Gangham Style", while spectacularly naff, is undeniably a total banger.

[Nocturnal Submission]

There's some amazing stuff on here - songs that I'm surprised that anyone considers naff and songs that barely qualify as songs! Anyway, great stuff.

I'll plump for Mouldy Old Dough by Lieutenant Pigeon (an anagram of Genuine Potential), though again more novelty song than naff. High score on the childhood nostalgometer too. The Wiki entry for it is terrific too:

"Mouldy Old Dough" is an instrumental single, which was a hit for Lieutenant Pigeon.

It was written by Nigel Fletcher and Rob Woodward and first produced by them under the name of their other band, Stavely Makepeace.^[3]

Recorded in the front room of Woodward's Coventry semi-detached house, it featured his mother Hilda Woodward on piano,^[4] in a boogie-woogie, honky-tonk, ragtime style. The only lyrics are the growled title "Mouldy Old Dough" and "Dirty Old Man" by Fletcher. When Fletcher asked what they meant, their author, Rob Woodward, said he had no idea.^[5]

It is the only British number one single to feature a mother and son.^[4]

Originally released in early 1972, it flopped on its first release. It was picked up in Belgium and used on a current affairs programme, and became a hit there, reaching number one in the Belgian singles chart. Decca, encouraged by this success, re-released it and with the backing of then BBC Radio 1 DJ Noel Edmonds, it finally became a hit in the UK, spending four weeks at the top of the UK Singles Chart in October 1972.^[6] It sold 790,000 copies. In New Zealand, the song was number one for five weeks.^[7] The song also reached number one in Ireland and reached the Top 10 in Canada and Australia, but did not chart in the United States.

"Mouldy Old Dough" (the title being an adaptation of the 1920s jazz phrase, "vo-de-o-do")^[3] became the second biggest selling UK single of the year, behind The Band of the Royal Scots Dragoon Guards' bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace".

The tune was also used by LOTTO New Zealand as a successful advertising routine.

As of April 2019, Hilda Woodward's piano is an Exhibit at Coventry Music Museum,^[8] where other artefacts belonging to the band are also on display.

[The Awesome Berbaslug!!!]

like quite a few songs that I know are often considered naff. 'We All Stand Together' by Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus is one. But I don't think it's naff, it's twee alright but I think the arrangement is delightful.

Oh DM, don't get me started on this. This is Paul mcCartney's best song, and the orchestral schlager fest he spent his entire life building towards. I reckon it's one thing to write sophisticated songs for adults with notions, but the real test, is can you write a piece of music that every child loves on first hearing. I don't even mind that it was associated with that prat Rupert the bear. And it's got frogs! ALso "Tap tap Ribbit ribbit."

[hobbes]

I'll plump for Mouldy Old Dough by Lieutenant Pigeon (an anagram of Genuine Potential), though again more novelty song than naff.

Number One on the day I was born.

[Artificial Hipster]

There's something of a theme with mine..

Air Supply - All Out Of Love

REO Speedwagon - Keep On Loving You. And the other one of theirs, I forget what it's called right now.

But for peak awfulness I give you..

Styx - Babe. It's not my favourite Styx song. I could probably think of a few of those - the title track from Pieces of Eight perhaps, or Half Penny Two Penny followed by A.D. 1958 from Paradise Theatre. I hadn't heard it in years when it featured on Pick of the Pops during a drive to football recently. I couldn't turn the radio up loud enough.

I wasn't a cool teenager.

[Sporting]

Victoria by The Fall.

I realise I'll get hung for suggesting, even tangentially, that The Fall are naff, but this poppy cover of a Kink's number is a betrayal of sorts of their catalogue and heritage. And I love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYpQyrIBFSM

Maybe I'm Going To Spain is naffer.

[Felicity, I guess so]

Anything by Baccara

I do Save Your Love by Renee and Renato at karaoke and will happily sing along to Shaddappayou Face, partly cos it was a hit when I worked in St Andrews hotels and we sang it to each other in the kitchen, but I genuinely LIKE Baccara's hits